Declining dessert

Hey is there a polite way to decline dessert at the end of a group meal? Not because I don’t like dessert or think I’m fat or because it’s expensive, but because you know, it’s gross because they put it in the middle of the table and everyone shares it with their spoons and stuff. Especially unhygienic if it’s ice cream imo.

Is it okay to make a hard pass on this or order one just for myself?

I don’t eat desserts. I find a “no thanks” works just fine.


Take one bite early, from a place not close to where anyone else has stuck their spoon. Then don’t take any more. No one will even notice.

Or just say, “no thanks”. No one will care.


^This. Or order one to go if you want your own desert.

The truth will set you free. Tell those germy people, you want no part of their gross germs and then order your own dessert.

Split bill?

Depending on the group, that could be viewed oddly. Especially if large desserts

When ordered, tell the waiter to bring a serving spoon and seperste plates, so there are no communal germs

Get dessert first.


Yes, decline. Or, yes, order your own.
Life should not be so difficult.

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Is this a family situation? That’s the only time I’ve ever come across the “everyone dig into the same dish” dynamic. At a restaurant I don’t think I’ve come across it at all. If I’ve gotten a “family style” meal at a resaurant it has come with separate plates and serving utensils.

I still think that CS should grow a backbone, and not hide what he’s doing. If he wants dessert, order your own.

Some people are germphobic, some aren’t. It’s understandable if you are, especially in these covidy times.

Don’t know what a dessert it, nor do any of my friends.

In restaurants, I tend to be underwhelmed by the dessert options. If you want a good dessert, go to a bakery, not a nice restaurant ime.

they all have flourless chocolate cake. you’ve had one flourless chocolate cake, you’ve had them all.

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I’ve been in groups of actuarials where we descend on dessert like a pack of ravenous hyenas!!! Of course, this was in the Before Times… :frowning:

it’s a sweet course that white people like to eat at the end of their meals

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straight white guys, I presume

Gay guys don’t like ice cream? No way

Yo, Millie!! I’ve been to Chinese bakeries, ya know!!! I love those egg custard tarts you get at dim sum!!! :moon_cake: :dango:

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Or like I dunno, bubble tea or something

chinese bakeries in china town are great, but the entire experience is stressful. you have to sort of cut the line to ever pay.

The way I have understood Chinese queuing is to imagine that you are at a NYC nightclub where you kind of just have to squeeze your way through everyone else in order to get to the bartender for a drink.

Then just extent that logic to pretty much every transaction you can think of and that’s what China is like.