March Mediocre Mayhem 2022 (a.k.a the RPS Mediocre Members tournament)

Are you bummed that you didn’t make the Final Four of March Madness 2022 (a.k.a the annual Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament) yet you weren’t bad enough for the consolation March Sadness tournament?

Let’s see who can keep up the mediocrity!

This tournament is for the seven RPS players who won their first match but didn’t make it to the Final Four.

The default will be for you to participate with all of your throws made automatically by the moderator’s Excel =RAND() fn.
If you’d like, you may also submit your own throws (for the entire tournament all at once ) or specify how rand() should be weighted for you or any other Excel tricks you’ve got up your sleeve. Just send them to me via pm. You should submit a total of 36 throws if you go the own-throw-route. This could be a good option for a player who uses a different strategery for Home vs Away games.
If you prefer, you may bow out and not participate at all. Just lemmino.

The moderator assures you of no funny business, tomfoolery, nor skullduggery in the determining of results via the Mediocre Mayhem Machine™.

Here are the players that I’ve identified:

This will be a multi-round-robin tournament. You will play every other player six times - three times on your home pitch and three times on your opponent’s. However, due to time contraints, results will only be shown at the end of the third round, so you won’t be able to make any halftime adjustments like they do in hockey games.

There are going to be two champions:

  • The RPS Mediocre Median Master will be the player with the median rank in the standings after three rounds. Since you’re an odd bunch (LITERALLY!), there will only be one most-mediocre-master…unless one or three of you drop out in which case there will be two.
  • The RPS Tons of Ties Titleholder will be the player with the most number of tied throws in the round robin tournament.

As a reminder, the goal is to win and lose such that you end up in the middle of the standings [or] throw what your opponent throws (a lot). Individual matches that end in a tie will be considered 1/2 of a win. The MMM will be based on overall standings.

Welcome to all of our participants, and we wish you some luck…not so much that your star shines bright, nor not so little that you stumble & fall, but just enough to be mediocre.

The gonkulator is currently in about a thousand pieces spread about my garage floor. I’ll be working feverishly this weekend to put it back together. If it’s in working order by Monday morning (March 28) I expect to post results about 9:00AM CT. (For our Finnish players, don’t forget to set your clocks ahead this weekend. You don’t want to be late!)


So, assuming everyone plays, we play 6 other players 6 times. Does that mean 36 sets of 5 throws, or just 36 throws? If either of those, there would be some possibility of a tie. In a mediocrity challenge, a tie can’t be all that bad an outcome.

Good Okay question! You only need to submit 36 throws. I will edit the OP with that information.

This marginally-adequate comment gave me the idea to add the Tons of Ties Titleholder champion, so thanks for that. It also makes the calculation of results much easier, so really thanks for that!


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I’m in a superposition of being both in and out.

Quantum Leap was one of my favorite shows back in the day. Who would’ve thought that we’d be able to carry around a handheld computer with us wherever we go.

It was on Netflix quite a while ago, but they skipped a lot of episodes because they didn’t have the rights or didn’t want to pay the fees for the music that was embedded within the shows. I gave up after one episode.

It may be a font thing, but what does a factorial of a natural log mean?

I don’t have to do anything and can reap the glory or blame someone else for the results?

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[Calibri]I[/Calibri][Bahnschrift]’[/Bahnschrift][Gills Sans MT]1[/Gill Sans MT][Calibri]l look into that[/Cslibri] [Gills Sans MT]1[/Gill Sans MT].

You betcha.

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i think i’m cool with my throws being randomly generated rather than send them myself.

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ur skurd. I was all set for having gotten into your head. Going up against the RNG makes it a little tougher.

New instructions to the moderator: if ao fan submits her own throws, stick with what I originally submitted for against her. Otherwise interchange the first P with the first S, keeping the other 4 as they were.

Consider this as a dynamic instruction, in case she flip flops. In other words, if she ends up with submitted picks, stick with my original. If she ends up with the RNG, use my original modified that way. (Modified only one time, no matter how often she changes.) Thanks.

Blame ao fan, not me, for this extra effort.

Everyone else, stick with my original picks against them, whether they use RNG or their own. I think I’ve detected their proclivities anyway. ao fan surprised me. She’s usually more decisive.


ao fan doesn’t feel well today and she is rps’d out and therefore embracing the mediocrity of this round.

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Hope you feel better* soon. You still have some time to submit your own picks, if you do feel better, the moderator knows what my picks revert to if you do submit.

*Maybe not feeling great, but at least feeling so-so.


That’s the spirit!

…±30 minutes…emphasis on the “plus”.

Prepare for Mediocre Mayhem…

Here are the results of the match-ups:

