My BFF wears the same size of pants that he did in HS. Has all of his hair. Slight grey, but all the right kind to make him look dashing. He’s still instantly recognizable from his HS pictures. Oh, and he’s uber rich. And a nice guy. Geez.
I don’t want to lose this deal? 
Got my headphones on listening to some music at Indigo. Chinese girl sitting next to me points at her laptop and mouths the words “I’ll be back in a bit”. Don’t worry: Daddy gonna take reeeeeeal good care of stuff!!! 
The barista was shaking up a can of whipped cream when she saw me and said, “Hi, (real name)!”. And my gf was standing next to me!!! 
I was at the bank ATM this morning, but I needed some teller assistance. The teller said, “I see you have the Practical plan. Did you want to upgrade?”. 
Walking through the gym this morning, lost in thought, I almost bumped into a very shapely and pretty young woman. I said “Excuse me.” She said “No worries, you’re fine.”
What I heard was “you are so fine!”
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I was taking a leak in the bathroom of a bar, and some random dude said my piss was the longest he had ever heard.
Strange way to start a conversation.
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Were you hooked up to a microphone?
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The tech at the blood lab said “There’s a good one right there!” and he poked my inner elbow with his finger!!! 
Some girl(?) started following me on IG: “family can’t know about this hehe”. She’s a sociology student and I am supposed to hit her up on tg. She seems nice.
I had coffee with a certain GoAer earlier today. Afterward, we went to his truck, where he showed me his big, thicc, hard rototiller
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Thanks for the supplies BM. I appreciate them and will make good use of them.
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You extrovert!
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Holy NSFW content, Batman.
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