My wife said her kidney stones were worse than childbirth.
My bad kidney stones were the only pain Iāve experienced that had me curled up in a ball crying. Similar level to getting kicked in the balls, but the pain doesnāt go away in 10 minutes. But some stones Iāve passed and barely even noticed.
Willie: Yeah, I know what you mean. You know,the other day, I took one oā them, uhā?
Frankie: Meat thermometers?
Willie: Yeah! And I just shoved it into my ear,you know? As far as it could go, you know? But then Itook one oā them, uhā?
Frankie: Ball-peen hammers?
Willie: Right. And just whacked it a few timesright in there, you know.
Frankie: Boy, that must smart.
Willie: I know! I HATE when THAThappens.
Paper cuts. 
Apparently when I was a toddler my Dad discovered Iād picked up more vocabulary than heād intended when I stubbed my toe and went āJesus Christ!ā
yeah, when Stu had kidney stones, the nurse at the ER said that she had given birth & had kidney stonesā¦ and said the stones were worse.
Also, he asked a cop, and he said it depended on where you got shot, but getting shot in the leg was nowhere near as bad as kidney stones.
pain scale
0: Hi. I am not experiencing any pain at all. I donāt know why Iām even here.
1: I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.
2: I probably just need a Band Aid.
3: This is distressing. I donāt want this to be happening to me at all.
4: My pain is not fucking around.
5: Why is this happening to me ??
6: Ow . Okay, my pain is super legit now.
7: I see Jesus coming for me and Iām scared.
8: I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain. I might actually be dying. Please help.
9: I am almost definitely dying.
10: I am actively being mauled by a bear.
11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.
Too Serious For Numbers: You probably have ebola. It appears that you may also be suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye.
One day I woke up and my shoulder was in terrible pain. Played basketball the day before but didnāt notice anything. Thought I wouldnāt be able to do anything all day it was so bad. But gradually got better over hours. Still gave me problems the next 2-3 months. Still flairs up once in a while if Iām exercising a lot or playing sports.
The worst pain I can recall is getting bursitis from the dye injection for an MRI on my shoulder. Or I guess that was what it was as near as I could tell. I couldnāt sleep and couldnāt get comfortable in any kind of position. Fortunately by dawn the inflammation had decreased and I could finally get some sleep. Iāll avoid future MRIs if I can because of it.
My family was never bashful about yelling JC. Took me by surprise when my 4th grade teacher yelled at me for saying it.
Iāve heard that women whoāve experienced both kidney stones and childbirth donāt consistently rate one over the other, so Iād assume it depends on the particular stone or baby.
Really we need to exposure adjust the baby to be able to compare apples to apples with the stone
lol. How often does your wife roll her eyes at you?
Oh yeah, I forgot about the time they tried to turn over my firstborn a week before she was due because she was frank breech. She was having no part of it (stubbornness started early!!)
I very nearly passed out from that.
Having a jury find my client guilty on flimsy evidence that the prosecution glitzed up.
Also, kidney stones.
Also, Legos to the bare foot.
stubbed toe. hate it
Not the worst pain, but top 5: getting Novocain shot into a facial nerve. Legitimately thought I might die.
To round out the top 5, not in any particular order:
Cavity filled without Novocain
Childbirth
Gallstones
Intestinal gas on period
the day after eating spicy jalepenos. ooooh