detailed results

1,IPD R Tie,Tiffany R Tie
1,IPD R W,NumericalNeuroticism S L
1,IPD R Tie,JFG R Tie
1,IPD R Tie,SteveWhite R Tie
1,IPD R W,Klaymen S L
1,IPD R W,ao_fan S L
1,Tiffany S L,IPD R W
1,Tiffany R Tie,NumericalNeuroticism R Tie
1,Tiffany R Tie,JFG R Tie
1,Tiffany R W,SteveWhite S L
1,Tiffany S W,Klaymen P L
1,Tiffany P L,ao_fan S W
1,NumericalNeuroticism R Tie,IPD R Tie
1,NumericalNeuroticism P Tie,Tiffany P Tie
1,NumericalNeuroticism R W,JFG S L
1,NumericalNeuroticism R Tie,SteveWhite R Tie
1,NumericalNeuroticism R W,Klaymen S L
1,NumericalNeuroticism R Tie,ao_fan R Tie
1,JFG S W,Tiffany P L
1,JFG R L,NumericalNeuroticism P W
1,JFG R Tie,SteveWhite R Tie
1,JFG P Tie,Klaymen P Tie
1,JFG S W,ao_fan P L
1,SteveWhite R Tie,IPD R Tie
1,SteveWhite S W,Tiffany P L
1,SteveWhite R W,NumericalNeuroticism S L
1,SteveWhite R L,JFG P W
1,SteveWhite P L,Klaymen S W
1,SteveWhite R W,ao_fan S L
1,Klaymen S L,IPD R W
1,Klaymen P L,Tiffany S W
1,Klaymen R L,NumericalNeuroticism P W
1,Klaymen R L,JFG P W
1,Klaymen P Tie,SteveWhite P Tie
1,Klaymen S L,ao_fan R W
1,ao_fan S L,IPD R W
1,ao_fan R Tie,Tiffany R Tie
1,ao_fan R L,NumericalNeuroticism P W
1,ao_fan P L,JFG S W
1,ao_fan P W,SteveWhite R L
1,ao_fan R W,Klaymen S L
2,IPD R Tie,Tiffany R Tie
2,IPD R Tie,NumericalNeuroticism R Tie
2,IPD R Tie,SteveWhite R Tie
2,IPD R W,Klaymen S L
2,IPD R L,ao_fan P W
2,Tiffany S L,IPD R W
2,Tiffany P W,NumericalNeuroticism R L
2,Tiffany P L,JFG S W
2,Tiffany R W,SteveWhite S L
2,Tiffany P L,Klaymen S W
2,Tiffany R W,ao_fan S L
2,NumericalNeuroticism P W,IPD R L
2,NumericalNeuroticism R Tie,Tiffany R Tie
2,NumericalNeuroticism S L,JFG R W
2,NumericalNeuroticism R L,SteveWhite P W
2,NumericalNeuroticism P Tie,Klaymen P Tie
2,NumericalNeuroticism P W,ao_fan R L
2,JFG P L,Tiffany S W
2,JFG P L,NumericalNeuroticism S W
2,JFG P Tie,SteveWhite P Tie
2,JFG P L,Klaymen S W
2,JFG S W,ao_fan P L
2,SteveWhite R Tie,IPD R Tie
2,SteveWhite S W,Tiffany P L
2,SteveWhite P W,NumericalNeuroticism R L
2,SteveWhite P W,JFG R L
2,SteveWhite P Tie,Klaymen P Tie
2,SteveWhite R W,ao_fan S L
2,Klaymen S L,IPD R W
2,Klaymen R Tie,Tiffany R Tie
2,Klaymen S Tie,NumericalNeuroticism S Tie
2,Klaymen R Tie,JFG R Tie
2,Klaymen R L,SteveWhite P W
2,Klaymen R L,ao_fan P W
2,ao_fan P W,IPD R L
2,ao_fan S W,Tiffany P L
2,ao_fan S W,NumericalNeuroticism P L
2,ao_fan R L,JFG P W
2,ao_fan R Tie,SteveWhite R Tie
2,ao_fan S Tie,Klaymen S Tie
3,IPD R Tie,Tiffany R Tie
3,IPD R W,NumericalNeuroticism S L
3,IPD R L,SteveWhite P W
3,IPD R W,Klaymen S L
3,IPD R Tie,ao_fan R Tie
3,Tiffany R Tie,IPD R Tie
3,Tiffany S W,NumericalNeuroticism P L
3,Tiffany P Tie,JFG P Tie
3,Tiffany P L,SteveWhite S W
3,Tiffany P Tie,Klaymen P Tie
3,Tiffany P L,ao_fan S W
3,NumericalNeuroticism P W,IPD R L
3,NumericalNeuroticism R W,Tiffany S L
3,NumericalNeuroticism P Tie,JFG P Tie
3,NumericalNeuroticism R W,SteveWhite S L
3,NumericalNeuroticism S Tie,Klaymen S Tie
3,NumericalNeuroticism S W,ao_fan P L
3,JFG R Tie,Tiffany R Tie
3,JFG P W,NumericalNeuroticism R L
3,JFG P L,SteveWhite S W
3,JFG P L,Klaymen S W
3,JFG P L,ao_fan S W
3,SteveWhite P W,IPD R L
3,SteveWhite S Tie,Tiffany S Tie
3,SteveWhite S W,NumericalNeuroticism P L
3,SteveWhite S L,JFG R W
3,SteveWhite P Tie,Klaymen P Tie
3,SteveWhite R L,ao_fan P W
3,Klaymen P W,IPD R L
3,Klaymen R L,Tiffany P W
3,Klaymen S L,NumericalNeuroticism R W
3,Klaymen S L,JFG R W
3,Klaymen P Tie,SteveWhite P Tie
3,Klaymen R W,ao_fan S L
3,ao_fan S L,IPD R W
3,ao_fan S W,Tiffany P L
3,ao_fan S Tie,NumericalNeuroticism S Tie
3,ao_fan R L,JFG P W
3,ao_fan S L,SteveWhite R W
3,ao_fan S W,Klaymen P L


Congratulations to @JFG, the 2022 RPS Mediocre Median Master!!!

Congratulations to @Tiffany, the 2022 RPS Tons of Ties Titleholder!!!

  • The RPS Mediocre Median Master will be the player with the median rank in the standings after three rounds. Since you’re an odd bunch (LITERALLY!), there will only be one most-mediocre-master …unless one or three of you drop out in which case there will be two.
  • The RPS Tons of Ties Titleholder will be the player with the most number of tied throws in the round robin tournament.

Thank you to all of our participants. Congratulations to our mediocre winners. As for the rest of you, meh-tter luck next time.