March Mediocre Mayhem 2023 (a.k.a the RPS Mediocre Members tournament)

Are you bummed that you didn’t make the Final Four of March Madness 2023 (a.k.a the annual Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament) yet you weren’t bad enough for the consolation March Sadness tournament?

Let’s see who can keep up the mediocrity!

This tournament is for the 12-RPS players who won their first match but didn’t make it to the Final Four.

The default will be for you to participate with all of your throws made automatically by the moderator’s Excel =RAND() fn.
If you’d like, you may also submit your own throws (for the entire tournament all at once ) or specify how rand() should be weighted for you or any other Excel tricks you’ve got up your sleeve. Just send them to me via pm. You should submit a total of 44-throws (four for each opponent) if you go the own-throw-route.
If you prefer, you may bow out and not participate at all. Just make your wishes known…

Rest assured, dear participants, the results generated by our Mediocre Mayhem Machine™ will be free from any shenanigans, monkey business, or hocus-pocus thanks to our esteemed moderator.

Here are the players that I’ve identified:

  • IPD
  • twig93
  • SteveGrondin
  • Tiffany
  • Whiskey
  • Vorian_Atreides
  • A_Student
  • SteveWhite
  • soyleche
  • JFG
  • AbstractActuary
  • Actuary321

This will be a multi-round-robin tournament. You will play every other player 4 times - 2 times on your home pitch and 2 times on your opponent’s. However, due to time constraints, results will only be shown at the end of the final round, so you won’t be able to make any halftime adjustments like they do in Snooker.

There are going to be two champions:

  • The RPS Mediocre Median Master will be the player with the median rank in the standings after all throws have been thrown. If you end up being an odd bunch (due to dropouts), there will only be one most-mediocre-master, in all liklihood…otherwise, there will probably be two…or more!
  • The RPS Tons of Ties Titleholder will be the player with the most number of tied throws in the round robin tournament.

As a reminder, the goal is to win and lose such that you end up in the middle of the standings [or] throw what your opponent throws (a lot). Individual matches that end in a tie will be considered 1/2 of a win. The MMM will be based on overall standings.

Welcome to all of our participants, and we wish you some luck…just enough so that you’re right in that meaty part of the curve - not showing off, not falling behind.

The Mediocre Mayhem Machine™ is currently missing a functioning Wobblebox Throbulator™ because it’s currently in about a thousand pieces spread about my garage floor. I’ll be working feverishly to put it back together. I’ll post the results as soon as I know all of the participants, their strategeries (if applicable), and find the duct tape and crazy glue.

(For our European Union players, don’t forget to set your clocks ahead this weekend.)



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I got this

Maybe that,s too optimistic, but surely I’m competitive with the average player in this.


How many RPS game versions can I lose? Let me count the ways…


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:iat fix:

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If I’m reading the results correctly, you have all entered the Medicare Advantage …or, if I turn off autocorrect, Mediocre Mayhem. Consult the OP if you wish or just enjoy the ride.

I’ll probably post results at some point between tonight and Sunday night .

Dew ewe knot reed yore DM’s?

I’ll take the default option. :slight_smile:

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Do whatever you need to

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All right, good news, everyone. The model has been rebuilt, validated, and certified. It’s been run through Test, QA, and is being loaded into Production tonight.

Expect Mediocre results tomorrow.
Here’s to middling results:

With matches so soon, I should be working on strategy, but it’s tough to get that excited . As long as I finish in the middle of the pack, it’s ok

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:roll_eyes: :heavy_division_sign: :eyes:

Here are the results of the match-ups:

