4-year-old persists in her brazen disobedience, so, nothing new. Carry on.
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I often wonder how effed my immediate family would be if it weren’t for standardized testing.
Killing exams while failing life is our motto.
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Our feelings don’t matter much. It’s an accomplishment, celebrate it somehow. Cook their favourite meal, bake a cake, something.
When our kids get say a 97% in something, I first ask ‘what happened to the other 13%. We expect 110% in this house.’ Then they get a gift card or we take them out for dinner.
In place of the 13% comment, sometimes I substitute “you got stung by B? Why you no get stung by A?”.
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Relevant, and the opposite of a celebration, I’m currently reviewing my son’s spending for the last year. He takes home a bit over $35K and has almost no expenses. Car is bought and paid for (thanks Dad). No rent, no food, internet, etc. He has to buy gas and cellphone. that’s pretty much it. So how do you bring in $35k after tax, and in a year have no savings and be $10k in credit card debt?
The answer is, starbucks and uber eats. I can’t expletive believe it. It’s obscene.
Good news is, his gf is frugal and with new years, they’re already talking about a house/moving out/etc. and she knows they don’t have the money for it. So, some incentive.
Plus I’ve approached this in a non-confrontational manner. Told him it’s not about right or wrong,or what he buys - he can do what he wants. Instead, its about control over your money, and the ability to make decisions, and that he needs that control if he wants to move out with the gf. I actually got a hug and a thank you after that speech when I told him I wanted to set up a bduget for him. So, I think it’ll be fine in the end, and hopefully set him up properly going forward.
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Sounds like my wife. Ultimately the solution was to make 6 figures.
Budgeting certainly gets easier when you can increase the income line!
I mean, SpaceCricket is certainly a lot worse.
But after all this time my wife is still allergic to looking at prices and credit card statements, but blowing a few grand here and there no longer means that she literally runs out of gas or food.
Wow, a parent in this thread doing something right.
Also, in the budget-making I predict you will discover his porn fetish attached to his card, 'cuz there is no way food and coffee for one (or two, I guess) should cost that much, especially when you seem to be providing some of that food.
I guess $100 per day on food is $36,500, but that should also mean, “stop spending so damn much per day on food when you only get paid $35K.”
Also, paying for food delivery all the time is a waste. Just pick that shit up for $1 in gas.
Given the widespread availability of free pr0n, I would think that discovery should spawn a different discussion.
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No exaggeration, his baseline expenses are 12k per year. Gas, phone, car repair, health and a few things like that. The rest of it is hunting equipment, camera equipment, alcohol, and Starbucks and restaurants/Uber eats.
There’s no way you can spend that much on Starbucks and Uber eats. At least that’s what you think until you see row after row, day after day, Starbucks and Uber eats. It’s horrifying but I’m glad we caught it now. It crept up on us. A few years ago he would take his lunch and supper from home, now he never does.
Ah. That explains it.
Well, this is awkward, but WTF are you making?
Or is this some, “I can’t bring my lunch from home in a bag; makes me look poor.”
I don’t do the cooking. I have people for that. Still, ‘the people’ will cook whatever they like, buy whatever groceries etc. It’s quite luxurious living here. The only reason is, lazy, and ‘priorities’. No time to make lunch just get up, shower, leave, and buy breakfast on the way to school.
Imma guess that’ll end tomorrow if we go through the budget tonite.
I’m hopeful that he discusses this with his gf. She’ll lay the hammer down and make sure he likes it or else. She’s quite outspoken and frugal.
the hunting stuff is grotesque. Geesh, he’s got way nicer stuff than me, and more of it. I’ve been saying he’s got more free money than I do for this stuff, with all the amazon packages coming through the door. The cherry on top was when both our hunting boots had some holes in them. He bought new ones because they were on sale at half off…$150. By contrast, I spent $10 on some goop on amazon and patched the holes in mine. So my boots have some patches. The moose haven’t complained yet and my feet are still dry.
Yeah, there’s a lot of space between “frugal” and “money means nothing to me”. He probably doesn’t need to be frugal. He just needs to not give hundred dollar tips to Applebees waitresses.
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Nothing is sexier than becoming your boyfriend’s new mother.
Nah, its not like that.
Yeah that’s what I thought too until somebody was jobless and on my couch for 2 years.
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I’ve a gf whose last live in was like that. Plus apparently alcohol.
I dont understand why she put up with it. She’s smart, self confident, outspoken, no bullshit. Financially independent, no kids. How buddy wasn’t on his ass in The street after about a week is beyond me.
OTOH my neighbours husband is a dud. Fired a few times, doesn’t even apply or start looking. Doesn’t cook or clean. Doesn’t keep himself up even a little bit. He takes year long breaks between minimum wage jobs. Last time she was over, I said “is (spouse) home from work yet? Oh sorry, I guess they haven’t left yet”. Caught he’ll for that one, I tell you what.
Anyway, my son isnt lime that at all. It’s just that his gf is very frugal and outspoken, she has no problem telling him to get his crap together re finances.and, he’ll listen on this. It’s not mothering, not like that.
younger one is taking calc 1 at HS but it counts as a university class. said she got 98/100 on the derivatives test. not surprised, but that’s a good score.
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Which universities?
U of Minnesota. it is a U class taught on HS campus through their College in the Schools program.
So all the U of Mn system and many others nearby who accept their credits on transfer.