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Later on, junior actuaryās end of year feedback from this person ( who by some weird happenstance is the one giving her it, even though he is several levels up) is to be less serious.
I wouldnāt consider either of those statements as āflirtingā. Obviously we have imperfect info here but from what was written just seems like a normal thing with the other person trying to make small talk.
This can be legitimate feedback, especially if you are all business all the time and never open up and just chat with coworkers / leaders. Networking isnāt something that goes away, and to network you need to talk about other things. If you donāt want to, thatās fine, but be fully aware that limits your upward growth potential.
Again, imperfect info provided, so there may be other warning signs or something but this in and of itself seems like feedback I would give some actuaries.
be less serious might be okay. iām not sure. it sort of rubs me as āsmile moreā though, which is NOT okay and worthy of a dick punch. iām torn. the chick probably needs to lighten up and might be nervous around higher level folk. iām not sure ābe less seriousā should be in a performance review though. make her comfortable to be less serious.
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Does the weird happenstance include him arranging things so that he gave the review when there was somebody more appropriate to give it? Not sure exactly why, but that is the part that strikes me as the weirdest. I have had/given hundreds of reviews across multiple companies, and never had it be anybody other than immediate supervisor (though possible immediate supervisor is two ālevelsā up if somebody recently left).
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Not flirting.
Junior actuary: What is your age?
Chief Actuary: 55 (say).
Junior actuary: (turns opens a file, checks the tableā¦) says here you have 38 years (say) until death, on average. So, lots of life ahead.
Now, THATās flirting, to an actuary.
Disclaimer
Disclaimer: not a life actuary, numbers just made up, for the sake of comedy.
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Was it a formal review? They just said end of year feedback. Were they the only one that got feedback from that individual or did their coworkers as well? Did they also get feedback from their direct supervisor? If not, did you ask your main boss why the other guy gave the feedback?
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Sure you can. Smile and nod. No requirement to tell anyone they look great.
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Thatās because Iāve asked āhow was your weekendā one million times and isnāt really getting to know someone.
You could respond like āIām still young enough that I donāt have to deal with that yet. Not looking forward to getting olderā. Or if you are worried about him flirting by saying heās old and takes pills, say something like āyeah my parents complained about that. Iām glad Iām so young and not in that stage of life yet ā or something like that.
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Say nothing like AO fan said or just complain about having to actually care about what you eat more than when you were younger or something. No need to compliment them
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This is a common thing to say. Donāt say āyou are fat, yesā. But donāt say āno you are notā. Just something like āyeah the covid-19 is hard to avoidā.
Do you have non-work conversations with anyone at work?
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Thatās fair. I sometimes forget what itās like to be nervous around higher up people, but I definitely was early in my career.
Edit: should probably say more ācautiousā than nervous. Donāt want to say the wrong thing
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Iām curious about this too.
When my immediate boss left shortly before performance reviews, (former/future) grand-boss (temporary acting boss) gave the review but only because that was the lowest level person available to do it. It would have been weird if great-grand-boss had done the review.
But weirdest would have been if great-grand-boss did my review and no one elseās at my level.