Alyssa's FAQ

I received my confirmation of permanent residency from the Canadian government today, with the invitation to send my passport to them in the mail to have the visa issued. It sounds like the visa will expire in January 2024 (one year after the medical date), so early next year will be the move date most likely.

Hit with so many emotions. Obviously happy and excited to be starting the next chapter, but also very sad and angry it came to this.


Bike and walking friendly city. Skating on the Rideau canal. Gatineau mountains right there for skiing. Walkable and beautiful.downtown. a whole week of ice sculptures.wilderness at your doorstep.a variety of galleries. Canada day on parliament hill. St Lawrence river within driving distance as is Montreal.
It’s gonna be great!
Oh, and the Scotiabank marathon in may is huge. You might even see me there some may. I’m at the back.


Got some surprising news last week when at the game convention.

My facial surgeon had a cancellation, so instead of November 22 for my surgery date, it might be Wednesday. As in two days from now. The last obvious hurdle was getting insurance clearance, which came in today, so it’s pretty likely at this point.


:tup: That is a hell of a big change of date.

Well, it fell apart at the last possible minute. Looking like July now due to other movements/cancellations.


Bummer, but July is still way better than November.

In some good news, I’ll be a speaker at the Insure Equality summit in September in Chicago talking about trans rights and inclusion in the insurance industry. If you are interesting in going, DM me and I can give out a discount code. (Or I can post if it the mods are ok with that here)


:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

I was going to reply and ask if you were misgendering her and “he” was just a trans male in transition.

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Thankfully, no. She later joined a discord channel I’m on and set her pronouns to her/they. So in my ignorance I got it right.


FTR, I know this isn’t the common usage and I don’t know how the LGBTQ community feels at large about it, but I know an AFAB person who identifies as trans-nonbinary. They transitioned into “not female”. They still dress somewhat female or androgynous depending on what they want, I’ve never seen them in “solidly male clothes”. It’s their identifier so I figure whatever.

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The only requirement to be trans is to say you are. It doesn’t require medical treatment, social transition, or anything else. (There is a minority of trans people called trans medicalists that would disagree, but those people are wrong :wink: )


Very true. I just always associate nonbinary with being trans so it confused me first time I saw it. I guess they’re being very specific is all, like it’s less necessary than me being “cis X”. But if it makes them happy.

Some non-binary people choose not to identify as trans, which is up to them. I think its especially true for agender folks or people that are closer to that identification, but not always.

One week to go until my FFS, which means I full into the ‘what if I’m wrong and make things worse’ self doubt period that has come with the other 2 major surgeries so far. With the news of the 3 illegitimate court rulings last week, it’s been a rough go mentally, but just have to get through 7 more sleeps and 3 work days to get to this last surgery, then I can focus on getting ready to move (and take an actuarial exam for the first time in 12 years).


As long as you don’t get Madonna’s surgeon you’ll be fine.

Try to find out who Bernadette Peters used. Whoever it was, was worth every penny.

Is self-study not sufficient?? :frowning:

No, gonna need 6C probably.


Surgery went well, other than the fact that I slept for 4 hours after anesthesia instead of the expected 30-45 minutes, and ended up staying over night instead of outpatient. For those that are curious the spoiler is all the individual procedures I had — it was a long surgery.


Hairline lowering, forehead reduction, brow lift, eyelid lift, rhinoplasty, jaw reduction, chin reduction (genioplasty), and face lift

I came home Wednesday afternoon, and was just in a daze. Sleep was impossible because my nose was so congested. I basically woke up every 20 minutes to take a drink to rehydrate my mouth because it was so dry.

Thursday and Friday were really, really hard days. Swelling was severely, bruising was extensive, and I was just never comfortable even with the pain meds. Sleep was still really hard, and for bonus the oxycontin gave me awful nightmares. Those two days were easily the worst two recovery days from any of my surgeries.

Saturday was a much better day. Congestion cleared, swelling was like 70% of maximum, and bruising was way down. I stayed off the oxycontin all day too.

Sunday so far continues to be better. I had pasta — first thing that wasn’t liquid or very soft (mashed potatoes, jello, yogurt) for lunch, and that was nice.

I’m going to have the nose cast removed tomorrow, and I’m logging on for a light day of emails/work tomorrow afternoon and will hopefully be able to get back into the swing of things slowly this week. Not sure when I’ll go back to the office yet, I’m going to wait until I’m mostly healed up and ready to do that.


That’s the tech end of it. How’s the family? How are you feeling?