detailed results

Rd, Home, Hm Throw, Away, Aw Throw
1, A_Student, S, AbstractActuary, S
1, A_Student, S, Actuary321, S
1, A_Student, P, IPD, R
1, A_Student, P, JFG, R
1, A_Student, R, soyleche, S
1, A_Student, R, SteveGrondin, S
1, A_Student, P, SteveWhite, R
1, A_Student, R, Tiffany, S
1, A_Student, S, twig93, R
1, A_Student, S, Vorian_Atreides, P
1, A_Student, P, Whiskey, R
1, AbstractActuary, S, A_Student, P
1, AbstractActuary, P, Actuary321, P
1, AbstractActuary, S, IPD, P
1, AbstractActuary, S, JFG, P
1, AbstractActuary, S, soyleche, P
1, AbstractActuary, R, SteveGrondin, P
1, AbstractActuary, P, SteveWhite, R
1, AbstractActuary, P, Tiffany, R
1, AbstractActuary, R, twig93, R
1, AbstractActuary, R, Vorian_Atreides, P
1, AbstractActuary, P, Whiskey, P
1, Actuary321, R, A_Student, R
1, Actuary321, R, AbstractActuary, R
1, Actuary321, S, IPD, S
1, Actuary321, P, JFG, R
1, Actuary321, P, soyleche, R
1, Actuary321, R, SteveGrondin, R
1, Actuary321, P, SteveWhite, P
1, Actuary321, P, Tiffany, R
1, Actuary321, P, twig93, S
1, Actuary321, R, Vorian_Atreides, R
1, Actuary321, R, Whiskey, P
1, IPD, R, A_Student, S
1, IPD, P, AbstractActuary, P
1, IPD, S, Actuary321, R
1, IPD, R, JFG, R
1, IPD, P, soyleche, S
1, IPD, S, SteveGrondin, R
1, IPD, R, SteveWhite, P
1, IPD, P, Tiffany, P
1, IPD, S, twig93, R
1, IPD, R, Vorian_Atreides, P
1, IPD, P, Whiskey, P
1, JFG, P, A_Student, S
1, JFG, P, AbstractActuary, P
1, JFG, P, Actuary321, R
1, JFG, S, IPD, S
1, JFG, R, soyleche, R
1, JFG, S, SteveGrondin, R
1, JFG, P, SteveWhite, P
1, JFG, P, Tiffany, P
1, JFG, S, twig93, R
1, JFG, S, Vorian_Atreides, P
1, JFG, R, Whiskey, P
1, soyleche, P, A_Student, R
1, soyleche, R, AbstractActuary, S
1, soyleche, P, Actuary321, S
1, soyleche, P, IPD, R
1, soyleche, P, JFG, S
1, soyleche, S, SteveGrondin, S
1, soyleche, P, SteveWhite, R
1, soyleche, S, Tiffany, R
1, soyleche, P, twig93, S
1, soyleche, S, Vorian_Atreides, S
1, soyleche, P, Whiskey, S
1, SteveGrondin, R, A_Student, P
1, SteveGrondin, R, AbstractActuary, R
1, SteveGrondin, P, Actuary321, R
1, SteveGrondin, R, IPD, P
1, SteveGrondin, P, JFG, S
1, SteveGrondin, S, soyleche, S
1, SteveGrondin, S, SteveWhite, P
1, SteveGrondin, S, Tiffany, R
1, SteveGrondin, S, twig93, S
1, SteveGrondin, S, Vorian_Atreides, R
1, SteveGrondin, R, Whiskey, R
1, SteveWhite, P, A_Student, R
1, SteveWhite, R, AbstractActuary, R
1, SteveWhite, P, Actuary321, S
1, SteveWhite, P, IPD, S
1, SteveWhite, R, JFG, P
1, SteveWhite, P, soyleche, P
1, SteveWhite, P, SteveGrondin, S
1, SteveWhite, P, Tiffany, S
1, SteveWhite, P, twig93, P
1, SteveWhite, S, Vorian_Atreides, R
1, SteveWhite, R, Whiskey, P
1, Tiffany, S, A_Student, S
1, Tiffany, R, AbstractActuary, P
1, Tiffany, S, Actuary321, S
1, Tiffany, R, IPD, R
1, Tiffany, R, JFG, P
1, Tiffany, P, soyleche, P
1, Tiffany, S, SteveGrondin, P
1, Tiffany, P, SteveWhite, R
1, Tiffany, S, twig93, P
1, Tiffany, S, Vorian_Atreides, S
1, Tiffany, S, Whiskey, P
1, twig93, P, A_Student, S
1, twig93, P, AbstractActuary, R
1, twig93, R, Actuary321, P
1, twig93, S, IPD, P
1, twig93, P, JFG, R
1, twig93, R, soyleche, S
1, twig93, R, SteveGrondin, R
1, twig93, R, SteveWhite, R
1, twig93, R, Tiffany, R
1, twig93, S, Vorian_Atreides, R
1, twig93, R, Whiskey, P
1, Vorian_Atreides, P, A_Student, P
1, Vorian_Atreides, R, AbstractActuary, S
1, Vorian_Atreides, S, Actuary321, S
1, Vorian_Atreides, P, IPD, S
1, Vorian_Atreides, R, JFG, P
1, Vorian_Atreides, P, soyleche, P
