March Sadness 2023 (a.k.a the RPS Biggest Loser tournament)

Are you bummed about your first-match-exit in the March Madness 2023 (a.k.a the annual Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament)? Me too!

Let’s see who can keep up the losing!

This tournament is for all of the first-match losers. The goal is to keep losing.

The default will be for you to participate with all of your throws made automatically by the moderator’s Excel =RAND() fn.

If you’d like, you may also submit your own throws (for the entire tournament all at once) or specify how rand() should be weighted for you or any other Excel tricks you’ve got up your sleeve. Just send them to me via pm.

Play will start as soon as every MM23 participant has had a chance to join this tournament, so it might be a while yet.

I’m not just the moderator, I’m also a participant. You can rest easy knowing that the moderator won’t pull any sneaky monkey moves, tricky hijinks, or deceitful chicanery when it comes to picking the losers.

All matchups, including the finale, will be sudden death (best of one).

There are going to be two champions:

  • The RPS Biggest Loser will be the player that loses all of their matches in the first iteration of the throws.
  • The RPS Ultimate Loser will be the player that loses the most tournament brackets in 2^n iterations of throws (where n is the number of participants).
  • The seeding will be based on the number games each participant won in their first match in March Madness 2023, and random after that.

As a reminder, the goal is to keep losing.

Welcome to all of our participants, and we wish you the worst of luck.

Here are the players that I’ve identified (If you prefer, you may bow out and not participate at all. Just send me a pm or carrier pigeon with that message.)


I’m in with default throws please.

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I know how to win this one:


Since I cannot participate directly, I would like to propose the VA-algorithm of throws:

  1. Use the default process to generate four (4) results

  2. If there is a duplicated result in the first three results, that is the throw you use

  3. Otherwise, you use the result of the fourth throw


A. Results are R-S-S-R: S is the final result

B. Results are R-P-R-P: R is the final result

C. Results are S-P-R-P: P is the final result

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So, for all intensive porpoises, you’re looking for the first duplicated throw.

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I don’t have to do anything, right?

I mean, I wasn’t really doing much to lose for the other one, either…

Correct. Unless you want to…like VA did above.

Well, I guess I’m in too now.

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@Doctor_Who , @John.S.Mill , & @skysn93 join the fray.

A game where I don’t have to do anything? My type of game.

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Default throws please

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For my own benefit, I’ve moved this list to the OP.

What about me or IPD?

I think he’s looking at “first match” games; you and IPD already played a game and won . . . so y’all are ineligible.

I’m just now playing my first game, so in the very unlikely chance that I lose, I could join this game.

On my first read, I was thinking first round games, so I thought I wasn’t eligible at all.

Sorry. This club is for Losers-only.

Oh, you’re eligible, my friend …you’re eligible



I unFixed Your Grammar

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Summer comes before the Fall… and so does pride. :judge:

Yeah . . . and I doubt that we’ll ever reach Summer going at this pace.

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