Oh, I was trying to make it
both + ???
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B next to N on keyboard
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Fixed that.
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okay, so lots of you have thrown out very random, nebulous definitions of âlovingâ someone, which actually donât do any defining at all. Hereâs my take:
to love someone (even yourself!) is to be invested in their well-being.
invested: youâre willing to spend some kind of capital now (time, money, emotional effort), for that person to have a greater return of that thing in the future
well-being: physical, mental, emotional, financial, spiritual, and even sexual health.
Someone prove me wrong that this definition doesnât encompass everything everyone else has said above, as well as covering things like âGod so loved the worldâ and Jesus saying âLove one anotherâ and all the romantic notions as well.
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âRomantic notionsâ generally involve emotions and not some sort of conscious choice (regardless of feelings). And this is often heavily influenced by movies and books.
âFallen out of loveâ generally conveys the idea that the feelings are no longer there . . . and the person doesnât âfeel likeâ investing resources.
One item that I think will blur the lines in trying to define âloveâ is the concept of commitment and how that plays into a relationship.
I think weâre trying to distinguish these cases, not encompass them. Weâre specifically talking about love in a romantic relationship, not that of God, or family, or friend.
This appears to be a transactional model of love, modeled after capital investment in a company. You put in time now, and get something back later.
if so, that is the exact opposite of biblical godâs love, agape, which is entirely giving and takes nothing back in return.
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agreed.
One thing Iâve been working towards is a definition of âloving myselfâ that can also apply to âloving othersâ, and thatâs why Iâve settled where I did. I can love myself by choosing not to participate in that self-destructive activity right now, because I know that doing so will pay off great dividends in the future, even though right now itâs kind of a shitbag of a momentary experience of (seeming) deprivation.
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there is loving someone and being in love with someone.
Loving someone I am ok with your definition
Being in love is a subset and hopefully what husband and wife feel and I feel that is where the sexual component comes in.
Evaluating a marriage you need to evaluate if they are in love
I donât think there needs to be a sexual component. Iâve been in relationships where the sex component is absent, but it is still a romantic attraction.
Of course, some people canât separate sex from love, so for them itâll be tied.
We just need more labels for things.
ok, substitute romantic for sex in my comment
but Broâs definition was mostly platonic love
yup, heâs trying to encompass all forms of love.
I think we can agree that all forms of love seems to contain some form of altruism, where you do something for someone without the expectation of a return, even if itâs not materialistic, like simply hoping someone will live a happy life.
How we go from there to define the fine branches of love, dunno. But honestly we canât just call everything love, it gets too confusing. Need more labels!
how about if you stay together and are happy being together, youâre in love.
there still seems to be something missing there.
Two sisters who never marry can live together, be happy together, and love each other, but theyâre still not in love.
I would use romance in the definition, but that seems like begging the question.
Iâm a philosopher after all.
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The greeks had a bunch of different words for different kinds of love.
Two of them: eros is the love of desire. Agape is the love of giving or charity.
Real love involves elements of both eros and agape.
Eros might include sexual (or erotic!) desire in a marriage.
For a parentâs love for their child, it might include a desire for hugging, or to spend time with them. But it will probably be more dominated by agape than love for a spouse.
love means bragging all over social media about finding your soulmate.
Sanskrit has 96 words meaning âloveâ.
Infatuation is not something that happens to everyone. On the other hand, it is the most powerful feeling I have ever felt. There are pros and cons to it. I would describe it as âHollywood Loveâ, as that level is impossible to sustain for the movie couple after the movie ends. One might say there are stages of love between 2 people. Another person might look for the serial infatuation route. Or you donât look for infatuation; rather it finds you.
This is very complex shit. We donât know exactly how another person feels.