Pretty sure my cat stabbed me last night

Woke up with a hole in my foot and there’s only one person who couldda done that ow.

just a flesh wound I guess.

How did you not wake up then?

(I wake up if my neighbor’s basement faucet drips)


Maybe you have a vampire bat in the house

Maybe it was self-inflicted. Have you had a pedicure lately?

  1. cats aren’t people
  2. don’t you have a spouse?

Beware of Spider Pig!

I mean, it’s a cat. Presumably it’s been plotting this since it got there.

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spider bite?

You learn, I have a number of scars from when I woke up and had 2-3 inch scratches in various places. I probably woke up for 15 seconds and went back to bed.