Recovery isn’t linear, and the last two days have been pretty rough. I’m back on the oxycodone for a bit. I’m really restless, but I can’t spend more than about 10 minutes standing or I’m really sore for a while. I still can’t sleep lying flat on my back, so still on the couch, but if I sleep wrong I get pins and needles in my right leg and it’s a pretty narrow range of area where the surgical site doesn’t hurt and my right leg isn’t angry.
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Other than driving and sleeping on my side, I’m pretty much 100% recovered physically at this point, and those are both very manageable.
It’s been a very emotional and difficult week. It’s the Trans Week of Visibility and Action, so I’ve been posting daily on LinkedIn which is draining for me to be so open. I was also incredibly hurt by the CAS announcement that they are putting another meeting in Florida, and have been working against that all week as well. Add in the toll of the story around the Nashville shooting and the right wing reaction to it. I had to vote in my kid’s school Tuesday morning, and there were a gaggle of cops that made it incredibly stressful and uncomfortable.
On the positive front, my kids Canadian citizenship was confirmed, so we should be getting those certificate soon, which is one step closer to leaving the US hell hole behind.
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Also, in what is an uncharacteristic act of optimism, I made the assumption that Aetna will stop being douchecanoes and approve my gender affirming facial surgery as required by MA law, and got bangs to help hide the scarring that will be there for a little while, and now I’m mad that I haven’t done that before.
Finally, the costs of the bottom surgery got finalized, and boy, do I hate the American healthcare system more and more each month. For a 3 hour surgery and a total of 30 hours in the hospital total…
The hospital billed a total of $48,945 ($28k for hospital, $18k for surgeons, $3k for other staff), insurance cut it to $36,161, of which they paid $30,179. I owe $5,982.
Craziness.
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Do you have a link to that law, or any resources on it? If Aetna does approve it, I’d be interested in knowing. I’ve got a friend looking to get that procedure done but it isn’t covered where she lives and cost prohibitive for her (~$15K was what she was quoted), so if it is covered in another state and there’s a possibility of medical tourism and/or moving to get it done I’d like to let her know about that option.
I think the law only applies to MA issued insurance policies (so MA residents), but here is a link:
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I had to cancel my planned FFS because of issues with the surgeon I had chosen. I’m basically starting over from scratch, trying to find someone that would be able to get me through the process in time before I move. Hopefully it can still happen, but we’ll see.
I’m pretty crushed today though. It was so damn close.
That must be really rough.
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If anyone is going to be at the Spring Meeting in Boston next week, find me and say hi! I’m the 6’2" woman with pink and purple hair, I should be easy to spot among actuaries. 
I’ve been able to find a new facial surgeon, have 2 appointments with him, get some morphed photos of some of the options of surgeries I was considering, and I’m likely to be able to have surgery in November assuming things go well with insurance. It’s annoying that I wasted so much time with an office that was so inefficient, but I’m pleased I seem to be back on track.
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Oh, for those of you that don’t follow me on LinkedIn – I’ll be covering up the CAS logo on my badge with medical tape as a show of disgust at their putting the CLRS in Florida. I’ll have the roll of medical tape in my purse, so if you want to join me in that, just find me and ask.
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The conference went well (other than an anxiety attack mid way through Tuesday, but I was able to pull it together for the reception/dinner). I had a nice conversation with Victor Carter-Bey, and while it was a good conversation and I think he heard the concerns, ultimately they aren’t going to do anything about the continued string of CLRS meetings I can’t safely attend.
I’m considering my next steps there, but it’ll likely be outside the actuarial community.
Have you considered a career in retail? Big money, lots of freedoms!
Not talking about new careers, but other steps I can take.
What is the goal you want to take steps towards?
It was half in jest. Actuaries won’t do retail, despite the expertise and better benefits.
Right now, ending the practice of bringing tourism dollars to states actively running a genocide. Failing that, ending the CAS/AAA regulatory stranglehold on who gets to provide actuarial services so other organizations that are not hell bent on funding fascism can pop up.
That second one seems hard though, so focusing on the first for now.
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It’s a noble goal but remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s also a problem that’s not going to get resolved quickly, so take care of yourself first.
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I’m kinda boycotting travel to Florida, but i travel so little it is not much of a boycott, even in an individual level. I will be interested in what you do going forward.
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I spent a day last week with someone. We were sitting around after supper at my place and she mentioned that she was trans.
I didn’t say anything, but I’m sitting there thinking…if she’s trans, then why is she wearing female clothes? I know I’m ignorant, but shoot, I don’t want people to have to wear and appear in a manner they’re uncomfortable with. That much I know.
Much much later…Ooooooh. eff me I’m stupid.
I guess I passed though. I picked her up in a public place though but she directed me to drop her off at her house.
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More like she passed…
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I nearly wrote that. 