In my defence, I knew my son was graduating but did not know he was valedictorian. If the ceremony had happened in the evening I would have gone in any event but it was at 2 pm on a work day.
My wife had retired from actuarial work by this time and she was 100% involved with our kids and their schools. I was doing a ton of international business travel at that time so was not as involved with parenting as I should have been. Thankfully my wife parented for both of us and did a great job of child-raising.
I say this with only kindness and not judgment. I’m sad that you didn’t feel that your son’s graduation was something you could or should be away from work to experience with him. I’m sure you wish you had that memory.
I grew up with a dad who was pretty much never at any of my school events, because he was at work. And my mom had six other kids, so she often wasn’t there, either. It was pretty sad for me.
I’m also grateful that culture has shifted, especially for dads, and dads (really working parents in general) are expected to prioritize their families over work now, for the most part. If my manager knew that my kid had a big school event and I was opting to take a meeting over being there, she’d probably chew me out for it (she doesn’t have kids, but she is great about flexibility for those of us who do, and flexibility in general for life).
As a single earner family, I have definitely had to miss some things for my kids, because there are a lot of things. My husband is able to be at almost all of them, and I’m so happy to have that arrangement. I always make sure I’m there for the first day of school, and the last, and all the big things in between.
It’s hard to feel like you have to choose your career over your family. On the one hand, you care far more about your kids than your job. But on the other, if you don’t excel at your job, you feel that you’re letting your family down by not giving them a better lifestyle.
I would add that it was my son’s elementary school graduation: I did attend every high school and university graduation event that my kids went to so there is that.
When my oldest daughter gave birth to her first child I started plotting my retirement so as to at least be much involved with my grandchildren. The first step was to go to four days a week work to have a grandpa day with my granddaughter every week. By 2009, I was fully retired so I have been able to spend much time with those of my grandchildren who live in the Vancouver area.
Wait your son’s elementary school graduation had a valedictorian?!?!
Uh, that’s pretty f***ed up. I mean, kudos to your son for being top of the class, BUT…
Elementary school graduations are dumb. The kids haven’t accomplished anything. According to a childhood development expert I know they actually cheapen the meaningful graduations in the eyes of the kids, so despite the adorable photo ops (the actual reason they exist) they are actively bad for children, especially the ones towards the lower end of the achievement spectrum.
Ranking elementary school children is also dumb and bad. There’s plenty of time for them to be competitive when they’re older.
I can totally see skipping an elementary school graduation occurring during the day that you didn’t know your son would be speaking at.
Ok yeah THAT is totally stupid, putting that much pressure on kids to compete against each other at an age where it’s not healthy.
I’m totally cool with elementary school “graduations”, our FS is having his on Wednesday and I’ll definitely be there, because it’s the biggest thing that’s happened to him SO FAR in his life, and who knows if he will make it to a HS graduation (his family history isn’t the best and if he is reunified, there is a good shot no one pushes him to finish). But it is a collective celebration of the cohort as they move on, not a time to uplift any individual kid, they don’t even have any of the kids perform or speak individually.
I still would do everything I could to be there for it, but it’s not a once in a lifetime memory if it was missed.
It was not a competitive academic situation: my son was not a particularly good student. I think it was more of a “Congeniality” honour as the students nominated him to speak to the assembled parents on behalf of them.
I went to my two oldest grandchildren’s elementary school graduations and they had no valedictorian. My son’s elementary school graduation was unusual as his sisters didn’t have valedictorians. Not sure why his class did it the way they did. It does seem a bit odd.
Nevermind, we’re good. Feel free to ignore my prior This isn’t a thing. Sure, there is an elementary school awards ceremony where they give out the perfect attendance certificates, etc., but no parent should feel obligated to attend that.
I started teaching my son cribbage when he was 6. I started slow, just 4 cards each, to get him use to counting, pegging, etc. Now he’s 8 and we play a proper full game. He told his mom that playing cribbage was one of his favorite parts of parenting time with his dad.
When I was little, my dad played cribbage with me, as like “dad bonding time”. I liked that I could reasonably win. Because after you learn all the rules, there’s not that much strategy. Sort of like, overcomplicated candyland. We later shifted to chess, which worked out even better because my dad didn’t really know chess. So we were beginners together. And it’s a better game. Also some Magic the Gathering.
I tried playing cribbage with my own kid recently, and got pretty much immediately bored myself. I’ve sadly realized that years of video games have made it so I have little patience for playing any board games with my kid. Oh well! I do still like playing chess with my kid. I give her queen-and-rooks odds.
Anyway, I’m really glad to this day that my dad looked for things like that. He could have just been like “doesn’t like sports, oh well.” There’s definitely something really familiar to a game like that, that you don’t really get otherwise.
Should really try cracking open the board game closet again…
Uh… there’s some strategy involved. I mean, less than chess, but a heckuva lot more than Candyland (which is 100% chance).
Maybe that’s why you’re bored.
Deciding what to discard into the crib usually isn’t too difficult although it can be. Maximizing the pegging points (while minimizing your opponent’s) has a little more strategy. I still sometimes screw it up.
And no it’s definitely not the cause of my boredom. I love playing lots of “deck builders” where subtle optimization is essential, and I am great at them.
In terms of classic games, I probably need to move on to bridge, but seems like a pita to learn, and I doubt my kid/wife would want to join.
This isn’t a thing. Sure, there is an elementary school awards ceremony where they give out the perfect attendance certificates, etc., but no parent should feel obligated to attend that.
I’ve sadly realized that years of video games have made it so I have little patience for playing any board games with my kid. Oh well! I do still like playing chess with my kid. I give her queen-and-rooks odds.
