Helping "friend" with drug test

Dude haven’t you ever seen Gattica? I mean guy took a testing to a whole new level.

Use an elongated butt plug filled with clean urine to hide it and keep it warm. A catheter tube from the butt plug to a pinch valve taped to the underside of the scrotum will allow you to fill the sample jar as you pee your drug tainted urine into the toilet. Can be done with someone in the room as long as they aren’t staring at you or so I’ve heard.

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helping him out on a drug test would be fine, but you were correct to respect your wife’s wishes in not doing it. the friend is a jerk to be mad at you for this. it’s his dumb fault for doing pot. is it that hard to give up pot for a little while to get a job?

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Why do you hate freedom?

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i do think drug tests are dumb, and never actually had to do one. i’m just saying that it’s on his friend if he didn’t want to play by the rules here, not on ViceFleeble for refusing to enable him.

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This seems like more of an issue between the wives than between you and Stoner.

Do the wives want to hang out but Stoner is being pouty about it? Does your wife care about the friendship?
If so, and your wife wants you to mend the fence, and you don’t care either way, a “sorry I couldn’t help you out last week. You guys free on Friday? There’s a band playing at ….”

Or whatever. :woman_shrugging:

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I had to do one once, and i considered turning down the job because of it. It was otherwise a very attractive offer, though, so i went ahead and did it. But i still resent that.

I don’t recall the mechanics. It was a long time ago, and i didn’t expect to test positive.

That was my impression, too. Is your friend upset, or is this coming from his wife? Maybe contact your friend directly?

If you’re a long term pot head, it can stay in your system for months. I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan that far ahead for anything. Especially when the interviews are going smoothly, the offer can come in a week or two. That is not enough time to get pot out of your system. It is enough to get everything else out though, ironically.

Omg my first full time job I did a HAIR test. Hair is literally like the fossil record of drug tests. There’s no cheating that, as anything you’ve ever done will be locked in your hair until it’s chopped.

Good thing I was young and innocent and didn’t even drink. I had no idea how my other coworkers passed that though, some of them were clearly frat boys.

Yes, I would’ve handled it a bit differently. I’d have actually called the friend and given them that exact apology. This isn’t c’mon bro’ stuff. It’s asking you to go against your wife’s wishes. "friend’s’ can KMA if they expect me to do that, and I’m happy to tell them that.

Pot being legal in many states means that the person who did pot didn’t even necessarily break the law to do it. Drug tests are such a weird requirement at this point.

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Yup, especially with remote working, companywide drug tests are just dumb, since you could be hiring someone from a state where pot is legal, but due to your rigid HR policies, you can’t hire them, and the hiring managers have no say in this either. The offer can take a lot of effort to be put together and ultimately shot down mercilessly by the drug test.

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You wouldn’t be able to staff the workplace in Canada if you did drug testing. Between mj and cbd oil I bet you’re looking at 30 to 50 percent of adults.

Jeez, my 80yo mom takes CBd for joint pain. All the kids I know do pot regularly. Society hasn’t fallen apart. It’d be like testing for alcohol use in the past week. Nobody would pass. Except maybe my own wholesome self.

CBD oil would make a person fail a drug test? I dont think that’s illegal anywhere in the us.

:wave:

Yep I’d pass too. I last had alcohol labor day weekend.

OMG if I had to do a hair test on my first job I’d have probably gone to jail.

Though I’d pass with flying colors these days.

LSD? User name checks out

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The tests usually have a thermometer attached to the cup, so even if you donated some pee, it wouldn’t be warm enough to pass.

If it were me, I’d apologize, make it real sappy, kinda cry, and make it real uncomfortable…. Then, just as I leave their cube (maybe as a coworker pops in), I would unveil a gallon of apple juice with the label removed. Then wink while repeating “I got your back next time bro.”

At this point in my debut post, I will now go on a tangent about myself….

When I was 19, I had my first corporate internship. They required a hair follicle test, and did I mention I was in college at the time. Anywhoo… I got a box of shampoo with a hippie on the bottle that turned my hair into wire. It seemed pretty sketchy, but whatever.

First test came back as inconclusive. Jokes were made around the water cooler, and I pretended to laugh and be like “who does that stuff any way, like where do you even find it.” I was asked to take a second test, and proceeded to use the rest of the shampoo I got at the head shop.

Some time passes, and about a week before I went back to college, my boss came over to my cubicle, and just wanted to let me know that my drug test came back……….(looooong pause)…… I passed. At least that’s what he said.

I believe the shampoo was called clear choice…. Good stuff… Not a funny name, tho.