Not quite the usual Florida Man story, but it sorta fits.
Hide yer beach umbrellas!!! 
He don’t lie, he don’t lie, he don’t liiiiiie: Cocaine
Or maybe he’s an incel who got mad that nobody wants to do Cocaine.
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With our without jalapeños?
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Oh he gon get it up the grove all right
Florida man has been busy
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/27/us/florida-man-alligator-bite-killed.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/25/us/dolphin-shooting-florida-sentencing.html
That first one is the same story that MS linked above. That story’s Florida man is a poster boy for meth consumption.
I suppose that makes the shirt a tax deduction.
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The antics of Florida (wo)man
He would rather go to jail than face his wife!
I hope they let him enjoy the luxurious bath before taking him in. Otherwise a waste of water. Unless one of the officers elected to have a luxurious bath.
Why not both?
Raises a lot of joke premises.
She was probably frustrated that she never got to find out why it was crossing the road.
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