Continuing the popular thread on the AO
When leaves get stuck in or under your wiper blades.
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When the money comes out of an ATM facing different directions.
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Humblebrag about being able to leave your house.
Why cannot you leave your abode?
Or maybe busy studying.
Can leave the house to study. Libraries are open.
Dog needs walkies too!!! 
I was joking. Kind of.
Also, permitted by law < > permitted by spouse.
JFGW doesn’t let you out of the house?
whipcrack!
If I leave my house, won’t all the evil germs get me?
The sound of my dog licking herself. The sound fills me with an incredible rage.
You realize that some people are high risk, have other people they’re responsible for, which would make getting sick a big problem, or have loved ones who are dealing with the thick of the shitstorm and dumbasses being dumbasses further makes their life a living hell, right?
Yes, actually, I do.
Despite my flippant response (and at the risk of identifying myself), I spent almost a week in hospital recently due to developing congestive heart failure. I got that under control, began breathing better than I have in a while…and then a few days later was back on my ass with COVID.
Mrs. Sidekick also has health issues. Even before my hospitalization, we were both high-risk individuals.
I didn’t get the asymptomatic version of COVID, either. I had a few days wondering if, between COVID and CHF, the cough and tightness in my chest meant that it was time for me to go back to the hospital, hope for the best, and pray that my wife could manage on her own. As it was, she had issues with the added stress she put herself under trying to manage the house while I was locked in isolation away from her. (She did end up testing positive, but fortunately never manifested discrete COVID symptoms.)
So, unfortunately, I am VERY aware that for some folks, COVID is nothing to mess around with…and even despite best efforts, trying to do all the right things isn’t 100% effective as a defence against contagion.
That being said, having a dark, macabre, and sometimes inappropriate sense of humor is one of the more effective mechanisms to surviving the threat of big scary things.
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Good thing you don’t have my dogs - licking themselves is a morning ritual
I’m trying to actuarialize on the deck, but the 
in’ clouds keep rolling in and blocking the sun!!! 
Fair enough but IFYP.
We couldn’t get our usual brand of liquid hand soap so got another brand. I’m irritated that it’s not the same color as the bottle (white bottle, orangey soap which now that I think about it reminds me of Trump) and it has a stronger scent that’s not appealing.
People that fake laugh/chuckle at literally every single comment.
Let’s never meet. I do this inadvertently, although it’s something I’m always trying to stop.