Did you tell her “no banjo music, we’ll be fine”?
[red]Thank goodness we built that nuclear plant right next to our drinking water supply…[/dead]
[insert three-eyed-fish gif]
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That’s it!!
That is what I call a fiiish (a fish with three eyes).
Sorry.
I will let myself out.
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Not the first time, but I’ve called my cell phone from the house line to find out where I left it!!!
Oddie offered to make me a chai latte, as he often does, and I don’t know how I missed the sound of the crash, but as I went into the kitchen to give him a smooch, all I saw was chai latte - everywhere but in my cup. It was on the floor, streaming down the (white) cabinets, pouring out of drawers, you name it.
I love this man so much.
Fill in the blank with other words . . . and you can get some pretty silly double-entendre stuff . . .
I think I’ve typed this out before. years ago the local chamber of commerce decided to do a farmer’s market. I wanted to help, so I offered to set up a pie booth. My SO makes a mean apple pie. They’ll make pies, my kids will sell them and learn entrepreneurism.
Except my kids didn’t want to, and my wife responded with "I’m not effing making 100 apple pies’.
So I found a pie shop and ordered 100 pies. On the morning of, it’s raining so hard I had to pull the car off to the side and wait until I could see to drive again. Of note, I had an outside booth.
I set up. It’s cold, raining, and windy. I sell 3 pies. It’s getting late in the afternoon, and I’m struggling to figure out how I’m going to give away 97 pies.
Anyway, my SO saved the day, called the pie shop. They had run out of pies and had a lineup, so I packed the pies up and sold them back to the pie shop. Took my 3 pie profit and called it a day.
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We’re toboganing with the kids when they were young. Steep hill, all the locals go there in the winter. Junior comes over and asks if he can take the toboggan over the ‘jump’. My SO says no way, it’s dangerous.
Well, that’s my middle name. I said ‘here, I’ll show you’. Took the toboggan, sailed down the hill. Went off the jump, completely airborne, the toboggan comes out from underneath me and I landed sitting up on the second bump.
6 firefighters to get me on a stretcher and up the hill (with half the town watching it like it’s a tv show). Whaaambulance to emergency. 2 fractured vertebrae later I’m right as rain.
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tl;dr I don’t do silly stuff. But I’ve got no filter when it comes to doing stupid stuff. If it looks like it’ll make a good story for the grandkids, I’m on it.
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Was it Mount Trashmore?
[or]
“Hold my beer.”
That’s the exact number of nurses that had to hold me down after an eye operation. I was under the impression that they had removed my eye for some reason, so when the doctor wanted to open up my eye to take a look afterwards, the only reasonable thing to do was clamp my eye shut and scream bloody murder.
Not mount trashmore but similiar lol. We have a hill in the small town we’re in that the locals bring their kids to in the winter.
For the curious, Mount Trashmore is a hill near Waterloo. It used to be a landfill. Now it’s a giant hill that gets used for tobogganing. the name is appropriate.
Give out $5 gift certificates for those who will come and just take one.
I just popped into this thread and thought you were talking about your body weight for a minute and was like, damn, you need to make some lifestyle changes.
Maybe he’s training to be a professional sumo wrestler?
