The Kids Thread

I had to look this up. :woman_shrugging:

The interwebs says it’s British slang for forcing someone to leave somewhere.

Better your son figure it out now than have an expensive divorce later.

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Oh no doubt. Just hard to do for him since they lived together for like a year or more.

And as I noted, I had a great relationship with her. Got to baby her a bit since her parents don’t, loved her cooking, like how outgoing she was. Just nasty to my son in private.

Too bad. I maintain her behavior is unresolved issues with OCD and anxiety, expressing themselves poorly. When she gets a handle on not letting those things impact her daily life then she’ll make someone a great partner.

My spouse otoh, glad to see her go lol. No more cat, my wife hates cats. No more clutter, and my spouse keeps a clutter free house. No more demolishing the kitchen to prep for dinner for three hours lol, and my spouse has control issues in the kitchen. And of course a bit overprotective of her 6’4 baby boy.

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Has to be tough to live with your BF (or GF) and their parents if you are in a serious relationship.

Really?

I have heard it used in the US many times.

I don’t recall hearing turfed in (American) spoken language either… maybe in a book

My wife & I are mostly dealing with the unregulated emotional behaviors of a 4 year old that doesn’t get
what she wants.

Its too easy to spoil little kids early on (i.e. I will buy you this to keep you happy and quiet) and that just makes things so much worse later (we had to learn this lesson the hard way)

Thankfully, we have managed to curtail the poor behavior better now, and she likes doing sport activities (which keeps her happy and occupied).

One thing we have noticed though (at school and when out) is that a lot of pandemic kids in the 3 - 6 age range have really poor behavior. Like off-the-charts bad. Lots of fits and screaming. Makes it much harder to parent these days because kids copy this behavior.

Maybe its a guy thing but its definitely something that I heard many times when I was in College (US).

“Thats my turf” = Thats my “area”

“Turfed out” = kicked out of the area

Sorry, don’t mean to hijack the thread. :slight_smile:

Only the second expression is a similar usage,

obvs we use the word turf too

Even the second one is not the same

turfed someone vs turfed out someone…

not the same

FWIW, I don’t believe I’ve ever heard it before, but I’ve lived my entire life in fly over land, so there’s that . Context made the meaning mostly obvious, though.

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I just read it in a book, like 5 minutes ago, so there’s that.

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As I suspected, my child, who was only just not even six months ago a little KID, is caught in the middle of a love triangle.

So after this dissolves, he will have no friends left. I’m struggling to hold my tongue.

The girl is 13, he’s 11.5. I think he’s in over his head, but he’s got it “handled.” Glad we have been having the sex talk for years, and now we will be having it again, and again, and again. God, I hope they’re not having sex…

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A stable homelife and decent parents will get them through all of this eventually, even if they don’t seem to partake in the knowledge at the time.

I remember when my lovely daughter was an absolute bitch for a year or so. She had anxiety and an eating disorder. Got through that, she’s now a model perfect mother and wife, self confident, calm and happy home…it works out in the end even if there’s bumps in the road - the bumps are just growing up, theyre not permanent.

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My daughter (6th grade) forwarded me a chain text this morning, and while I want to be annoyed on principle, it was actually quite sweet – the directions are to forward it to the 10 prettiest girls you know.

In contrast, a few days ago, I tried to do my parently duties by reminding her to be polite and say thank you to the mom that was hosting the slumber party that my daughter was going to. She said that her friend and the friend’s mom were practically family, and you don’t need to be polite to family. Her example was that, because I’m family, she can tell me that I’m fat and need to go on a diet.

“Just to be clear, you would never say that to your mother, right?” I asked.

“Good lord no, she’d whup my ass!”

So I guess I am loved rather than feared.

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My foster son is a pretty good kid, especially considering his early years.

But he will NOT stop lying. He snuck his phone last night and was on it until 11, and then from 3-4 in the morning. We aren’t yelling at him about it, only trying to talk with him about it and stick to pre-established consequences, but he clearly either has addiction issues, or just doesn’t care about the consequences. He knows we can and occasionally do monitor screen time for all our kids.

So he’s grounded from his phone for at least a week, maybe longer. And we are implementing hard screen limits on his other devices. Which sucks, because we don’t have to do this for our other kids (anymore) because they have figured out how to self-moderate. They take breaks to go outside, and eat meals, and do non-screen activities.

But foster son doesn’t, and it’s our job to help him figure it out. But to him, it just looks like preferential treatment of our kids. He also refuses to communicate with us about what’s going on inside his head, so I can’t tell how much is getting through.

Parenting is tough, and not in the ways I had anticipated.

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Oh, and taking away his phone altogether is not an option. His dad pays for it, so we can’t remove access. We can take it for very short periods of time as punishment, but that’s limited to a few days at most, and of course his dad still needs to be able to call him and reach him.

We can restrict what he does on it to a degree, like not allowing certain apps, but we can’t ban all social media or anything like that. It creates an issue for us, because he’s still in elementary school and our kids don’t get cell phones in elementary school, they get kid smart watches with GPS and tablets with lockdowns during certain hours.

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Sadly I too love someone who lies easily. I don’t know how they do it, it seems to be a character trait. It does come with some upside, in that they seem to handle people much better than average. I doubt they’re changing - they’re an adult. Maybe there’s slightly more chance a child will change. It’s possible it was a survival skill for this child at some point due to messed up home life.

I assume you are taking away the phone each night and he took it anyway. It seems reasonable to keep it for him each night from 11 on if otherwise he’s on it at 3 AM. I assume you could make the point that the other kids don’t have phones or start collecting other electronics nightly like ipads if you’ve got those to make it more obviously fair.

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Been there, done that. More than once, I’m afraid. If it’s an adult who’s lying to you… it’s probably not going to get better, I’m sorry to say. I wish you the best.

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:iatp: and am afraid of the unknown that lies ahead.

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This sounds quite frustrating. I can’t manage my phone in a healthy manner. Fuck elementary school kids.

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Tough day in kidlandia.

  • Lost her math workbook.
  • Bully told her that her face is hexagonal.
  • Lost her first 4-leaf clover immediately after finding it.
  • Dumbledore is dead.
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