Alyssa's FAQ

I do! Today is actually the 2nd anniversary of my starting estrogen, and so it’s definitely a day of celebration akin to my birthday. And while there is bad and I talk about that so people are aware of what we deal with, the positive changes in my life are immeasurable. Beyond the obvious physical changes, the just sense of rightness and peace that comes with not living under a 24/7/365 cloud of dysphoria and inauthenticity outweighs that by a lot.

With my 2 surgical consults, my ID.4 in the US can coming soon, and potentially a new hair color soon, it’s going to be a fun few weeks for me!


Made it through the GCS consultation today.

The good news: I’m near the top of the scheduling list, and they are knocking off 2-3 of my type of surgery a month, so I should be able to schedule my surgery pretty soon.

The not so good news: I have a minor medical complication that I’ll have to get taken care of, then wait about 6 weeks to be able to have my GCS surgery, so my hope of sneaking it in before the first part of year end is dashed.

However, the recovery time for the surgery I’m having is only 2-3 weeks, so I might be able to get it in during December. We’ll see how it goes.


I’m going to wait until after the elections to make the final call, but this situation with Boston Children’s as really cemented in my head that the United States is no longer safe for me to live it without immediate federal legislative action on election protections, transgender rights, and social media stochastic terrorism. If the Democrats don’t get the majorities in both houses to make that happen (seems unlikely based on polling right now), I don’t see how we stay.

You have a good place to go. Even if the Democrats win, even if they pass federal laws to protect trans people (not a given) they really can’t stop terrorism. That’s the power of terrorism, a small number of people can wield a lot of power if they don’t mind a lot of collateral damage.

Make your plans to leave.

If it was just me, I’d be gone. But our local schools support my son’s IEP and allergies really well, and I’m hesitant to disrupt my kids friendships unless I have to. I’m doing the research and getting ready, but if there is a chance it can be pulled back from the brink, I’m going to give it a chance to do it. But if the Senate is 50/50, I’m not counting on Manchin or Sinema. Looking at a 52/48 Senate plus a non-razor thin house majority to stay I think.


Surgical consult went well — it’s actually going to be two separate surgeries 6-8 weeks apart, one for the brow and nose, the other for the jaw. No date scheduled yet, but hopefully soon.


Not trans stuff, but a girl loves a new car

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I’ve applied for Canadian permanent residency, and today is the kids first day of school, and it’s hitting me really hard that this is likely their last first day at this school, and it’s because of me. Barely hanging on here at work.


Hi all –

It’s been a really bad two weeks, but I think I’ve weathered the worst of it. Next Thursday I get to have the surgery to fix my issue that is preventing GCS, so I should be ok for my early March timeline for that if all goes well.

Insurance covered the FFS initial consult, so that is a hopeful sign that they aren’t going to mess around with me on the final approval, but I’ll believe that for sure when it’s official.

As you may have seen in the P&C section, I’m starting to plan ahead for next steps if I can’t keep my current position while in Canada, and that looks like it means taking 6C next spring. I can’t say I relish the thought of taking another actuarial exam at 46 years old, but c’est ça qui est ça.

hopefully 6C is not as boring. US certainly has more regulations, methinks?

The free PDF is 2800 pages.

dream bigger!

Last I looked at the Canadian version, they had to learn as many Canadian regs as we needed US regs, plus they had to learn a lot of US regs. It was a beast of an exam.

As those of you that follow me on Twitter know, I was overly optimistic about the “being past the worst of it”. I’m hanging on and I’m grateful that I’m not going through life convincing myself every morning that that day was worth living through, but it’s really hard right now and I’d love for some of the things causing stress to start lifting.

Surgery tomorrow to fix my minor issue that is preventing the final scheduling of GCS, so maybe I’ll have that date in a few weeks and it’ll help.

I did get some good news today – I’ll have a CAS Roundtable blog posted sometime in early October.


Best wishes.

Apparently been a few weeks, so here’s an update:


  • Surgery was successful and no lingering issues
  • PR application officially in the hands of the Canadian government
  • Some lingering personal issues resolved favorably
  • I haven’t shaved most of my face in 2 weeks (just upper lip and neck still have enough growth to require shaves between treatments


  • Worst dysphoric episode since transition. The last 3 weeks have been pure hell.
  • GA surgeries still aren’t scheduled, and the offices aren’t even responding to my questions right now.
  • Leadership at company pushing ‘return to office’ nonsense, making continuous employment after the move feel less likely

I wrote a post for the CAS Roundtable blog that was published today:

  • GA surgeries still aren’t scheduled, and the offices aren’t even responding to my questions right now.

Update: GCS is on track for end of February — they just schedule closer to the date than most other hospitals doing this. Several trans friends having surgery in the same time frame have known their dates for weeks, but I’m supposed to hear around the end of December.

Facial surgery is on hold indefinitely because the hospital I’m using can’t schedule anymore this year. :frowning:

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It’s been a long time since I posted here – sorry about that. It’s been a rough couple of months, but in the next couple of weeks I should have a GCS date, and that will perk me up I’m sure. I just got back from Pax Unplugged in Philly, and that was phenomenal. Philly will forever have a place in my heart, and convention was very well run and everyone was so welcoming. Already planning my 2023 Pax U trip.


It finally happened! 3 hours apart I got a date for GCS (2/28) and first stage FFS (4/14)!

After all the self doubt and all the worrying, I get to actually see a person in the mirror that feels like me and only me in a few months!