How do you do it? I’ve chickened out at least 3 times already and I’m losing sleep over the tremendous GUILT.
Maybe my boss will see this thread and the work will be done for me already. Feel free to send your own bosses here later.
Curious: why do you do it? If to be a SAHM, not a reason for guilt. If for a higher paying job, also not a reason for guilt. A small pay differential might not be a good reason to quit, but it’s not a reason for guilt. Other possbilities (e.g. wanting to try a different career) not a reason for guilt.
Long story short… I was in between jobs this summer and only had 60 days to get a new one - else I’d be stuck waiting for my green card to come in. I didn’t really want to be a sitting duck for 5-7 months, so I applied to, and interviewed for, a number of positions.
There were two early front-runners - one that stalled me for 6 weeks with extra interviews, and another that eventually realized that they don’t do TN Visas. I was at day 54 by the end of it all.
Over the next couple of days, I had 2 additional companies reach out to me for contract/contract-to-hire positions. Both companies agreed to expedite the interview proceess, and both gave me offers. I took the contract-to-hire job on day 59.
Three months later…
My green card is on the way, my current employer has committed to hiring me when it gets here… annnnd then my dream employer decides to make an appearance.
I nail the interviews, and suddenly I have an offer from one of the top ten greatest places to work on the planet. It’s the kind of job you take, regardless of how greatful you are to your current employer for saving you from the agony of living off of 1/2 an income for 5-7 months.
Hence the guilt.
Companies will only choose to do right by themselves. If that happens to do right by you at the same time, that’s just a coincidence that saves them some effort on morale.
Your company would lay you off in a heartbeat and feel no guilt. Don’t feel guilty for leaving.
Of course, the other company did leave you hanging for all those weeks, too. Are they really the best place to work?
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The way companies can inspire loyalty is to provide a better comp. package and better career opportunities. If they’re not competitive, then they get what they get - move along to a better career choice. Nobody will care that you move on such short notice - it happens. Just don’t burn any bridges when you leave.
My daughter took a job last year. On the Friday of her first week she got offered her dream job. She gave notice the following Monday. Everyone was OK (they wished her well, etc), I assume they’d just go back to their second choice of candidate.
My brother was once offered a job in NYC when he loved in LA. He rented an apartment, moved, and he was laid off a week after he started, along with his boss and 20% of the company.
Companies have no loyalty to employees.
Individual managers may, and if your manager is great, you don’t want to screw over that person. But quitting for a better job is not screwing over your manager. If you’re sure the offer is better, accept it, and tell the boss about it. If relevant, negotiate to transition at a time convenient to the boss you are ditching.
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At my first actuarial employer, a guy near me hired a person who had a temp job elsewhere and want about to convert it to a full time gig. A week later, her prior employer coughed up that full time offer, she accepted it, and left.
The hiring manager who sat near me was furious. “That short employment on her resume is going to raise questions forever.” But the rest of us laughed at him. No way her resume would even mention us. It’s pretty easy to hide a one week has in employment.
(We laughed behind his back, because we weren’t monsters and he was legit upset. But he was nuts to think she owed him that kind of loyalty.)
It’s not that one - that job was in California, and they eventually took candidate #2 (who had more Prophet experience than me). It was a questionable choice given it was more of a relationship role - but now that I have worked with Prophet, I get it.
Employer of my dreams had a role up that was removed, and then reinstated later. I think it’s probably because the hiring manager was only 3 months in when I first talked to him, but who knows. Internal recruiters reached out to me when the role popped back up, and it only made sense for me to go for it.
These guys were tough interviewers, complete with a formal presentation prepped ahead of time (had to present it twice, consecutively, due to somebody from oversees signing in late). I also ended up doing several extra interviews for another position (banking vs. insurance, within the same area). I actually got the banking one, since I was more versatile than the other candidate. Former CIO of a major bank thinks I can handle a quant job… 
… 
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It pays well.
Not sure if this makes me a non-actuary now 
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Also, I wrote the email. Sent it at roughly 1 AM. Didn’t sleep much… and currently avoiding laptop like plague.
Ha, once upon a time I started a job at Burger King, and had my initial training day of 5 hour shift. I got home and had a job offer at the supermarket for a $2 raise. I called the Burger King manager and quit. No brainer! ($6.50/hour vs. $8.50/hour).
I still have that W-2 for $31 in my files upstairs.
Update: Boss has stated he is in shock. I was also not immediately ejected. Good… news… I think?
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Resignation day live update part #2 : Bosses boss, most probably still blissfully unaware of impending doom, moves up 1-1 to right now.
cracks open a beer
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Resignation day semi-live update part #3 : Feelings of likeness are mutual. Counter offer initiated. brain explodes
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You can still post here. 
But for how long
I’m a non-actuary and I’ve been posting on actuary boards for years!
It’s good to see you posting again.
I tend to scare off other actuaries. Just give it time.
Well, they don’t want to go through the hassle of replacing you.
For me, I’d probably not quit a job I actually liked, without there being a HUGE increase in pay and financial security (i.e., I won’t get fired in three months).
So, what’s so great about the new job, if there is one?
Well yes, but as it turns out, they also seem to really, really like me. I feel like I’m breaking up with my boyfriend right now.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot the past couple of days, not just because of what you said, but because my current employer is going to “take the money issue off of the table” with the counteroffer, and upping my title and bonus and all of that. To put it into perspective, I was already 6 figures and the external offer was 20% higher - whatever the counteroffer is, I already think it’s ridiculous.
Money and security is great and all that, but sticking around would be the “safe” option. It basically sounds like - if I stay - I would be set for life, comfortable, and presumably running a small actuarial empire in the next couple of years. But I’m not sure that’s what I want.
If I leave today and it doesn’t work out, I don’t think the actuarial door is going to close for me any time soon. On the other hand, if I walk away from this other opportunity - I may never see another one like it again. I can finally get into the real, hardcore quantitative modeling arena that I’m never going to find the likes of at an insurance company. It’s also my chance to finally be creative, and personable, and quirky, and have that be an asset to my employer. The greatest personal risk I face in any career path, is that I get bored. I cannot function as a productive member of society if the work I do is boring to me.
So should I play it safe? Probably not.