Random workplace scenario #583

Yes

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in the whole feeling old thing, in thinking about this more, he probably just wanted to whine. i kinda doubt it was meant as flirting or digging for a compliment. he just hates having to take pills. he was just making awkward conversation.

asking what you did this weekend could be just as awkward. i don’t like this question. i’d rather be asked about the pills i’m taking. what did you do this weekend is not neutral in any way.

i just don’t think “be less serious” belongs in a performance review.

Between peers (especially within the rank-and-file group), probably not.

Within a direct report situation, not as odd.

But as the initial point of contact conversation between management and new employee (especially new to the company) that is beyond the direct report relationship; that is about the worst way to make the noob feel comfortable.

And using a “reasonable person” criteria, that behavior in the given context could be classified as harassment as it would convey the expectation to share your own medical needs.

He should whine to his peers. Whining down to rank-and-file is highly unprofessional.

yeah, not saying what he did was fine, just that it wasn’t an HR issue. it was awkward.

in thinking about who I tend to whine to, it’s either peers or people who are higher up than me on the chain who I’ve known for years, not lower. gotta be a bit more professional with the junior staff.

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i’ve had people higher up than me whine to me, but it’s usually friends who i’ve known for years, not some person i barely know.

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Agree that the one-off wouldn’t be; but if it’s a pattern, someone should be alerted to the problem.

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I take all my medications at night, and none of them are Viagra!

I think this is probably what’s messing with my sleep, but I also hate getting withdrawal symptoms during the day so I moved to evenings. Sleep… or withdrawal… sleep… withdrawal… I dunno maybe I should push it back again.

Yeah, almost any topic is fine if it’s with a friend you’ve known for years. (And you already know which topics aren’t fine.) I think it was a super awkward thing to say to a new, junior employee you don’t know well.

Undesirable alternative: “You’re just ugly enough to be an actuary!”

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“You have a face for radio!”

I generally am not willing to give the benefit of the doubt to iffy interactions between senior males and junior females, but that’s me.

I know my department tends to be more on the professional side of things, though we’re generally friendly. I do try to be aware of how junior colleagues may feel in interactions, on not to be too-familiar, though.

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No. That was my first thought.

I am still undecided on this. I understand actuaries are incredibly awkward, but I can’t imagine this being that type of comment being considered a reasonable way to start a normal conversation. Obviously personalities and subsequent interactions matter. I find it strange that this was the first, and basically last, attempt at conversation outside of the subsequent performance review.

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Yeah, if i were going to complain about needing to take meds (and that’s certainly not how i introduce myself, professionally or otherwise) i would just gripe about needing to take meds, not what time of day I’m doing it. That just seems really weird.

I think most people do a lot of things at night as a ritual, so it doesn’t really strike me as a viagra thing. As for me, I have my morning pills and my night pills, just to diversify any interaction effects

You might not be the only one, but you’re definitely in the minority. Now, if he’d said he needs to take medication every time he sits in a bathtub next to his life partner who is also in a bathtub and they’re watching the sunset and sipping champagne, you’d probably be in the majority.

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Naw, that would be Cialis. Viagra was Mike Piazza, which I assume was beyond Cialis’s marketing budget so they came up with that gem instead.

You think not taking Viagra is messing with your sleep?

[OldDoctorJoke] Then start taking Viagra. [/OldDoctorJoke]