The Spectacular 2024 Vinksin Vonksin GoActuary Wúnderbar NFL Full Season Pick’em Contest - now with extra cheesiness

The Sandbox Sports
41

INT. REBEL BASE - COMMUNICATION ROOM - DAY

[Yoda, Darth Vader, and Han Solo appear on a hologram transmission to the participants.]

YODA: (Apologetically) Regret to inform you, we do, that an unfortunate Excel mishap, there was. Improperly reported, some teams’ and players’ predicted records were. Sorry, we are, though sorrier, the intern is.

DARTH VADER: (Gravely) While we acknowledge the disturbance in your predictions, consider this an opportunity to refine your foresight. The challenge has only begun. The errors… are insignificant compared to the power of the Force.

HAN SOLO: (Smirking) Yeah, so some of your records got scrambled. Look, it’s not the end of the galaxy. Think of it as a chance to show just how good you really are. Besides, we gave the intern a serious talking-to. They’re shaking in their boots right now.

YODA: (Nodding) Assured, you can be, that the intern’s refresher course on spreadsheet management, thorough it was. Appreciate your understanding and patience, we do, as fun and error-free, we strive to make this season.

DARTH VADER: (Firmly) Your understanding and patience will ensure this season’s success. We are grateful.

HAN SOLO: (Grinning) So, keep your blasters ready, and may the best predictions win. We’ll make it right, one way or another.

[The hologram transmission ends with Yoda nodding thoughtfully, Darth Vader standing imposingly, and Han Solo giving a casual salute.]

3 Likes
42

You should all be rooting for me just to see how much longer 169 can keep this up!

43

I get a kick out of the fact that chatgpt knows that we can blame everything on the intern. I didn’t even need to remind/prompt it to do that.

3 Likes
44

:laughing:

Oh, that poor intern…

3 Likes
45

Tick tock :fireworks: :sparkler: :firecracker:
Get your entry in by midnight 7/4 to get three explosive COFPs.

46

HOF game coming up.

47

2nd biggest game of the year! (right behind Pro Bowl)

2 Likes
48

:gulp: Is this the year I finally killed the FSP game? It was the title, wasn’t it? Only five entrants so far. This is…sad. I should start a refer-a-friend promotion. I should probably also prepare my own entry…

1 Like
49

INT. DULL OFFICE CUBICLE - DAY

[1695814 sits at a cluttered desk, surrounded by stacks of papers and an outdated computer monitor. The fluorescent lights flicker above, casting a dreary glow. LUMBERGH, the ever-present, passive-aggressive boss, looms over him, sipping coffee from a mug labeled “World’s Best Boss.”]

LUMBERGH:
(Monotone)
Yeah, so… 1695814, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday, m’kay? And, uh, by the way, congrats on winning last year. Great job with that, really. Now you’re back for your 13th season, huh? Impressive.

[1695814 glances up from his computer screen, where he’s currently reviewing ‘The Lines’ and a spreadsheet that looks suspiciously like a TPS report.]

LUMBERGH:
(Nods)
Mmm-hmm, 1873-1233-13, a solid 60.3%. Yeah, those are good numbers… real good numbers. And I see you’re all-in on the 49ers this year. 17-0, huh? Bold move. But, uh, Patriots and Panthers at 0-17? That’s, um, well… yeah, I’m gonna need you to explain that one to HR.

[LUMBERGH takes a sip of coffee and gives 1695814 a patronizing pat on the back.]

LUMBERGH:
(Smug)
But, you know, whatever ‘The Lines’ say, right? Just make sure you file those picks correctly this time. We wouldn’t want any, uh, errors, like last time. Oh, and, uh, if you could go ahead and do it before the end of the day, that’d be great. Thanks a bunch.

[As Lumbergh walks away, MILTON peeks over the cubicle wall, mumbling something about the 49ers and his red stapler. 1695814 just sighs, knowing that ‘The Lines’ are all he needs. The scene fades out to the sound of the printer jamming in the background.]

