What would your reaction be if you were present?

Super senior level mid 40s-50s female actuary say “Let me know if you need me!” to her male (mid 50s-60s) boss. Then she laughs and says “I didn’t mean it like that, I didn’t mean it like that!” Male boss smiles and says “I’m leaving!”

  • Cringe, and I consider myself a feminist
  • Cringe, and I don’t consider myself a feminist
  • Yawn, and I consider myself a feminist
  • Yawn, and I don’t consider myself a feminist
  • Other I’ll describe in my response

0 voters

Reaction to who?

It is such a common thing to say, her reaction is really weird, especially as an older person.

His reaction was to her reaction,and seemed the proper course of action. It is cringeworthy for it’s awkwardness

What does being a feminist have to do with anything?

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Agree, Let me know if you need me it’s such a common phrase that I’m not sure why she said that second part. That was weird of her.

Also not sure what feminism has to do with this?

Reaction to the whole thing. Mostly what she said.

I first put the poll without the feminist question, but I thought it might be informative to split it that way.

I think the male boss response was okay but I also think he hires for those types of women. That’s the single woman out of 6 hires he’s made.

What type? Awkward?

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I think we’re missing something by just seeing the dialog in written form.


Yeah, i think there is context and tone of voice missing in this whole exchange.

“Let me know if you need me” is a common and benign comment. I would think nothing of it. Why did she then talk in circles? Did he leer? Did she hope he was leering? Is there something else going on?

The woman’s comment is a little weird and awkward. The man seems to be trying to defuse an awkward situation. I consider myself a feminist.


As do I FWIW

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But yeah if she was throwing herself at him with those comments that could make for an uncomfortable scene

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The type who’d say jokey things that would make you think there was a possibility leering was going on, or whatever else other posters guessed. I did hear the tones but it’s hard to convey them. I didn’t see expressions other than the last bit - wasn’t looking in that direction at first.

Did it seem like she was flirting with her boss?

A situation where a subordinate is sleeping with their boss is NOT good for team morale. Especially if one or both of them is married and the relationship is an affair.

Or was she emphasizing “need” as in “call me if you really really really need me, but… please don’t call me unless it’s an absolute emergency” ?

Because that’s not really awkward or weird, unless she meant it that way and then it accidentally came across as flirty when that wasn’t intended. Which is instant-awkward.

I think it’s so hard for us to tell the tone that it’s hard to interpret.

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If I witnessed that, I’d say “but I might need you later tonight”

The second comment came across as flirting. The first comment could have just been left as is, acknowledging that I didn’t see their expressions, so maybe there was something off about someone’s expression at that point.

I doubt an actual affair was involved.

So… she’s trying to conceal that she’s got the hots for her boss but in her attempts to do so she’s making it even more obvious?

Just a stab in the dark.

It didn’t sound like she was trying to conceal anything… it was a bit demoralizing, not so much immediately, but when it became clear from the guys around her that the expectations were that women should act this way.

I bet her tits were concealed

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Not knowing these people at all, I have no idea

They’re having an affair.


And he has a type, though she is the only woman?