Is this a normal comment

Is it normal for your new manager to make a joke that implies it’s your fault for the large amount of turnover at the level above you?

Some background: there was a set of layoffs and my managers rapidly came and went for about a year. A new one came on, and the first thing out of his mouth to me was that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be my manager because of all the turnover. I’m one of a much larger team and the problems of this company are way beyond my personal control so that just struck me as … I don’t know.

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Seems like a normal sarcastic comment,. Not intended to be taken literally


Taken how then? It’s not the sort of thing you think up randomly as a nice introductory joke to break the ice

His emphasis was definitely on it being me

As a one-off? I’d ignore it. If you get a couple more? I’d call it out. I can get where they’re coming from with the comment, but also probably not something I’d start off with without pointedly saying this is a joke, I don’t mean anything by it in front of that comment.

Now, if you end up in a meeting with others who know you and you make a joke that everyone else understands and people laugh, and he doesn’t laugh and remarks “I don’t know if you’re trying to be funny, or you’re just being a dick,” … well, call a recruiter and find a new place.

Do we need a sarcasm sign?

Does this count as a couple more?

He made a joke when I was mentioning a (continuing) issue that I was hoping to get his help on, that it was all in the past and I should forget about it…

He made another joke to one of my business partners that I would retaliate (through giving them PYD) if they left me out of their meetings…

He made a joke about another person in a big meeting that their “failure” was okay…

The third one is funny

Guy sounds like he likes to make jokes and sarcastic remarks. It’s his personality. I’d probably like working for him. But if you have a hard time with sarcasm or are a serious person it may be hard. Definitely not personal


What if it’s almost always directed at a minority?

The “wow you must suck to work with” line of humor is definitely a joke I would make…to someone I’m already friendly with. Not someone I don’t know yet.

My manager definitely WOULD make that kind of weird joke. He’s a weird guy with an offbeat sense of humor. I’ve learned to deal with it. Every once in a while I think he realizes he crosses a line and apologizes, but he will always be odd and I have learned to accept it.


What is PYD?


is english not your first language? could be a cultural thing

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Prior year development… causes them to have a bad profit and loss that year

Obviously only you know this situation. You shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable at work, and if you do, you owe it to yourself and others to change things. Shouldn’t have to fall on you, but clearly no one else is going to say anything.

You can choose to bring it up, either to him (preferable), to HR (acceptable), or to his boss (also acceptable but lacking courage), or you can learn to live with it. Sucks, but that’s what it is.

No matter what you choose to do, start documenting. Especially if it’s targeted at minorities. Make your case, in case of retaliation.


English is most definitely my first and only fluent language. I have minor skills in a few others.

Depends. Are you the only minority and it is at you? Or are there 3 and they
seem to be exclusively minorities targeted?

If he truly demeans your work in front of others, or it reflects in your review, then say something to him. It the sarcasm take on an offensive edge to your “group”, then say something.

And like I told my daughter when she had management issues,document everything, dated and detailed. And if it does get out of hand you have a record

But imo everything you described is a sarcastic guy who might be getting over familiar too soon


It’s usually me and a few times others, but I don’t know how he talks in private to others.

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Agreed with the above.

Since I’m someone who likely would make any of those comments you listed, I’ll add that he probably (at least from the little snippets posted here) doesn’t realize how it is impacting you, so the conversation may be a shock to him.

Map out the conversation to have it go easier, using a guide like this-