I personally feel you are being overly sensitive and “dont get him”
Nothing you have printed has even approached a line of improper behavior
Before you even think of HR, talk to him, tell him some of his comments make you uncomfortable.
But as you have presented it here, if I was an HR person, i see no evidence of anything
Your young minority comments are very vague. Do you see whites getting preferecial treatment? Are all the minorities young?
There are non young minorities and yes, there is some appearance of non minorities getting preferential treatment.
I guess I just accept this guy likes to make jokes where the point of the joke is something bad about someone else.
I think he’s pretty amusing tbh, definitely don’t think it is in any way hostile, attempting to bully minorities or anything of the sort. But if it bothers you you should definitely talk to him. We’re all adults at work. If you sit there silently while he makes jokes that don’t bother other people but bother you it is kind of on you to let him know so he can change.
If it wouldn’t bother the average person I am definitely not going to say anything to him. Yes it seems directed and a little mean spirited though.
I would say that’s a bit passive aggressive. If it doesn’t bother the average person but does bother you and this is your manager you should definitely say something.
Obviously you do you, but that sounds like a work expectations thing which I’d argue is distinct from a relationships thing in the workplace. If he’s dismissive about you expressing discomfort over the types of comments he makes towards you that would be a big deal, but that’s different than him saying sorry you’ve got to hit this due date regardless.
Just keeping it to yourself isn’t a great idea if it’s going to bother you and it’ll be on you that you become bitter over time.
If you have access to a company video on preventing harassment at work, you could rewatch it to see if they discuss any scenarios that are similar to yours. If so, you could mention that scenario when you bring this up with him.
I think, though, that this individual in question is approaching insensitive behavior; which isn’t necessarily concerning for a general rank-and-file employee, but could be problematic for a manager.
I think this is a reasonable default assumption; but I’ve been proven wrong on a few occasions, however.
If this is true, I would first talk to your supervisor’s supervisor before going to HR.
At this point, I would suggest starting to keep a diary/journal* and document everything and in detail.
I would also suggest updating your resume.
*This should be a hardbound notebook; and “timestamp” every entry you make.
This is off a slide for implicit bias from a presenter for a conference I was running
I saw this after my daughter brought her boss to HR, but he did all these and so much more
This is a good guide, if he is doing multiple of these actions
I feel like I should have something to contribute here since I’ve had 13 bosses already in a span of 12 years. It’s very easy to jump to the “if you have a problem with your manager you should talk to them about it” conclusion, but in practice it’s never that simple. Sometimes your manager just has a rogue personality, sometimes they have no idea what the hell they’re doing managing staff, and even sometimes, the manager you are supposed to be able to trust is actually lying to your face and trying to get you fired.
I have a “wait it out and see” approach. Sometimes, initial perceptions are wrong (ex: thought one of my recent managers was sexist but it wasn’t the case). Often times, my own managers just haven’t had enough time to see my true value come through and tend to underutilize/underestimate me for a while. In general, things change so quickly that if I have a problem with the way things are now it will probably work itself out in a year’s time anyway - so I wait, and if it’s that bad I play the situation to my advantage as much as possible until it’s passed.
Now the wait and see isn’t going to work forever, and if you’ve made up your mind already about this person and it’s bad - then move on. If you’re not sure, the next thing I would do is talk to another coworker that you trust and that may or may not be experiencing the same situation. Get their take on it. If you want to see discrimination, you will see it. If your coworker is seeing things differently than you, try to see it from their perspective before you make any decisions.
Lucky. Go ahead, rub it in everyone else’s face, especiall those of us who’ve had … do we have to count a boss who at a certain point went derelict in their duties and didn’t interact at all with their direct reports? Asking for a friend, BTW.
I’m counting a boss that bridged the gap between the boss that got fired for a promotion that lost the company millions of dollars, and the boss that thought someone else was my boss. There are no rules here!
But the points matter, right? Right!?
Yeah, with my boss I have definitely had to turn to another woman in the room after the meeting and say, “was I just being hypersensitive, or did you also notice he said X? That was weird, right?” And having someone acknowledge the thing you feel alone in noticing is helpful. Or putting in a different perspective.
We have both agreed he just has a different tempo and we aren’t offended by it, but also recognize that there could come a situation where we need to say something to him because we all deserve opportunities to do better.
We’ve been watching a bunch of old episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway? lately… so… no, no they don’t.
I will say that in the N years I’ve been an actuary, I’ve seen exactly 2 credentialed actuaries get hired and fired within a year. Both instances were for sexual harrassment, both were so clearly over the line that when it was reported to HR the instruction was “escort them out of the office now, box their stuff up and ship it to them, they’re not to be let back into the office under any circumstance.” Beyond those two, I’ve never seen a company within even 2 years fire someone they hired for a supervisory position, no matter how apparent it was that said hire was a terrible manager and running off others - especially longtime and/or highly respected employees - and ruining morale in their department and between their department and other departments.
Do I think what’s being described rises to that level? No, but someone is still clearly uncomfortable. This is where it’s incumbent on the underling to go to the manager and have a talk. If you go straight to HR, they’ll set up a meeting for you and the manager to talk and try and sort things out. Show you were proactive, made an attempt to improve things before you went to HR. Document what’s going on. The more you have a track record, along with noting other people who were present who might be witnesses, the more credible your story is.
Maybe it’s reconcilable. Maybe it’s not. I say try, unless you’re really unhappy there (ignoring the new manager) and want to leave. If this were a manager bitching about your lack of professionalism because you wear a hoodie to and from work that’s not offensive in any way unless someone gets offended by the nickname of a university [yes, this really happened in one place], … well, there’s bigger issues at play, you need to get out.
Ooh, I saw a marketing guy get hoisted out like that at an insurance company once. Nice.
I was hired to do a project, hired because I had extensive unique experience on that type of project (it’s not unique anymore but it was then). He starts a department meeting with “I think I’ve got the most experience here in this stuff”. He wasn’t there when we finished lol.
as an asian american i’ve a lot of times had to deal with this american style of banter, where everyone lightly insults each other back and forth. don’t care for it and if that makes me an outsider so be it
i even tried it once but my insult was a little too harsh and i saw everyone’s jaw drop
