Random memories

Many years ago, I was staying with a girlfriend. A neighbor called to tell her father there was a lovely rainbow nearby. He stepped out onto the porch and confirmed that it was pretty great. Then, in his slow, soft-spoken way, he suggested we drive somewhere for a better view. So, we did. Five grown ass adults crammed into his beater of a car, and he stepped on the gas, flying down the country roads, and pulling onto the highway. Except, he lost traction there, and the car flew off the road into a field, rumbling through the grass, and stopping 50 yards later. So we all got out and admired the rainbow from there. It still looked pretty good.

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One cool thing I was able to once witness was a sea turtle laying eggs on the beach in Cancun. We were taking a walk along the beach around 10 or so in the evening and came across a giant ass turtle that was digging a hole a few yards up onto the beach. We were the first ones there (not a lot of people were out at that time) and watched it from a few yards away while it did its thing. A few people eventually walked up to watch as well, and some employees of the hotel property came over to supervise. After the turtle was done, they dug up the eggs and moved them to a separate protected area of the beach. This was before the era of fancy camera phones and social media, so all I have from the event is a picture taken the next day of the stake with a date and # of eggs from that protected area.

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Had a similar experience in Hilton Head, SC when I was young. The dads/uncles would take all of the cousins out at night to go “crab hunting” and we came across a sea turtle laying eggs. We observed for about 10 minutes and then some guys came flying up on quads, I guess they were with some kind of environmental protection agency. They let us stick around but moved us pretty far away. Crazy experience!

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About 7 years ago I was in therapy. The therapist observed that I have a defense mechanism that was triggered when I was challenged. He asked - Where does that come from?

A repressed memory floated to my brain and I started talking about this: When I was 4-5 y/o, there was a mentally challenged and half crippled neighbor who would pick on me (Todd, ~ 30 y/o i believe, he lived on the corner hill with his mom). We’d often playing on that hill. We’d ride our bikes fast down this hill. Throw balls down this hill and kick it back up the hill. Well, Todd would come by me, and only me, and ask me “where’s your mom?”. Sometimes he’d pinch me, sometimes he’d pick me up and shake me while holding me close to his face, asking the same question. Some neighbors saw and would yell at him to put me down or stop pinching me. I recall a neighbor yelling at him “Are you picking on T-roy again?”. And he’d put me down and say “oh no, nooooo”. When they didn’t see it I’d normally just go back to playing. I cannot remember the feelings that I had (probably a good thing).

For years, YEARS, I never thought of this. I was never able to put my defense mechanism-ness on these events. My dad was at work, my mom was at work, neighbors were watching us. It was the 70’s.

My parents remember our neighbor (Joanie) telling them that Todd was picking on me. They knew he was pinching me, but picking me up and asking about my mom, they didn’t know.

My dad is not a physical person, but he gave me the best hug I ever got when I told him about this.

To this day I cannot admit that this was “abuse”. I think since he was mentally challenged and hurt he didn’t know better. Something that I have to work through, obviously. Turns out, the prank calls that we’d get were Todd trying to hear my mother’s voice too.

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