Sad thoughts

Not saying the dad isn’t a dumbass in his own right, but he might also be scared about brain tumor and surgery for his kid, so he minimizes the consequences to avoid facing them.

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From Raising Arizona?

In surgery now to remove the mass. they believe it could have been there 10 yrs or more based on the type and size. concerns that they may not be able to get it all given the size as they need to play carefully with the parts of the brain that are nearby.

So…give us some happy vibes.

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I hope it goes well and they get it all. :heart:

it just happened again. this time he threw up with it. that doesn’t normally happen. so 10 days between them. seems to be getting closer together. :frowning_with_open_mouth:

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8 posts were split to a new topic: Remembrances of Pillow (from the actuarial outpost)

We were afraid that one of our dogs was having seizures, turned out it was fainting due to a heart condition. It’s happening less frequently now that he’s on meds but we just have to face the fact that he probably doesn’t have much time left…

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Sorry to hear :cry:

This dog doesn’t faint though. He is awake during these seizures and looks confused and scared

Our dog is also awake despite the fainting. It’s tough for vets to tell the difference between the two, but the cardiology evidence strongly supports that it’s due to lack of oxygen from having an enlarged heart, and it typically happens when he’s barking at the UPS guy or otherwise excited. Plus, it is rare for dogs to develop epilepsy at an old age - if it were a seizure then it would likely be due to a brain tumor, but checking for that would be very invasive, risky and expensive.

ah, this dog was young when it started happening and it isn’t when he’s excited. he’ll just be sitting there calmly and have a seizure. He’s a hyper dog who loves to play tug of war (which shakes his head a ton) and bark at UPS guys, but doesn’t seem to happen when he’s doing those things.

i think he went to the vet a few years ago and i don’t think they found a reason for it.

Well the exact same thing happened again this month. I think I’m just not going to make an effort anymore with this particular group, because as trivial as it seems, I feel really shitty about it and I don’t want to feel like this for no reason.

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Odds are that everyone has more or less the same conflicts as last month, and the decision-making was similar. But yeah, sounds like it’s not worth it to try to coordinate with them.

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I wouldn’t respond. If the day and time work, great, if not, too bad for them.

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You could also, next time, respond, “Any day is fine.” And when it coincidentally is not fine, respond, “oh, something came up.”

I do wonder why they invite you and then specifically pick the date that you are not available, if that is what is actually happening. You might need to document the number of times this happened, as well as the number of times it didn’t happen.

Or, fuck 'em.

Or, find the person in charge of picking the date, and fuck 'em.

Or, put yourself in their shoes, and determine how you would choose the date, based on all of the “cannot make it” responses. My guess, assuming some Occam, is that your cannot-make date has the fewest cannot-make responses, while the others have more.

I believe it’s a bit more nuanced than that. I believe there is a hierarchy of the respondents. There are a small number whose missed presence could not be tolerated, so if only one date works for them, that is the day, assuming it also works for many.

I am not a high ranking member of this group, so my response is really not even a consideration, and thus I think it is good advice to stop responding altogether and if the date works, fantastic. If not, oh well.

This is often the case. I poll people for when to schedule an event. First, if the venue isn’t available, that date won’t work, no matter who among the invitees can make it. And i may not know what dates work for the venue when i send out the poll. Next I’m aware that if Steve can’t come I’ll lose another half dozen people. But if Jan can’t come, oh well, that’s too bad. In the unlikely event that everything was equal except for Jan’s availability, i would try to accommodate her. But in fact, once i balance the venue and Steve, i may be down to one possible date.

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(and i left out that Andi and 5 if their friends are not individually critical, but they all have similar time constraints, and i want to accommodate them, even before Steve. It’s just complicated.)

For the record, is this an appropriate use of Excel or not?

Simple math, limited amount of data: Sure.
A lot of errors are based on user incompetence.

Actually that group sounds much larger than what I would want to hangout with.