Sad thoughts

Dad will have no legal rights to communicate with his kids after PC, and we would have no obligation to allow it. We would, as long as it was not putting FS in any danger or causing harm. Dad is a bit of a misogynist and just a jerk in general (he encouraged FS to find the boy FS’s sister kissed and beat him up, to defend her honor), but overall not enough of a bad guy for us to cut off contact. Cell phones make contact a lot easier now anyway.

We celebrate Christmas on the 24th already, so letting dad get him on Christmas would a nice and easy concession. If dad could find transportation to a specific place, yeah, we would definitely let him keep a schedule of seeing him, in public or supervised spaces. We aren’t looking to make this kid’s life even worse. It’s certainly tough though.

As for telling him about what’s going on, his dad has always been very transparent about things like that, sometimes even to a fault. So my guess is that dad will be telling him at tonight’s visit. If not, we will be letting him know Monday as a care team.

And as always, nothing is certain. Dad may convince them to delay the hearing by making progress in the next two weeks…who knows. But if it gets delayed, it can only be delayed until April and then they MUST file for PC, the law won’t allow them to continue to extend.


Well I hope that whatever is best for FS is what ends up happening with no undue delays. Sounds like that’s probably adoption, but either way.

Keep us posted. :people_hugging:


A friend of ours had a stroke about 2 months ago. She’s in a rehab hospital now, but still mostly paralyzed on the left side. Fortunately, she still has most of her faculties and could keep a conversation with us.


My mom’s BFF (they sat next to each other in kindergarten in 1952 and have been besties ever since) is going into a home due to her dementia. It’s now more than her husband can manage. :cry:

Could just as easily be my mom, but thankfully my mom is doing really well.


:bighug: you need one

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Can you afford to see a couples therapist?

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I’m going to start keeping an eye on a friend of my 11yo. He had a birthday party today, and there were 10 friends there. One of the friends didn’t get picked up, had to call the parents and then give the kid a ride home.

I grew up in a moderately neglectful home (7 kids and one car, not much money), and that still wouldn’t have happened to me.

I’m pretty concerned about this kid’s home life. Mistakes happen, yeah, but…it feels odd. She’s an only child in a home with two parents, so I’m not sure how a child gets forgotten about. The parents didn’t really seem fazed when we called, they were like, oh yeah, we forgot, can you give her a ride back? They forgot?!?

This girl also told our son that he is her only friend. :frowning:



I mean, I was (more than a couple of minutes) late to pick up Mini Me at daycare once, but you could not possibly describe my reaction as unfazed… I was horrified. (I’d forgotten my phone, which was my alarm to leave, at home and was just really in the zone at work and lost track of the time.)

Girl is lucky that you’re keeping an eye on her.

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They were making passionate love and wanted to buy some more time?

Yeah, keep an eye on the kid. That’s really weird.


I’ve forgotten to pick up my kid before. It’s part of being a forgetful person. Same way you forget your passport, or the name of a friend, or to show up for a final exam, or to check all the numbers in an important actuarial report.

I usually am pretty freaked out when I forget something important. But my wife sometimes acts nonchalant when she makes similar errors. Pretty sure neither of us would ask you to drop our kid off though. That’s extra weird.


I can sort of see the dropping the kid off part. At this point the parent’s choices are to either take NA up on her kind offer, or involuntarily inconvenience the host of the party by leaving their kid too long. If it’s not too far out of NA’s way then that option might have resulted in the least total inconvenience to others, and no involuntary inconvenience.

The nonchalant attitude is what bothers me most about that story.


Yeah. People make mistakes. But forgetting to pick up your kid is a pretty big deal. Your kid feels abandoned, and you are inconveniencing some adult. I’d expect any normal parent to be a little alarmed and more than a little apologetic about it.


We popped in to see our friend who had the stroke 3 months ago. Her left side is still paralyzed, but we noticed she is better able to keep a conversation going. She’ll have an assessment near the end of October.


former roomie now. had another today. while driving. on the highway. super lucky to be unharmed and others unharmed. car has damage but whatever.

had just started driving again not too long ago after a 90 day waiting period following something in the middle since the original post.

kid has a ton of stress on him lately and this won’t help (but could also be brought on some by the stress). he had been doing mostly well.


Sorry to hear that. Maybe he could consider living in NYC or DC or Phoenix (I hear Waymo is there), someplace he doesn’t need to drive. Seizures can keep happening. For all its faults, the NYC MTA subway is a far safer place to have a seizure than the drivers’ seat of a car.

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Today would have been my dad’s 90th birthday. We stopped at the cemetery and now we’re grabbing hot drinks.


Dog we’ve had for about 9 years being put down today. A rescue, believed to be about 5 then, so 14ish now. Has had major mobility issues for a few months now. A house dog except for potty breaks outside on leash. Hasn’t left the yard except for drives to doctor for at least 2 months. At times had getting himself to a standing position inside, though medicine helped a lot with that. But starting yesterday his mobility has been near 0. Euthenasia vet due here in about 10 minutes.


My best friend’s dad just passed away. Booked off work today and going to the funeral. :cry:


wife tutors kids in reading. one kid from last year was going to return this week after getting settled into the new school year. kid has ASD and some other things going on that make her days difficult in every way.
this week’s resumption on hold bc she was placed IP for mental health issues. she’s 11.


This has not been the best weekend.

Over the last few years we have been dealing with my FILs dementia, and all the associated costs and care that entailed (FIL planned well for his retirement but like most latin marriages of the time he provided financially while his wife ran the house and kids. Little information about finances went from FIL to MIL. She basically had no idea how to handle anything money related).

When he ran into health problems due to his dementia she just couldn’t cope with caring for him at home and handling the finances (thats where we kind of all stepped in to help fill the lack of financial understanding on her end).

We kind of got things stabilised (in terms of finances, nursing care, exercise, visits etc) over the last few years, but now my MIL has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Her chances of beating the cancer are good (based on the treatment data and the stage of the cancer), but it came as a huge psychological blow.

At this point, the conversation needs to turn to FIL going into a specialised facility for dementia (he has serious memory problems now and requires 24/7 nursing care at home) but she just doesn’t want to hear it.

These conversations are really hard to have. My wife & I are trying to convey to her that her health comes first now, and that she does have options.