when I quit drinking, I didnt commit to being sober forever.
Instead I said “lets try this sober thing, and if its no good, Ill just go back to drinking. worst case, Im just back to where I am now”.
First few times I tried this, I said ‘cant do it, back to drinking’. but on the 20th? try I finally said ‘lets just stay sober this time’. That was 2 years ago and I am glad I made that choice.
Point being, it was not an upfront commitment by me. I dont think i could handle the lifestyle shock of “sober forever, starting…NOW”
I’m literally surrounded by users.
One of my good friends was a serious alcoholic in his 20s. He had to lie to his bf to go to CVS just to grab a bottle and sneak into the bathroom to drink. That was the last time he ever drank, he went to rehab after (not his first rehab) and never touched alcohol (or weed or coke) again. This was 15 years ago. It wasn’t anything special about the situation that made him successful at rehab this time, it was just an epiphany that he couldn’t live like that anymore.
He did pick up cigarettes though along the way. Not sure if this is better for his health, but it’s certainly made him a lot more functional in society and more palatable to his family and friends. (and why I suggested substance switch, if quitting isn’t possible for you. Alcohol is one of the worst drugs you can be addicted to)
My ex’s first ex (who I’ve met several times) is a meth addict, and still is. The kind that goes naked and runs berserk on the streets. In and out of rehab every time he gets arrested. Lost his home and everything. Had to call my ex one day and beg for food.
Another point I would like to make in this thread is to STOP focusing on what addiction is. STOP trying to apply that label to people.
I would rather see the focus of this thread be how people were able to overcome their problems.
one of the greatest lines I ever heard was from a recovering heroin addict “Its not that ive been clean for 2 years, its about the things I have done in the time i have been clean”
I’ve seen success stories and I’ve seen unsuccessful stories, through rehab or not. I’m simply offering some success stories that I’ve witnessed, and ways other than rehab that have worked for people around me.
Not sure why NA felt the need to start saying these people aren’t “real addicts”. But apparently her anecdotes are superior to mine.
This is similar to me, especially the FOMO/social aspect. It was primarily during college and post-college years; I was friends with many bartenders (not a good thing). If I went home for the weekend or summer, I hardly drank. It was environmental. It basically switched to weekends when I got a “real” job, and the volume decreased also. For 20 years or so, it has tapered from an occasional 3-4 drinks to now where I may or may not have 1 beer on a given day.
Looking back, I passed the CAGE test. I did have a drinking problem, but I wasn’t necessarily an addict. Similar to others here, I could not have just a few drinks. It would turn into A LOT, and back in the day I could still function with many drinks.
The first step in getting better is understanding what an addict is, or an addicted person, or an alcoholic, or whatever.
Step 1 of AA spells it out clearly: someone who is powerless over [the substance(s)] and his life has become unmanageable. Step 2 is that he cannot get well without the help of a higher power. [For good or bad, AA calls this power ‘God’ in some places]
I understand that ‘addict’ has very bad optics. But until you understand what that is, you cannot full grasp the concept of recovery.
Merely stopping drinking or using doesn’t make you sober or recovered. You can be clean, but you aren’t necessarily sober. Recovery is way more than that. It involves not using and making healthy choices in your life and relationships.
There is a reason the phrase is ‘clean AND sober.’ Two sides of the same coin.
Another reason I don’t like this whole “quit for life” concept is that it makes it seem like if you relapse once you somehow have to “start over”, when in reality, using a substance once every 6 months can be absolutely sustainable as a healthy life style, and it’s really not a big deal.
In AA, we agree that there is no cure for alcoholism. Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic means that we will never gain the ability to drink normally. However, we can recover. The foreword of the Big Book opens with, “We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women [in 1939] who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.” Some members describe themselves as “recovered” in the sense that they have got over the main problems drinking had on them. Some members prefer to describe themselves as recovering alcoholics to emphasise that getting well is an ongoing process which is never fully complete.
So it’s an uphill climb with no end in sight. Yeah, I don’t think that method would work for me. I’m more of a I need to know where I’m going kind of guy
People are different. What works for some won’t work for others.
I know a guy who wanted to quit smoking but couldn’t abide the idea of never smoking again. So he promised himself to not smoke more than once a day. He eventually cut back to once a week, and eventually quit entirely. But he never had to confront “I can’t ever do this again”.
Of course nicotine is a very different drug from alcohol. It doesn’t especially lower your inhibitions. So it may be easier to quit smoking this way than to quit booze this way.
But if a substance has been so destructive to your life over the years, why would you want to partake in it every once in a while? It’s playing Russian roulette every time you pick it up again.
The sickness never leaves you. It gets abated in recovery. Re-using can just re-open the flood gates.
Remember, addicts (sorry, LuckyHat) don’t use substances because it feels good, they use them to escape, mask, avoid. If anything, they use to not feel anything.
This was my suggestion which NA quickly came for me for. The reason I suggested this is because I know many molly and coke addicts that have “quit” this way. And by quit I mean to cut from daily/weekly use to only use when warranted (parties, etc.)
Then these people are not in recovery. Maybe they are not addicts but just growing up.
There are plenty of people who in college drank to excess multiple times a week, but as they’ve grown up drink very little. Those people aren’t alcoholics. They don’t have the sickness.
Have your friends ever gone to a professional to discuss their usage? If they are honest with themselves and with their medical professional they might be surprised at the answers.
Yes. Someone very close to me had to leave his (very well paying) job to recover from coke. He recognized there’s a problem, but fully admits he doesn’t want to quit for life. He’s been quite successful so far. Only did coke once for his birthday this year.
But, all drugs are different. Uppers are different from downers, and people are different. Rehab certainly doesn’t work for many people suffering from addiction. If one way doesn’t work, try another. You’ll find something that works for you eventually.
I drink too much. Been taking some steps to back off, I don’t drink and drive, only drink in the evenings, etc. But still, too much.
I wish that cannabis was more acceptable. Work loves to do happy hours and sometimes buys us alcohol. Cannabis is legal in my state (and I’d be approved for a medical card if I wanted it), but I’m not comfortable stepping out to have a few puffs.