NKOTB can go funk themselves this Christmas.
By the way, I’m disgusted with 10 of you for thinking Justin Bieber has a worse song than Spike Jones. That whistling, droning, whining abomination of the musical and lyrical arts could be cited thousands of years from now as the point where American culture began its decline.
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Hey, just run the contest!!
These are all pretty effing awful. I might need a day to decide, after continuously vomiting.
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Automatic vote for, just for using the word “funky.” (I can’t explain why, but for some reason, my brain convulses in raging misophonia upon hearing that word.)
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This is a REALLY tough call.
– Ted Hoffman
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In the car and I heard Stevie Nicks doing Silent Night for the first time I can recall. Maybe doesn’t belong in the list but it is the Steviest Nicks thing you’ll ever hear.
No, it snot. 
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Turns 80:
I always wondered why there is a snippet of this song in the TV special “Rudolph…”: Composer of the song, Johnny Marks, did the songs for the special.
Anachronism note:
Composer Johnny Marks already had some seasonal hits to his credit, including “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and “A Holly Jolly Christmas.” He specifically sought out Lee for his new song in 1958 and it’s easy to see why: Who better to convey its innocence and spirit than a 13-year-old girl at the forefront of the Baby Boom? Rock ‘n’ roll was in its infancy then, too.
“Holly Jolly Christmas” was written in 1962, three years after “Rockin’…” according to wiki.
Listening to many of these for the first time, I’m amused that Christmas Shoes is entirely a humblebrag about the singer buying shoes for a dying mother at Christmastime, and ends with how the boy was specifically sent by God to remind the singer what Christmas is about.
(And what is Christmas about? I guess sick moms?)
Can you repost all the videos, too? Some of these it is two that I had not heard before this one.
Edit: Nevermind, it was just the first question I needed a refresher on. New Shoes is bad-corny. But 2 seconds into John Denver it became clear, as it’s just bad-bad-bad.
Santa Claus Division
#1 seed NewSong against John Denver’s equally painful #2 seed, “Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas).
Two that I was not familiar with, so fall into the obscure bucket by well known artists. Will have to find and revisit before I vote.
Jack Frost Division
#1 seed “Santa Baby” against #2 seed, “Baby It’s Cold Outside"
This one is tough. Two songs that aren’t bad. Santa Baby can definitely be more annoying. Before BICO became “cringy” in the modern era, it was a good, fun song.
Mistletoe Division
5-seed “Mistletoe” take on Gayla Peevey’s “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas”.
An obscure song by well-known singer vs a frequently played with tongue-in-cheek purposely bad Christmas song.
Bing Crosby Division
#4 seed New Kids On the Block “Funky, Funky Xmas” against #2 seed “Wonderful Christmastime”.
Easy vote at this point for NKOTB.
I like “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”, but the one thing I can’t stand about it is Yoko’s background vocals. She is the worst singer!!! 
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Crap, I’m 2 days late closing things up. Work at year-end sucks. I’ll close polls later this evening and we’ll get to the semis, and everyone will have 3 days for that and the final.
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Well, well, well … we have an unexpected tie at the moment! I’ll give everyone until the morning to change votes if needed, or cast a last-minute vote if they haven’t. If we still have ties, they’ll be broken by 10-sided dice unless I can work out some fantastically random way to do it - like, say, cards in front of cat food dishes and letting the cats in the house choose. [Video for that isn’t guaranteed if it happens.]
Lobbying for your most hated song may also be factored into breaking ties, so feel free to shit talk any of them as desired.
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I voted for this one as the worst on every round but just saw a video of my six year old granddaughter singing it at her winter concert tonight. It sounded ok when she sang it.
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It’s a crap song and I hate it.
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Forgot to vote this round, sorry. I think I broke the tie.
Jaspess says (and I agree) that the only acceptable version of BICO is the Louis Armstrong/Ella Fitzgerald one. All the others are varying degrees of cringe. Especially the one by Dean Martin, who always makes any song feel like you have to shower afterward when you hear it.
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I don’t love the version I hear on the radio, but I love the song. I remember wanting completely unrealistic things as a kid without having any concept of just how unrealistic they were. The song encapsulates that. It’s fun.
But then it’s like they found the world’s most annoying kid to actually record it. Or possibly a perfectly fine kid and the instructed him to dial up the annoying. Or an adult pretending to be a kid in an annoying way… not sure.