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WASHINGTON, D.C.—With the announcement of Associate Justice Stephen Breyer’s pending retirement dominating the current news cycle, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has put forth the following statement: “The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president.”
When it was pointed out to Senator McConnell that these were the exact same words he used in 2016 on the day of Antonnin Scalia’s death, McConnell explained, “Yes, and the same principle still applies. We should not have a lame-duck president who is clearly on his way out making such an important decision for the nation.”
Reporters further pressed McConnell, pointing out that the situation is quite different now, as Biden still has three years left in his term, and he is not a lame duck. McConnell shot back, “Are you sure about that? He sure seems like a lame duck to me.”
When asked about the inconsistency of the standards he is applying and the apparent hypocrisy given that Amy Coney Barrett was confirmed just a week before Election Day, McConnell just chuckled slyly and said, “I know. How cool was that?” before snorting a giant line of cocaine.
Welcome to “Hate Me, Date Me!” with AOC, the game where you can tell Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez just how much you hate her – and she’ll draw her own conclusions about how much you want to date her. Which lucky bachelor will she pick?
Everyone should note that ###'s linked post is from the Babylon Bee.
Many other reactions to her new book here, many funnier than this, but this is one of the ones most directly political. (More than half of them are referring to the book as “fiction”.)
I think the rabid book banners probably don’t actually read the Bible either.
But that’s wholesome nudity, incest and genocide.
I wondered about this at home. if she was approved, would another justice have to sit 250 ft away or only participate via zoom?
Does she have a restraining order against Thomas? If so, the onus is probably on him to avoid her. So he’d be the one who couldn’t be within however many feet of her. Also, I have no idea if those things cross state lines. She might have to get one in DC.
It’d be quite the coup if that forced Thomas to retire, thereby giving Biden another nominee.
Jesus, Joseph, and Mary!
i was being silly. i have no idea about a restraining order, if ever, if not lapsed, etc.
Yeah, I don’t really see that happening either. Seems unlikely that a restraining order would still be in effect. But fun to entertain the hypothetical.
