Corrupt a Wish

Been missing this thread.

I wish we could hurry up and get vaccinated.

Wish granted, you’re now 80 years old and in the front of the vaccine line!

Wish I could play golf at Pebble Beach this year.


Wish granted: Your tee time is scheduled for 8:00 tomorrow morning.

I wish I had a nice steak dinner

Wish granted. The steak is well done.

I wish my body fat was 5%

Granted. Now your head fat is around 80%.

I wish people would listen to me on GoA.

Wish granted. GoA posts are now read aloud using your voice.

I wish it was safe to go on vacation.

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Wish granted. You are now on vacation where it is nice and warm, but you are in Somalia and your AirBnB is moments from being surrounded by hostile insurgents

I wish DW Simpson would restore AO to its former glory

Wish granted the AO has been restored to it’s glorious status as of last week.

I wish there wasn’t 3 inches of snow on the ground.

Wish granted, there’s now 23 inches of snow on the ground.

I wish I didn’t have a doctor’s appointment this morning.

Granted. It was yesterday and you’re getting charged for the missed appointment.

I wish I could fly like Superman.

Granted. You can now fly with a cable on your back in a studio.

I wish I put $1000 in bitcoin back in 2009.

Granted. But the interface you used was actually part of a scammer group . . . so . . . now you know where that money went.

I wish I had a million bucks.

Granted. They now roam freely inside your house.

I wish I wasn’t in a 6 am meeting right now

Granted. You now work the 6 AM shift at McDonalds where there are no meetings but you make minimum wage. Get to work on those Egg McMuffins!!!

Oops, forgot to add a wish.

I wish my yard was in better shape.

Granted. Your yard is now shaped 36-24-36.

I wish I had some McGriddles right now!


Granted. But the person filling your order has dyslexia and you got a box of McDonalds-themed corsets.

I wish I had some more coffee brought to me.

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Granted. Here’s a Venti decaf.

I wish I had 20-20 vision.

Granted. From now on you can only see Barbara Walters.

I wish my son would do his homework.

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Granted. Now his room is clean, the dishes are washed, the yard is free of animal debris.

I wish I could travel with my family for a great vacation.