That would be an interesting story to tell your grandkids.
“When I saw her taking out the trash behind a starbucks, I knew your grandma was the one”
Go call your team “You guys!”. And make a dongle joke while you’re at it. Especially around the one with “hot” in her name.
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A distant relative was proposed to by her boyfriend at a remote quarry. He thought it would provide a dramatic backdrop - she got a bit nervous. I guess he didn’t get the memo that a quarry also provides a good place to bury bodies.
They do say romance is dead. 
I found a very distant cousin on Ancestry and sent her some info on one of her ancestors. She emailed me back with - and I quote - “Thanks! 
”
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pretty sure you and I are very, very distant cousins, and i’m definitely sure you’ve never sent me an email 
OK, fine, you and I are kissin’ cousins then!!! 
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I held the door open for a lady going into sbux and she said “Thanks!”. She had a real bounce in her step and other things, IYKWIM. 
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^^ TPIWWP ^^
share the love, man!
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Use your imagination.
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“Sunny” on Instagram wantsta send me a message:
"Hii (real name) you popped up on my screen and I thought you where kinda cute, I’m to shyyy lmao, that’s why I message you with a facke acc… can you send me a reply if you wanna see me? 
"
“She” seems nice, but her grammar and spelling need work.
And Instagram sez we can create kyoooot nicknames for each other!!! I wonder if Mr. Pudgy is taken already… 
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They called me Tubby Bitch in college, pretty sure I’ve got dibs.
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I got some dim sum at the Asian/Halal grocer. When the lady was handing me the bag, our fingertips brushed!!! 
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Two fingertips at the same time?
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ALMOST!!! 
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Was at a bar last night and a guy came up to me and asked what I was drinking.
But it turns out he thought I was one of his coworkers… which I was not!
Ah, remote work can be hilarious sometimes.
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Or that’s a great way to downplay what he was really trying.