Why doesn’t 3AM me recognize how miserable 7AM me is going to be?? I’m so fronking tired.
I woke about an hour before I needed to be up. I felt awake so I wasn’t sure I’d be able to fall back asleep. I did fall back asleep and was very groggy when the alarm went off.
I drank too much yesterday. I think I woke up at least 5 times last night to pee a gallon each time. Had like a million different vivid dreams.
Reminds me of this Seinfeld bit about ordering food in a restaurant:
Went out to dinner the other night. Check came at the end of the meal, as it always does. Never liked the check at the end of the meal system, because money’s a very different thing before and after you eat. Before you eat money has no value. And you don’t care about money when you’re hungry, you sit down at a
restaurant. You’re like the ruler of an empire. “More drinks, appetizers, quickly, quickly! It will be the greatest meal of our lives.” Then after the meal, you know, you’ve got the pants open, you’ve got the napkins destroyed, cigarette butt in the mashed potatoes - then the check comes at that moment. People are always upset, you know. They’re mystified by the check. “What is this? How could this be?” They start passing it around the table, “Does this look right to you? We’re not hungry now. Why are we buying all this food?!”
And that’s funny, because Seinfeld actually has ANOTHER bit specifically about “morning guy” vs “night guy”:
I never get enough sleep. I stay up late at night 'cause I’m “night guy”. Night guy wants to stay up late. “What about getting up after five hours of sleep? Oh, that’s morning guy’s problem. That’s not my problem. I’m night guy. I stay up as late as I want.” So you get up in the morning, the alarm, you’re exhausted, groggy. Oh, you hate that night guy. See, night guy always screws morning guy. There’s nothing morning guy can do. The only thing morning guy can do is try and oversleep often enough so that day guy loses his job, and night guy has no money to go out anymore.
Finally had a full night’s sleep. I don’t think I’ve had 1 full night’s sleep in months. Slept around 11-6 without waking up and didn’t feel entirely like shit following.
My blood pressure went from an average of 155/100 to 130/88 in just 2 doses of anxiety medication, and the doctor said it takes about 2 weeks to fully work.
I am off-kilter, for sure, with psychoactive meds for this first time, but holy shit I slept.
Edit: 135/88 and 130/90 on my two reads on each arm again. Still not great, I should be better. However, I did read at 165/115 at a doctor recently, so this is welcome. I’m happy I insisted on a female doctor that took me seriously.
That’s right! I forgot about that one! Good stuff.
3AM me is VERY aware of how miserable 7AM me is going to be. But if I can’t sleep, I can’t sleep. Fortunately, I don’t get insomnia all that often. But I have a lot of stressful stuff going on right now.
If I’m still awake within 1 hour of my going to bed, I always have back up melatonin, ambien, or worse comes to worst for the final knockout - xanax.
But I WILL get my 8 hours of sleep.
Blood pressure cuffs give me anxiety…i can go from 160/100 to 115/75 in a few minutes once i get my brain working correctly and ignore that i am getting tested.
Is that…an insignificant signal?
Sadly, yes. I meant to reply to @NerdAlert , who had posted not long before I did.
Yeah, I keep the Costco dissolving melatonin on my nightstand so I don’t even need to get up for it. But I still have some sleepless nights.
that’s what I use! It tastes delicious
This was the post you’d replied “Hi” to
I heard a thunk outside just now. Going back to .
122/78 this morning even though I’m quite stressed.
Down about 40/32 from my maximum a week ago, down about 30/25 from average.
Just from 2 doses of anxiety meds. It’s magic. I slept again last night, all night, and I haven’t done that in months.
There might also be depression in the mix but I’m waiting for my brain to sort itself out.