Corrupt a Wish

The Sandbox General
121

Granted. The fool you carried though your last project is promoted to be your boss.

I wish I were more motivated.

122

wish granted, you are motivated to make money by any means possible - your sugar daddy comes to visit you every other night

I wish it were March 31st again (bonus szn :money_mouth_face:)

123

Granted, it is now March 31st 1889. Today the Eiffel Tower opens.

I wish the Cubs World Series drought didn’t end.

124

Granted. The Cubs have won the WS at least once every 6 years since 1908. The drought never started and Cubs fans as more obnoxious than Yankees fans. :face_vomiting:

I wish my sugar daddy paid better.

125

Granted. But he pays you in the crypto-currency created by a third world nation, and it’s all embezzeled by the dictator.

I wish I owned a Porsche 911.

126

Granted, you now have a mint in package Matchbox Porsche 911.

I wish I weighed 100 lbs less.

128

Wish Granted. You lost 100 lbs of bones, you are now a massive pile of skin.

I wish my boss would log off early so I can scram

129

Granted. He’s due to arrive in 10 minutes for a face-to-face meeting . . .

I wish I was back in Colorado.

130

Granted, enjoy your time in Colorado City, Arizona an infamous refuge for polygamists.

I wish Diet Dr Pepper would bring back the cherry flavor. This zero sugar blend isn’t as good.

1 Like
131

Granted, but they announce they’re also discontinuing it permanently after they do a final limited run and only selling it in Texas and now you have to decide between filling your garage with as much as you can find from people selling it online or just drinking the zero sugar blend.

I wish that all standalone Starbucks had drive thrus, I hate going inside.

132

Granted. To speed things up they now only serve Chock Full O’nuts coffee in the drive thru.

I wish I could flip my golf and bowling scores.

1 Like
133

Granted. They are both 100 now.

I wish my current leg injury would heal immediately

1 Like
134

I wish I had a detachable belly and the ability to scrub out all my belly and visceral fat with just Dawn and water.

135

Yes! That’s an improvement for both!

136

Wish granted. Unfortunately you also wash out all the good gut flora from your intestines and now you produce uncontrollable diarrhea in your pants three times a day. But hey you look trim, sickly trim

I wish the SOA would stop making it easier to earn FSA credentials

137

Wish granted. The doctors cut your legs off and attached monkey legs in their place. Your legs feel great but they are a bit furry. You also have to take immunosuppressant meds for life so that your immune system doesn’t reject your newly transplanted legs

I wish the restaurants I enjoyed eating at in my youth would stop going out of business

138

Granted. Actuaries are now obsolete and no future credentials will be issued

Granted. You now need to eat at Howard Johnson’s every meal to keep them afloat.

I wish posters in Corrupt a Wish would follow the format.

2 Likes
139

Granted. But from now on, you have to change my diarrhea pants every time someone doesn’t.

I wish my teeth were self-cleaning.

140

Granted. But with the new feature they don’t fit in your mouth anymore and cost 6k a year to operate.

I wish I wasn’t so tired.

141

Granted. You fell into a coma for 5 years.

I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Weiner.

1 Like