Feel free to mock the grammar too.
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Omg I love it
Within my first ten taps all 3 cats were standing next to me wondering what was going on 
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My sleeping dog’s head popped up when she heard me try it.
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My neighbour’s cat sauntered by my place with a present in his mouth for Daddy. I texted him a warning.
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I’ll sweep when I’m good and ready damnit!
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It won’t matter. You have cats.
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One thing I enjoy about winter is the cats becoming snuggle bugs. Had both cats snuggled up against me last night.
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Did that cat just sneeze on your finger? Ew.
I was trying to capture his milk mustache.
There’s been some chatter about my son’s gf moving in with us. She has a cat. They’re going to bring the cat over shortly to see what the dog makes of it.
I’m not thinking this is a good idea. There’s a better than zero chance our dog will specifically try and kill the cat. I mention this, nobody cares.
Somebody, not me may be looking at vet bills at a minimum. Our dog is great around people, but I’ve seen what it does to squirrels. It’s a hunting dog at its core.
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I’m going to need real time updates on this cat meet dog situation.