1695814's picks

Chiefs
Eagles
Falcons
Bills
Bears
Bengals
Texans
Dolphins
Saints
Giants
Chargers
Seahawks
Buccaneers
Cowboys
Lions
49ers
Dolphins
Ravens
Chargers
Cowboys
Lions
Packers
Jaguars
49ers
Seahawks
Jets
Commanders
Rams
Chiefs
Steelers
Texans
Eagles
Jets
Browns
Colts
Texans
Eagles
Steelers
Buccaneers
Packers
Raiders
Dolphins
Lions
Cowboys
49ers
Chiefs
Bills
Bengals
Cowboys
Texans
Falcons
Bengals
Bears
Packers
Colts
Jets
Eagles
Cardinals
49ers
Chiefs
Browns
Ravens
Dolphins
Lions
Falcons
Jets
Bears
Bengals
Texans
Jaguars
Dolphins
Browns
Broncos
49ers
Rams
Seahawks
Cowboys
Chiefs
49ers
Jaguars
Ravens
Packers
Texans
Saints
Eagles
Colts
Chargers
Steelers
Falcons
Cowboys
Bengals
Jets
Saints
Jaguars
Bengals
Bills
Packers
Eagles
Falcons
Dolphins
Lions
Commanders
Rams
49ers
Jets
Ravens
Cardinals
Rams
Ravens
Lions
Texans
Packers
Dolphins
Jets
Falcons
Bears
Chargers
Bills
Bengals
Broncos
Chiefs
49ers
Steelers
Jets
Giants
Titans
Cowboys
Bills
Saints
Bengals
Vikings
Ravens
Browns
Bears
Rams
Packers
Eagles
Chiefs
Ravens
Giants
Bears
Bills
Jaguars
Chiefs
Falcons
49ers
Steelers
Chargers
Jets
Cowboys
Texans
Rams
Eagles
Bears
Lions
Dolphins
Rams
Browns
Ravens
Vikings
Falcons
49ers
Bengals
Chiefs
Jets
Cowboys
Browns
Chiefs
Dolphins
Texans
Lions
Cowboys
Buccaneers
Bears
Raiders
Seahawks
49ers
Rams
Ravens
Lions
Cowboys
Packers
Chiefs
Jets
Falcons
Jaguars
Vikings
Colts
Commanders
Bengals
Buccaneers
Rams
Ravens
49ers
Browns
Lions
Dolphins
Falcons
Saints
Eagles
Steelers
Buccaneers
Jaguars
Cardinals
Bills
49ers
Chiefs
Cowboys
49ers
Cowboys
Chiefs
Texans
Jets
Saints
Ravens
Bengals
Cardinals
Colts
Lions
Chargers
Eagles
Packers
Bears
Falcons
Bengals
Chiefs
Ravens
Falcons
Bills
Cardinals
Lions
Colts
Jets
Eagles
Chargers
Seahawks
Jaguars
49ers
Cowboys
Packers
Chiefs
Ravens
Bears
Bills
Jaguars
Packers
Saints
Buccaneers
Eagles
Browns
49ers
Bengals
Rams
Chargers
Colts
Falcons
Jets
Ravens
Bengals
Chiefs
Chargers
Cowboys
Eagles
Packers
Lions
Falcons
Buccaneers
Bills
Rams
49ers
Colts
Texans

1695814’s Predicted Standings:

AFC East
Jets       14  3
Bills      10  7
Dolphins   10  7
Patriots    0 17

AFC North
Bengals    14  3
Ravens     14  3
Browns      8  9
Steelers    6 11

AFC South
Texans     11  6
Jaguars     9  8
Colts       8  9
Titans      1 16

AFC West
Chiefs     16  1
Chargers    9  8
Broncos     2 15
Raiders     2 15
NFC East
Cowboys    15  2
Eagles     13  4
Commanders  3 14
Giants      3 14

NFC North
Lions      13  4
Packers    12  5
Bears      10  7
Vikings     3 14

NFC South
Falcons    14  3
Buccaneers  7 10
Saints      7 10
Panthers    0 17

NFC West
49ers      17  0
Rams       11  6
Cardinals   5 12
Seahawks    5 12
3 Likes
50

I should get my picks in tomorrow or Tuesday.

51

:squintyeyes:
[or]
:wnb?:

52

If I led the all time standings for all these years just for the competition to collapse when Patience gets a 0.5 game lead over me (especially after how bad I did with COFPs last season)… I’m going to… to… sip out of my First Year Championship mug (thanks Jables!) with :sunglasses: on to shield my eyes from the three rings on my hand.

