Does anybody else find the words “transphobia” and “homophobia” to be stupid words.
a phobia is defined as an extreme or irrational fear of something (i.e. spiders, heights). I’m sure we can find a couple of unique cases of people afraid of transexuals and homosexuals, but what’s up with these mixed up compound words??? I think those words are clunky and inaccurate.
We don’t have a word “racephobia”
We don’t have a word “sexphobia”
We don’t have a word “agephobia”
We don’t have a word “malephobia”
We don’t have a word “femalephobia”
I think you get my point. I don’t like either word. I don’t find them to be accurate descriptors. I think they should be re-written with useful sub-words.
I have mixed feelings on that. I think that a fair amount of anti-trans sentiment actually is driven by fear/discomfort, especially among people who are somewhat new to the idea.
Not usually, but maybe sometimes, for example if you are gay.
I think it’s tough to know how much of our sexual attraction is shaped by our culture. Some people are attracted to those of the same sex, despite enormous social forces. So it seems like some people must be heterosexual to the same degree.
But would many more of us have broader sexual tastes in a different culture? This seems very likely. And would those wider appetites include more kinds of sexual and/or gender cues? Maybe, I suppose. And perhaps that does reflect some kind of homophobia or transphobia.
I suspect a lot of men would struggle not to think about their masculinity differently after sleeping with a trans post op woman who was essentially indistinguishable from a cis woman without a medical exam. This probably reflect transphobia, even if it is partially rooted in more basic urges that are biologically determined.
No, it makes them a straight man. But not wanting to sleep with a trans woman because that “would make me gay” makes him more likely to be homophobic and transphobic. I’m not sure why it’s so hard to understand.
Also please try to remember that these types of articles only capture the general public’s attention once in a while, but there is a never-ending stream of anti-trans rhetoric. Texas passed an anti-trans sports law this week. A comic launched another anti-trans tirade just weeks after spending a large part of a Netflix special mocking trans people. 2021 has been the worst year in history for transgender people being murdered just for being trans – heading well towards 50 in the US alone (most of them trans women or trans femmes of color). When we lash out on these things, it’s because there have been 50 or 100 slights we stayed silent on, just accepting the slights that are just a part of our daily lives.
For many people, the feeling is indeed a visceral fear, or perhaps a sense of disgust.
There’s no lack of examples of straight guys gagging when they realized the “girl” they were clearly attracted to and made out with turned out to be a “guy”. It’s not just a preferential response.
And plenty of straight guys get chills when gay guys try to hit on them. There is genuine discomfort and fear.
I’m suspicious that there’s something closeted going on there and maybe it’s more self directed anger, or I dunno, something twisted going on in their head.
Back up one step, and you gotta wonder why people are even thinking about something like that. Like, they sit around thinking, what if that guy had sex with me, omg that would be horrible and nasty and now I’m angry. Damn you for being in my imaginary distasteful sex scenario.
I feel that if you’re well adjusted, that you wouldn’t spend a lot of time pondering the details of what other folks are doing or having an opinion on it.
Discomfort about what? You spent time thinking about having sex with people who make you uncomfortable?
Not attacking you, I’m just saying, We don’t have to change our comfort levels. We can just not spend time considering it.
That’s a good question. No, it certainly wasn’t sexual, as that wouldn’t even have crossed my mind at the time.
I think that’s why the word phobia is apt, because the discomfort comes from within, but certainly has to do with your upbringing and environment.
I think ultimately it boils down to what you are used to seeing. I know when I first came out to my mom, she told me to not turn into one of those flamboyant gays. That was certainly homophobic, and not rooted in anything sexual.
I think there’s some of that. But I’ve also noticed a strong correlation between men who are homophobic and men who make me uncomfortable, as a woman. I think there’s often an element of, “oh my god, that man thinks about me the way i think about women. He might act towards me the way i act towards women.”
I’m not sure that discomfort and fear should be lumped in together.
I am a straight ciswoman, but if a straight cis-man that I’m not interested in (for any of a thousand different possible reasons) hits on me it makes me uncomfortable. But not because I’m afraid (usually)… just because it’s awkward and uncomfortable when someone is attracted to you and you aren’t attracted back.
I don’t see why it’s any different if you get unwanted attention from someone who is not your preferred sex / gender / sexuality / expression than when you get unwanted attention from someone who is.
I’m not remotely trying to say that homophobia and transphobia don’t exist… they absolutely do. I’m just saying that
I don’t think it’s fair to lump discomfort in with fear.
Discomfort and hate are pretty different. Yes, a lot of hatred is probably rooted in discomfort, but the two shouldn’t be conflated, especially in the extremely narrow context of being hit on by someone who you are not attracted to.
i’m not sure that’s a good comparison. it’s far easier to reject someone for not being your desired gender than to reject them because although they are your desired gender, you don’t find them attractive. the former isn’t really going to hurt anyone’s feelings, whereas the latter might.
If we’re calling it transphobic to reject someone who is a person’s preferred gender identity but not their preferred body then I would say that feelings are absolutely getting hurt.
i was thinking in terms of a lesbian hitting on you where they should target lesbians, not straight women. i don’t see why they would be offended if a straight woman is not interested. i’m not going to get offended if a gay guy doesn’t want to have sex with me either.
but if you meant a trans man hitting on you, i’m not sure.
Perhaps. Sometimes it’s easy to conflate the two. I think it ultimately boils down to exposure, and humans’ innate fear of “freaks” (to put bluntly).
A man who dresses as a woman, a woman who shaves her head, a man who has a woman’s voice, a person that has tattoo on their face, a person with neon pink hair, a person who has a different skin color from you, a man who behaves (sexually or not) different from what you’d expect…can all engender fear, depending on the level of exposure you have with that type of person.
Racism can definitely be a result of fear (of the unfamiliar) and not of hatred, as can anti-LGBT mentalities.
The hard part of that is that there is no glowing sign over someone to let you know if they are a lesbian/gay or straight. Sometimes a lesbian is going to hit on a straight woman, or a gay guy will hit on a straight man. Unfortunately, that second one can often lead to violence, and that’s where the homophobia comes in.
Saying no to someone isn’t *phobic — that’s just a premise made up by the BBC and the hate group that did this survey. Murdering them or beating them up because they hit on you and they are trans or gay — yeah, that’s hate. The second one happens regularly.
Again, if the article instead read “KKK group runs survey that finds black men intimidate white women into having sex” would people (other than FoxNews trolls) take it seriously? No. But a TERF hate group makes up stuff about trans people, and all of a sudden it’s “look what those crazy trans people think”.