A friend’s sister was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at Christmas and passed away in June. She was only in her 50s.
Fuck cancer.
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Uncle is moved into hospice Monday at age 70. Is on max oxygen flow from the tank and now morphine. under 100lbs. lifetime of RA and later interstitial lung disease. this year was lung cancer treatments (not likely curable). and finally…covid. of course. He is a smart and funny guy who got a shit draw of personal health throughout his life. Half his life or more seriously affected by the RA.
His spouse (my aunt by marriage) is amazing and always has been a strong and smart lady. She lost her mom a week ago and finds herself “a 70 yr old orphan” this week. her husband, who she has been through a lot of health struggles with, is facing his last one.
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That sucks!
Uncle passed quietly this morning.
If we turn back the clock a year we can have someone argue the with/of covid debate. But in this case, it is complicated and i dont care to settle that argument. Aunt is understandably super sad.
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Mom’s BFF is dealing with dementia. She’s confused because she doesn’t know where to find her father. (In the ground… he’s been dead for a couple of decades now.) Mom is visiting her (they live 1,000 miles apart) and it’s much worse than the last time they saw each other. Hard on the BFF’s husband too. 
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So sorry about your uncle, tommie.
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Twig, that sounds really tough!
Thanks. Yeah it sucks. My mom’s best friend she met the first day of kindergarten, so they are within a few months of the same age and are celebrating 70 years of friendship. It just as easily could be my mom, but thankfully my mom is mostly fine on that score. Every once in a blue moon she does something bizarre that worries me, but she’s nowhere near at the level of not understanding that her parents are dead.
It’s not really directly affecting me as I live nowhere near. But certainly someone I’ve known forever. And the BFF’s daughter and I randomly ended up in the same city for about 8 years, so during that stretch I’d see her once or twice a year when she was visiting her daughter. I mainly just feel bad for everyone more directly involved, especially the BFF and her husband.
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Today’s my father’s birthday. My cousin seems to be really sentimental about it cause his own dad, my father’s brother died earlier this year. He was 94, but still death is sad 
My dad is 88. I need to be grateful to still have him around. I’m gonna be devastated when he’s no longer here. He’s old and feeble, close to blind and deaf, but still kicking.
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My dad is 86 in 2 months and is headed down the road to dementia. He’s still mostly there but the writing is on the wall. We’re going up to visit just before Thanksgiving. Hope we get some quality time then. Planning to take him on a short road trip next summer. Not sure if that’s in the cards at this point.
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If your dad has any risk factors for cardiovascular disease see if carotid artery hardening/restricted blood flow is a contributor. I think an arterial ultrasound is a relatively cheap test that can look at blood flow. I had a great-uncle who saw a couple of years of improvement when his narrowing arteries were cleared out. One blessing of my dad’s early-ish death (aged early 70’s) was we didn’t have to deal with anything like dementia.
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Yeah our local heart hospital has a scan for like $50.
That is something I do think about. It sucks regardless, but losing someone via dementia would be hard.
Yes, and in some ways it can be harder than others. Mrs G had a grandmother who lived to her early 100’s. She was sharp well into her 90’s, but at 100 and beyond she was less connected to the present day, eventually not being able to recognize you. In the last year even her children seemed to her to be people from her own youth. On the plus side, she was unfailingly pleasant and happy to see you even if she didn’t “know” you. She seemed happy and was well cared for. That kind of dementia doesn’t seem too bad to me.
The kind that sometimes happens where a person becomes confused and uneasy because of the disorientation is much scarier. If I live long enough to have significant cognitive decline I sure hope I have the former and not the later.
I have a friend whose mom died of the angry paranoid version of dementia. Watching a parent die a lingering death sucks but having them not recognize you and/or thinking you’re out to get them could feel like more stolen time with an uncertain end.
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i imagine that chatting w a parent with dementia is like an extended improv night - yes, and…to all the wackass shit they say. but in reality I know that defense strategy only goes so far
My mom had mild to moderate dementia before she caught covid, but fortunately it wasn’t the paranoid type. Even at the worst, she recognized all her children, and all but one of her grandchildren, and she trusted us and took pleasure in our presence. Well, except for one of my brothers, but that wasn’t entirely crazy on her part. She was extremely frustrated by her lack of ability, though. She’d always been competent, and not being able to figure out how to get into her email, etc., was incredibly hard on her.
that is where we are right now with my wife’s dad.
he recognizes everyone, but is fatalistic and angry and loud.
it is cancer that spread to his brain, not age related dementia
his issue was the telephone and proving he remembered numbers, calling people in an endless loop to see if he could get through, but not remembering he just called. one day he called my wife 72 times
Had to say no to a placement today because of school transportation issues. A very stupid reason to say no, but a very real one for us.
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Bummer!
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