It’d still work if you replaced the cat with an actual baby.
I ruined Charlie’s first pending adoption because I told the shelter she sucks at not peeing on my carpet.
Hoping the current pending adoption is someone without carpets.
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So I took in a new foster. His name is “Bamboo” and he was described as “spicy”.
Things then escalated quickly.
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omg gimme. so cute.
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Sneak preview of future black cat shenanigans you may be involved in Tiffany. That’s Milo just watching over my wife, daughter, and I while we eat.
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You get piles of adorable kittens and I pull something out of a garbage can and it’s a goblin.
I mean I have 2 adorable shits right now, but I’ve had so many goblins, do I need to stop looking in trash cans??
I specifically requested three assholes and all I got were these a-holes.
The one in the back is technically still a goblin - he doesn’t care for my jib, or anyone’s jib for that matter. He might actually hate all jibs.
The other two were just fighting over a sleeping spot in my crotch, so they might be ready for adoption.
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Oh the ones Goob used to bring me were always half alive 
.
Yeah, I’ve never had a cat gift me a dead mouse. Only live but slightly dazed and injured ones. Not so injured they couldn’t run away, mind you.
Now that everybody is indoor, I only get fake mice (with the tails ripped off) and occasional garbage.
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Mine have found 3 indoors… each time I noticed because they were weirdly cooperative, and just laying on their sides batting at it and keeping it in a corner.
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Our indoor cat “accidentally” dashed outside when I was heading to the mailbox the other day. Remembering how awful he was to catch the last time, I gave up after a couple half hearted attempts. The boy knows who feeds him.
After the mailbox I start cautiously looking around and pretending to not panic. My daughter comes out (her cat). She calls to him and he howls like he did at the emergency vet. He was still in the shrubs right by the porch—had not made an escape at all!
He’s all like, “You won’t believe what HAPPENED to me!” as if the little criminal did not dart through the front door of his own volition.
These are the creatures we caress and feed and clean up after and buy toys for and put birds on the tv for. Pretty Little Liars.
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My neighbour’s cat was on the front step likkin’ hizzelf earlier this afternoon.