At first I thought this was a story from the Onion.
But its 100% true.
not really the action. the stated wonderment really made the headline for me
Do you have what it takes?
When in Florida, be like Florida Man?
https://www.yahoo.com/news/drunk-tourist-sexually-molests-manatee-211347939.html?guccounter=1
Are manatee statues protected the same as manatees?
Thanks for that, now I know what a gator nugget is.
Thankfully we had a good guy with a gun to stop the bad one. All families should be armed to defend themselves against one another.
It’s not Florida, by my wife spent Christmas with her family in Alabama.
After hearing about some of the holiday season drama she’s going through…I did have Amazon ship her an emergency supply of hand grenades.
Amazon link
Getting some hand grenades, too.
I’ve been to a Subway in Stuart, Florida. Maybe that one… not sure. 
What was he arrested for? Assault? I guess that would be reasonable.
It’s in the headline – he was charged with battery.
(Assault = wrongfully causing someone to fear being harmed.
Battery = wrongfully applying physical force against someone.
Apparently sandwich artists aren’t afraid of being harmed by their creations.)
So it is
If it was a meatball sub the charge will be battery with a deadly weapon.
I’m thinking a bit of crispy bacon at just the right angle might cause a nasty gash.
Definitely…meatball plus bacon would be a weapon of mass destruction.