does that actually happen? i’d imagine that something about being a trans woman makes a person not attracted to her. if just knowing she’s trans is what turns off the part of the brain that makes a person attracted, i still am not sure that’s transphobic.
My grandparents were incredibly racist and pretty horrible people to be around.
Glad I don’t have to deal with them through all this.
They definitely would have been the worst over these past years
Yeah, attraction is weird, and I’m never willing to call someone 100% transphobic because they won’t date a trans woman, though it can be a red flag.
As far as it happening, it does, though what percentage I can’t say. I’m very happy I don’t have to worry about the dating scene, because it’s incredibly dangerous to have to tell a partner you are trans – a fair bit of the violence against trans women is the “trans panic” type.
In theory yes. A lot of it comes from self indoctrination. A lot of people (okay, gay people) post in dating platforms no fat, fem, asian, or black back in the day. Nowadays, you’d get incinerated if you posted something that like.
If you had asked me 20 years ago if I’d date a drag queen, my answer would 1000% be absolutely not. Now my answer would be 100% yes, if the connection is there (thanks RuPaul), because drag is now everywhere, and my preconceptions of drag queens have been flipped, turned, and destroyed.
There’s not going to be a lot of exposure to trans people for the average person, so that self indoctrinated “no trans” has very little opportunity to rid itself.
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Here’s a Pew article on political attitudes by generation. It covers a lot of ground.
Would you say that you are more aligned with the Boomers, or with the Silent?
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Consider the categories acceptable destructive, or egregiously destructive. Any action can be fall under all three of those categories depending on the individual or social group (subset of society). Now consider the categories individual private, individual public, social private, or social public keeping in mind the social here is a social group subset of society. Any action can be rated differently based on which category it involves. As I said previously social norms for all of society will exclude someone. (Cannibals don’t like the anti-cannibalism laws.) If we consider the equality of humans as a guiding principle of our society we should have social norms that reflect that equality. (Even the cannibals can eat their meat under the right circumstances.)
Part two who gets to decide? Short answer: We all do. Long answer: Authoritarians prefer a single decider, or small group of deciders to pick and choose what is acceptable. Many subgroups within society choose this method. There is nothing wrong with this form of authoritarianism as long as all members of the group and all people affected by the group’s actions have given their consent willingly. Societies, or social groups within societies without an overt leadership structure are prone to leadership rising organically, being assigned, or being artificially created. If we consider liberty as a guiding principle of our society any individual can choose how they consider an action or which group or leader to follow as long as that choice does not impede the equality of another.
I’m saying that a lot of people say “It’s all the fault of the boomers”, but it doesn’t make any sense to slice the data that way. People 30-45 voted only a little more D than those 45-65, who were only a little more D than those over 65. The only generation that really stands out (as anything other than a gradual decline to the right with age) is those 18-30, who voted much more heavily Democratic.
And men voted for Trump a lot more than women did. The sex difference is a lot bigger than the boomer/millenial difference. And the rural/urban difference is large, and the race difference is large, and the education difference is large, too. A lot of analysis has pointed out that the Democrats have lost blue collar white men, who used to vote heavily Democratic.
It makes a lot more sense to blame “white men” than to blame “boomers”. And it doesn’t make any sense at all to suggest that the boomers messed everything up and the silent generation didn’t.
why would it be that people in the LBGT community would be more exposed to trans people than people in the straight community, such as a trans man who wants to date women?
Whoa whoa whoa whoa /s
i meant blame people alive right now then, not just boomers.
this craziness of the republican party wasn’t a thing when my grandparents were alive. nixon resigned, didn’t incite an insurrection at the capitol.
i shouldn’t have specifically said “boomers” because that’s not really what I meant. white people my age who I grew up with are gen x and they heavily support trump. they are just as bad or worse than the boomers. they are also anti-vax.
You could argue it builds on itself, just like how Rome didn’t go from being a happy democratic paradise to an authoritarian empire in one generation.
Because people gather into like-minded groups, and there’s a lot of overlap between where trans people gather and where LBG people gather.
Huh. I’m sure you see a broader slice of the gay/trans community than I do, but that’s not been my experience. I know a couple of transmen who are popular leaders in their gay communities, and several AFAB non-binary/on T/mostly-using-male-pronouns people who seem to be pretty well accepted in the LGBT circles I travel in.
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That’s awesome to hear! I don’t actually know many trans-masc IRL, just in the online communities and there is a lot of complaints about how they feel invisible in both the trans* and gay communities.
I’m sure you can guess why. Why do you think T is included in LBGT
I meant to leave out the “T” in that acronym.
Don’t entirely get why trans would be lumped in with those others which are about sexual orientation, not gender identity.
People in the LGBT community “come out” in baby steps.
Most gays go through a bi phase. A lot of trans people go through a “drag” phase, or gay phase, and eventually “come out” again as trans. Coming out is incredibly difficult. Coming out twice is even harder.
ah i guess a lot of trans people are attracted to people of the same assigned sex so that makes sense.
I don’t have a lot of openly trans or non-binary people in my circle of acquaintances, but I did formerly work with a trans-woman who was attracted to men.
I’m getting the sense that this is less common than trans-women attracted to women, but be that as it may, this is the situation of this particular person.
So before she transitioned, (s)he dated gay men. Because, for the most part, those are the male-bodied people who date other male-bodied people.
But I think a big part of it was that, living as a gay man he was attracted to straight men, and wanted to be what straight men found attractive, and be in a straight relationship with a man. We didn’t have long in-depth conversations, but both before and after transition she told me that she was a straight woman, not a gay man.
Anyway, she was frustrated that straight men didn’t want to date her. And gay men didn’t either, although I don’t think that bothered her as much because she wanted a straight man. But basically her only options were within the trans community, which wasn’t what she wanted.
This was a long time ago, pre-social media. I’ve long since lost touch with this person. I wonder if she’s found happiness.
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A lot of trans women seem to be bi in my experience. (The dating pool is pretty narrow as it is!) Only lesbian or straight only trans women seem about equally likely in my experience, but I think that is again because most of my support has been online, which likely skews lesbian. I expect straight trans women are more common overall.
Again, I’m glad I don’t have to figure it out that much. Figuring out my gender has been enough stress for this lifetime! 