https://community-new.goactuary.com/t/random-thoughts/393/2017?u=marcie
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I donāt have anything current to share.
Biggest personal disappointment of my life was having to tell my family I was getting a divorce.
Lesser disappointments have been plentiful. Not getting accepted to my first choice college when I was in high school. Not passing exams (I failed 12 exams to get to 9 passes, youād think I would have gotten used to telling people about the failing). Having to tell my husband I wasnāt pregnant when we were trying to conceive. Too many others to list.
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Had some well documented ones, been one.
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The older I get, the more I have. But getting better at dealing with them. I do regret the disappointment I have created for others more than my own.
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When Thursday comes and no chicken. 
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You poor deprived soul!!! Not even wagyu and ear scritchie scratchies to make up for it???
No disappointments, few regrets. Most of my disappointments I view as solid lessons that I used to grow. In terms of regrets, if I do something I regret, I apologize.
about 15 years ago I was at a neighbourhood gathering and a close friend, a young teen at the time, was dancing (theyāre gay). Another kid gets up and starts to dance too, and their father says āboys donāt danceā. I did nothing. I regret that.
Contrast that with the time I was at a Christmas party, everyone pretty lit up. Iām putting my shoes on and see a pair of red leather boots. Ronald McDonald and clown shoe comments ensued. I called my buddyās wife the next day and apologized. She was cool.
I wasnāt wrong about the boots though. But now the funny part is that I had to apologize.
I might be using disappoint a little differently than you are. Mostly Iām referring to disappointing things that have happened to me, not BEING disappointing or causing disappointment through conscious, sometimes poor, actions.
Like when a person applies for a job, gets their hopes up, and they donāt get it. They not only feel the disappointment for themselves, but then have to relay that disappointment to others who might have also their hopes up for that situation.
But my biggest disappointment being a failed marriage certainly falls more into the āI made some bad choices along the wayā category. My marriage failing didnāt simply happen to me, of course.
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Probably. I never really think about disappointments that way. Weāve all been dealt crap in life, I just deal.with it at the time and move on. Like maybe I should have been an actuary, but that didnāt happen. Disappointing? Eh, it didnāt happen, I moved on.
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I think the most profound disappointment involves feeling alienated from oneās destiny.
For example, not getting into a favored college might feel disappointing. But suppose you feel like you were supposed to get into that college. That is also disappointment, but of a greater kind. This most profound disappointment can also be mixed with shame.
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Funny with the college disappointment thing. UWaterloo has a high school math test that helps with admissions. I can still remember writing the test. I did the last question and didnāt like the answer so i.erased it.
Found out later that the answer was right and if Iād have left it to be marked that Iād have qualified for a scholarship. I still got accepted though.
It was important enough that to this day I can remember my answer to that question. Daaaamn.
Years later, and I just volunteered to mark that test this year.
If I didnāt have this thread, I wouldnāt have any appointments.
Can relate.
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You erased it and left it blank, or put something else there instead? Was there a penatly for wrong answers?
Biggest of my life was lying to my parents about my grades my first 2 years of college. When I had to go tell them I failed out it was awful. The bottom point of my life for sure. Honestly is super important for me because of that.
Also after finally graduating in 2005 with a degree in Economics I had some bad sales jobs in shipping and flooring. I ended up in flooring during the housing bust and had to go back to serving tables for a year and half too. That was hard 3-1/2 years out of college with a wife and child at home. Finally got a job as a claims adjuster at Allstate. After 4 years in insurance I decided to try to be an actuary. The rest is history. Finally 24 years out of high school I have a really nice career.
I am independent, adventurous, and stubborn. I have learned a lot of lessons the hard way and had a lot of disappointments.
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Iām disappointed that for all the work I did with the NHL salary cap years ago, it never led to an NHL job anywhere.
Keep in mind, at the time no one else was doing that kind of stuff and I was better versed than anyone on it, and GMs were asking me for help on things and Iām doing that on the side for free while Iām getting started in the actuarial field. No biggie, I figure eventually someone realizes they should probably have me to themselves and calls and offers. Nope, never happened. Meanwhile, others did shitty ass work on the same or other stuff - a few plagarizing work Iād done - and got job offers tossed their way.
Same kind of thing with teh analytics, where I pointed out obvious stuff or asked questions no one else was asking, and 7-10 years later someone else finally does the same and suddenly theyāre geneuses at teh analytics and job offers and such and Iām thinking dafuq, I did this shit years ago and none of you wanted to pay attention.
[Entire rant underlying that kind of stuff omitted. I want to stay in a good mood for tomorrow and the rest of the week.]
Regrets? Iāve had a few.
But, then again, too few to mention.
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I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
RN
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