Nervous Thoughts

I have a well visit tomorrow morning. This is a new PCP and I hope they’re better than my last one.

I hate going to the doctor.

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My PCP just left again… need to get on the schedule with a new one. Going to be #4 in about 10 years.

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Everything was good, but my armpit sensitivity I’ve been having for the last few weeks is something my new PCP doesn’t want to take a chance on, so I’m getting a mammogram and ultrasound. I’m 39, so mammograms were around the corner for me anyway.

Fortunately the manual exam didn’t produce anything out of the ordinary, so I’m not too worried about it. Not looking forward to waffle-ironing my boobs, but I’ll survive.

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As a guy, this isn’t something I think about. Somewhere in my journey of working in oncology I learned how this procedure is done. I guess it makes sense but it surprised me.

Fun fact: Even cis men can get mammograms, too.

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It’s been a while. Something like 1-2% of breast cancer is in men.

Getting a diagnostic mammogram today and I wasn’t feeling worried about it before this morning. Now I’m extremely anxious and holding back tears.

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:people_hugging:

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Didn’t hold them back well. Started blubbering when they were going through the questions before the boob squishing.

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It doesn’t help that this is coming at a time when I’m extremely stressed at work and could barely find the time to fit this in (and am getting meeting requests during this time block and having to tell people that I’m not available, period).

I barely have time to spend with my family at the moment and being off 4 hours is going to add to my work load quite a bit, so that just doesn’t feel great.

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A coworker had to leave abruptly to take their child to the ER today and I still haven’t heard from them. Hoping everything is ok.

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Husband just had a scary event. Probably just too long in the sauna and was dehydrated. I thought maybe he was having a stroke until I ruled that out.

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My daughter always says ‘hydrate or die-drate’

Hope he’s feeling good.

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Yikes! I hope he’s doing better.

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making my way through yet another “winter of severe illness and death” so wish me luck!

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My anxiety is overpowering me at the moment. I had already deleted all my social media apps, but I went through my phone tonight and deleted a lot more things. Some was just clutter, some was helpful to remove for my mental health, like LinkedIn.

I don’t think my anxiety issues are going away, they’re pretty deep-rooted and I am pretty sure I know the cause. I also don’t think there is much I can do about it, so…gotta find a way to live with it.

I know my anxiety is getting too big when I daydream about being a recluse. Honestly, even being locked away for a while for some inpatient treatment presents as a welcome break (although I wouldn’t put my family through that, and I know that’s just my avoidant nature lying to me).

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:bighug: [autocorrect wanted to change that to :bug hug: ]

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Have you talked to your therapist about this? Don’t hafta “live with it”

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:iatp:

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Dentist appointment today.

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