(Maybe trash talk will boost the entries!)

2 Likes
53

I blame the new kickoff rule

3 Likes
54

Well, I didn’t do that, but I did try to make a thread over on reddit inviting people to play. It was auto-deleted. It’s like, your threads are so bad that they’re not worthy of the cyberspace they take up. That’s how bad they are…and you’re bad, too. Get a brain, moron!

55

Yeah, I don’t touch reddit. Toxic world over there.

56

I will get picks in, almost forgot about this since I don’t browse the forums much anymore. I think a reminder message might get some memories jogged if you haven’t sent one already :grinning:

2 Likes
57

via pm? via email? via carrier pigeon?

58

via coconut-laden swallow

3 Likes
59

Dealers choice

1 Like
60
Picks

Chiefs
Packers
Falcons
Bills
Bears
Bengals
Texans
Dolphins
Saints
Vikings
Raiders
Seahawks
Buccaneers
Browns
Lions
49ers
Dolphins
Ravens
Chargers
Cowboys
Lions
Packers
Jaguars
49ers
Seahawks
Jets
Commanders
Cardinals
Chiefs
Steelers
Texans
Eagles
Jets
Browns
Colts
Texans
Eagles
Steelers
Buccaneers
Packers
Raiders
Seahawks
Lions
Ravens
Rams
Falcons
Bills
Bengals
Cowboys
Texans
Falcons
Bengals
Bears
Packers
Colts
Jets
Buccaneers
Cardinals
49ers
Chiefs
Raiders
Ravens
Dolphins
Lions
Falcons
Jets
Bears
Bengals
Texans
Jaguars
Dolphins
Commanders
Raiders
49ers
Rams
Seahawks
Steelers
Chiefs
49ers
Jaguars
Ravens
Packers
Texans
Saints
Eagles
Titans
Chargers
Raiders
Falcons
Lions
Bengals
Jets
Saints
Jaguars
Browns
Bills
Packers
Eagles
Falcons
Dolphins
Lions
Commanders
Rams
49ers
Steelers
Buccaneers
Cardinals
Rams
Ravens
Lions
Texans
Jaguars
Dolphins
Jets
Buccaneers
Commanders
Chargers
Seahawks
Bengals
Broncos
Chiefs
49ers
Steelers
Jets
Commanders
Titans
Falcons
Bills
Panthers
Bengals
Vikings
Ravens
Browns
Bears
Seahawks
Packers
Eagles
Chiefs
Ravens
Panthers
Bears
Bills
Jaguars
Chiefs
Saints
Buccaneers
Commanders
Chargers
Jets
Cowboys
Texans
Rams
Eagles
Bears
Lions
Dolphins
Rams
Saints
Steelers
Titans
Broncos
49ers
Chargers
Bills
Jets
Cowboys
Browns
Chiefs
Dolphins
Texans
Lions
Commanders
Buccaneers
Bears
Raiders
Seahawks
Packers
Rams
Chargers
Lions
Cowboys
Dolphins
Chiefs
jets
Falcons
Jaguars
Vikings
Patriots
Commanders
Bengals
Buccaneers
Saints
Ravens
Bills
Broncos
Lions
Dolphins
Vikings
Giants
Eagles
Steelers
Buccaneers
Titans
Seahawks
Rams
49ers
Chiefs
Cowboys
49ers
Cowboys
Browns
Dolphins
Jaguars
Saints
Ravens
Bengals
Cardinals
Broncos
Lions
Chargers
Eagles
Packers
Bears
Raiders
Bengals
Chiefs
Ravens
Falcons
Bills
Panthers
Bears
Titans
jets
Eagles
Chargers
Seahawks
Raiders
Dolphins
Cowboys
Packers
Steelers
Texans
Bears
Bills
Jaguars
Packers
Saints
Buccaneers
Eagles
Browns
49ers
Bengals
Rams
Patriots
Giants
Falcons
jets
Ravens
Bengals
Chiefs
Raiders
Cowboys
Eagles
Packers
Lions
Falcons
Buccaneers
Bills
Rams
49ers
Colts
Titans
Male

1 Like