I’d put this in the “Funny but NSFW” thread except … it is a work story so… I guess I’m putting it here. The lingo where I work has me scratching my head sometimes.
Background: One of my coworkers is Dick. Dick works odd hours, so we have a box where we put items that require Dick’s attention. In other words: Dick’s stuff goes in the Dick box. (Yes, that’s what we call it.)
The guy who’s effectively in charge also says we’re “doing” a client meaning we’re working on the client’s stuff. And we tend to refer to our clients by the name of our contact person at the client. So it is not unusual to hear something along the lines of “Has Bill been doing Tom? Or should we have Dick do Tom this time? Ok, put Tom in the Dick box.”
Ann is currently in the Dick box, and she’s really raring to go… doesn’t want to wait for Dick. And I’ve done Ann before. Several times. In fact I’ve been doing Ann for years so it just makes sense for me to go on doing her.
And even though I’m behind on other stuff, Ann is easy so I should be able to do her quickly.
So now that I’m doing Ann, who should Dick do instead? They could have Dick do Tom but they’re worried he’s going to blow it. So Tom is not yet in the dick box. They’re discussing whether Dick is going to blow Tom or not.
I swear, I am not even slightly exaggerating. And all said with a straight face too… I appear to be the only one who sees anything weird with this conversation.
I feel like there’s something wrong with me when I am the only one who sees it but like… it’s not just me, right? Tell me I’m not the only one who sees innuendo in this conversation… please!
In the meantime I’m doing Ann… who is not quite as easy as she used to be.
During the second inning of the Phillies game in Los Angeles against the Dodgers Monday night, Stocker began reading a promo for an upcoming Dick Allen bobblehead giveaway at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia.
“All fans, 15 and over, will receive a Johnson Controls D*ckhead,” Whoops. Stocker immediately recognized the spoonerism and attempted to finish reading the promo after regaining his composure. “Dick. Allen. Bobble. Figurine,” Stocker said with added caution.
I’m watching a bit of Band of Brothers on this Memorial day. It’s weird seeing Ron Livingston from Office Space and David Schwimmer from Friends working together in serious roles.
Both a Happy Thought and an Annoyed Thought in one, figure it averages out to just Random: spent $520 on teacher gifts, wedding gifts, and cards today. Lots of stuff coming at us all at once, and it’s expensive!!
I got $100 gift cards for each of the two weddings. It’s less than I normally give, but I also made each of them a quilt that cost not less than $150 each*, and I contributed $50 to the couple I’m closer to for an office gift card as well. I hope they don’t think I’m cheap!
*I would never give just a quilt as a wedding gift unless it was requested AS the gift. Not everyone wants a quilt, so I always give another gift along with it, either from the registry or as cash/equivalent. But probably not as much as I would give if I didn’t make the quilt. Have not decided yet if this is the right call. Should I just give the full amount I would normally give and not consider the cost of the quilt? Idk. I will say that I only gift quilts to people who have shown an admiration in the past, so it’s not totally out of the blue. And for both of these weddings, I gave them both a heads up and asked for approvals on the colors before committing. So it feels ok in this situation…
It’s something that is discussed enough, so it must be a valid concern that people have, but I don’t understand the “did I give enough” thing. As a recipient, I’ve never thought, “Joe only gave a $100 gift card. He should have given me $250! Jerk!”. I think, “Joe gave me a $100 gift card. Awesome!”
Then again, I’ve never been to a wedding that cost a lot per head. The weddings of my friends and family have always been pretty low-key.
Then again again, isn’t it usually the parents that are spending the $ per head and the bride & groom receiving the gifts? So it’s not a “payback”, it’s “the parents gave a ton of money, and the guests give some more”.
Anyway, I probably just don’t know what I’m talking about.
I know the b&g paid for the wedding in one case. I’m not sure about the other, but one is in her 30’s and the other is in her mid-late 20’s, both actuaries, so I’d expect the parents didn’t pay for the full cost. Both invites came from the couple rather than the parents, and it’s customary when the parents pay for the invite to say “m and m so and so cordially invite you to the wedding of their son/daughter…”
$100 plus a homemade quit is very generous, particularly if one or both halves of the couple had expressed admiration for your quits previously. I would not feel bad about that at all.
