Random Thoughts

Cracklins and biscuits aren’t a thing in my part of the world. :man_shrugging:

First reaction: how did you marry this monster?

Second reaction: more bacon for you.

1 Like

Simple solution might be to ask them to cook it until the smoke detector goes off.

1 Like

It definitely can be difficult to get other people to commit murder for you…

I’m just dreaming about where I’m gonna go on vacation—in 2023

1 Like

fun fact, I did not like bacon until about 7-8 years ago. I dunno why, I guess I just didn’t. Somehow, though, when I started cooking it for my kids, I started liking the taste and smell. :woman_shrugging:

1 Like

I was called a thoughtless a-hole over this (doesn’t offend me) but was wondering if I was the only one.

Backstory - Peer aged person died (mid-50s) and has kids. Also has very professional sounding job (VP sales at some company that does stuff.) Had a good career, etc.

Someone set up a gofundme “for the kids” and the thing is rolling to $100K, with increased goals as all prior ones are met.

Wonderment that got me labeled - doesn’t this guy have life ins? Why would I give to the gofundme? Will the gofundme create tax reporting requirements for someone?

5 Likes

So, you’re being asked to fund these kids’ college educations because this financially successful dude was too cheap & without foresight to plan ahead for it? No thanks.

Reminds me of the time that some senior vp was retiring (& “early” at that…because he was financially able to do so) and they passed along the card to sign along with the donation-envelope. Coworker & I put in some spare change.

2 Likes

That’s an interesting wonderment…the gift tax is probably at the donor level & not the recepient level, so it’s probably all good. But, IANATExpert.

You weren’t thoughtless, they were. I dont think we should be vindictive, but yeah, no insurance is a choice.

I die early, I’m insured enough to guarantee my SO a comfortable retirement. And my kids are guaranteed a small estate. And if I die later, but a bit early, my SO is guaranteed a top up.That’s the worst case scenario.i pay pretty heavily for the guarantee. And give up other things I could be spending on.

I got offered top tier ltd coverage, standard rates, nonsmoking, by a company as part of an industry offering (for top performers sort of). Lol, I confirmed my odd cigar didn’t change the ns offer and took the max. Premiums are an oof, but hey,worst case isn’t too bad then. I got mouths to feed, and a long term obligation of a decent lifestyle for my spouse. Anyway, that ltd offer was a total score.

now, to be fair - i don’t know if the man had life insurance. I assume he had, as a min from work, 1x salary. that wasn’t mentioned or discussed. someone got the ball rolling, I asked a different friend “why would we do that - didn’t the guy have life ins?” I was a ghoul for asking apparently.

so if he had adequate (or nearly so) insurance - the gofundme would be better placed with anyone/any org that needed it. Maybe if that is the case the family could direct it there.

if he did not, that would be stunning to me. like, a wildly deficient choice as a parent to not have something in place. but sending the kid the card that says “sorry your dad was an idiot and died young-ish” isn’t right either. I don’t get the immediacy of the reaction without understanding the need. sad and grieving kids are not, necessarily, unprovided for. the world has lots of unprovided for kids - give to them.

5 Likes

Interesting discussion. I can’t imagine not having any life insurance during my working life.

My dad died at age 38, and he had life insurance cover. Three kids and housewife. Group & individual.

Thank you for reminding me of your family history.

Would you mind sharing since you have the actual experience - maybe more financial support via this other method is welcomed or needed? or appreciated? Maybe I should be able to figure it out on my own. (who declines extra money? for whom does it make things “worse”?)

The fund is at $100K now. I am willing to bet that my initial wonderment about it doesn’t matter and that there is likely more family need than I had projected. Everyone buys insurance differently - wasn’t there an AO person who had like every kind of STD/LTD/CI/HospInd/Life(s)/etc.? And even still, if neighbors and friends gave that dude’s widow and kids money, why do I care.

**
Related aside - those of you with kids and spouses and people depending on you heavily - please make sure you buy life insurance or otherwise make sure that if you do suddenly pass away, the funds that are there quickly are adequate to not further stress those you leave behind. While maybe open enrollment period at work was a great time for that consideration, a year end review of home finances should include that category.

4 Likes

I’ve been thinking of returning to Europe in the spring, some good deals out there. I have frequent flyer miles but might just pay $ instead.

I really want to take a cruise. Was planning one for 2020 or 2021 back in 2019. I don’t know that 2022 will be the year either, but I’ve been thinking about it. Gotta have something to look forward to.

1 Like

Cruises are fun. I preferred the one I took that went NY to Bermuda, sat there for a few days, and then went back to NY because I didn’t have to get anxious about whether or not I was going to get off the boat at every port and about how much time I had left to get back to the boat when I did.

Okay maybe the anxiety part isn’t for everyone.

1 Like

I don’t think I would leave the ship. I don’t go on vacations to see the sights, I go to get away and rarely leave the hotel. So a cruise seems like next level planting to me.

I suspected this to be the case, which is why you should pick a cruise that isn’t going to be stopping 100 times. They tend to shut down amenities on the ship during the parts when most people are off the ship.

1 Like

One needs to remember there are often multiple safety nets. We definitely didn’t get anybody handing the hat around explicitly for us, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a few of our relatives did something. I never asked.

Things I do know about, and some of this was a special situation:

We are in the U.S., so we also got Social Security Survivors’ Benefits (went straight to my mom). I forget the parameters around that, but I was the oldest kid. I think it lasts for each child til age 18, widow caring for minor children, and some other stuff. My youngest sister was 12 when my dad died.

My dad worked for IBM right before Lou Gerstner came in, when it still had the gold-plated benefits. My mom has gotten some of my dad’s pension benefits - he had been working there since he was 24. She definitely got some sort of death benefits when he died.

yadda yadda

My dad had an individual life insurance policy, which he had gotten newly issued within the prior year. I know that, because there was a little delay due to investigation, but there was no indication of the incipient heart attack (except for the indications that he had actually had a heart attack before the fatal one, which will be in the next item.) It wasn’t much of a delay on that life insurance payout though, according to my mom. My dad was a smoker, and had been paying smoker rates. My mom said the life insurance cover was enough to pay off the mortgage.

So, about those symptoms. My dad had gone to a doctor the week before he died… and not getting into all the details, yadda yadda yadda, John Edwards represented my family and the doctor settled out of court. I got a part of the settlement. It’s why I could live in Manhattan for a few years on East 7th Street as a grad student. It’s why my middle sister had no college debt. It’s why my youngest sister could go to Duke without financial strain.

That last bit is not something that will not pertain to many people. And yes, I yadda yadda’ed over the most important part – that was part of the settlement. I didn’t get that settlement money til I was 20 or so. If I never got it, I would have been fine. I already knew, before my dad died, that there had been nothing saved for me for college, and I had already been working for scholarships, etc. There had been something saved for my sisters (just… anyway.) My middle sister would have probably had the same path, my youngest sister probably would have gone to Chapel Hill for undergrad and Duke for medical school instead of the other way around. I would just not have been able to live in Manhattan for two years and I certainly wouldn’t have farted around in grad school for 6 years.

So we are a special case. We didn’t need money. A lot of the benefits my dad had are no longer the standard employee package at IBM, forget about anywhere else. That was 31 years ago.

As for me, I have individual term AND permanent life coverage on me (due to my autistic son), plus additional assets, plus life coverage on Stu, plus other stuff.

People generally need to know that the government benefits and standard group cover through work will not be enough. They need to consider their own situation - I got permanent life cover as part of planning with respect to my son’s special needs. Different people need different things.

7 Likes