1, Vorian_Atreides, S, SteveGrondin, S
1, Vorian_Atreides, S, SteveWhite, P
1, Vorian_Atreides, R, Tiffany, R
1, Vorian_Atreides, S, twig93, P
1, Vorian_Atreides, P, Whiskey, P
1, Whiskey, P, A_Student, S
1, Whiskey, S, AbstractActuary, P
1, Whiskey, R, Actuary321, P
1, Whiskey, P, IPD, R
1, Whiskey, R, JFG, P
1, Whiskey, R, soyleche, P
1, Whiskey, S, SteveGrondin, S
1, Whiskey, P, SteveWhite, R
1, Whiskey, P, Tiffany, P
1, Whiskey, P, twig93, R
1, Whiskey, R, Vorian_Atreides, S
2, A_Student, P, AbstractActuary, R
2, A_Student, R, Actuary321, R
2, A_Student, P, IPD, P
2, A_Student, S, JFG, P
2, A_Student, S, soyleche, P
2, A_Student, S, SteveGrondin, P
2, A_Student, P, SteveWhite, P
2, A_Student, R, Tiffany, S
2, A_Student, P, twig93, S
2, A_Student, R, Vorian_Atreides, R
2, A_Student, P, Whiskey, R
2, AbstractActuary, P, A_Student, S
2, AbstractActuary, R, Actuary321, P
2, AbstractActuary, S, IPD, S
2, AbstractActuary, R, JFG, S
2, AbstractActuary, S, soyleche, R
2, AbstractActuary, S, SteveGrondin, S
2, AbstractActuary, S, SteveWhite, R
2, AbstractActuary, R, Tiffany, P
2, AbstractActuary, S, twig93, S
2, AbstractActuary, R, Vorian_Atreides, S
2, AbstractActuary, P, Whiskey, P
2, Actuary321, S, A_Student, S
2, Actuary321, P, AbstractActuary, R
2, Actuary321, P, IPD, R
2, Actuary321, S, JFG, P
2, Actuary321, R, soyleche, R
2, Actuary321, P, SteveGrondin, R
2, Actuary321, R, SteveWhite, R
2, Actuary321, S, Tiffany, R
2, Actuary321, P, twig93, R
2, Actuary321, R, Vorian_Atreides, R
2, Actuary321, P, Whiskey, P
2, IPD, P, A_Student, R
2, IPD, S, AbstractActuary, S
2, IPD, R, Actuary321, R
2, IPD, P, JFG, S
2, IPD, S, soyleche, R
2, IPD, R, SteveGrondin, S
2, IPD, P, SteveWhite, P
2, IPD, S, Tiffany, P
2, IPD, R, twig93, S
2, IPD, P, Vorian_Atreides, P
2, IPD, S, Whiskey, R
2, JFG, R, A_Student, S
2, JFG, R, AbstractActuary, P
2, JFG, R, Actuary321, P
2, JFG, R, IPD, R
2, JFG, P, soyleche, R
2, JFG, P, SteveGrondin, P
2, JFG, P, SteveWhite, R
2, JFG, R, Tiffany, S
2, JFG, S, twig93, P
2, JFG, R, Vorian_Atreides, S
2, JFG, R, Whiskey, P
2, soyleche, P, A_Student, S
2, soyleche, R, AbstractActuary, R
2, soyleche, R, Actuary321, R
2, soyleche, P, IPD, P
2, soyleche, R, JFG, P
2, soyleche, S, SteveGrondin, R
2, soyleche, P, SteveWhite, S
2, soyleche, R, Tiffany, R
2, soyleche, R, twig93, S
2, soyleche, P, Vorian_Atreides, S
2, soyleche, S, Whiskey, S
2, SteveGrondin, P, A_Student, R
2, SteveGrondin, P, AbstractActuary, S
2, SteveGrondin, R, Actuary321, S
2, SteveGrondin, S, IPD, S
2, SteveGrondin, P, JFG, R
2, SteveGrondin, P, soyleche, R
2, SteveGrondin, S, SteveWhite, R
2, SteveGrondin, R, Tiffany, R
2, SteveGrondin, S, twig93, R
2, SteveGrondin, P, Vorian_Atreides, S
2, SteveGrondin, S, Whiskey, S
2, SteveWhite, P, A_Student, P
2, SteveWhite, P, AbstractActuary, S
2, SteveWhite, S, Actuary321, P
2, SteveWhite, R, IPD, R
2, SteveWhite, R, JFG, R
2, SteveWhite, P, soyleche, P
2, SteveWhite, S, SteveGrondin, R
2, SteveWhite, R, Tiffany, R
2, SteveWhite, R, twig93, R
2, SteveWhite, R, Vorian_Atreides, P
2, SteveWhite, R, Whiskey, S
2, Tiffany, R, A_Student, P
2, Tiffany, R, AbstractActuary, P
2, Tiffany, P, Actuary321, R
2, Tiffany, R, IPD, P
2, Tiffany, S, JFG, P
2, Tiffany, R, soyleche, S
2, Tiffany, P, SteveGrondin, R
2, Tiffany, P, SteveWhite, R
2, Tiffany, P, twig93, R
2, Tiffany, P, Vorian_Atreides, R
2, Tiffany, R, Whiskey, P
2, twig93, R, A_Student, P
2, twig93, S, AbstractActuary, S
2, twig93, S, Actuary321, S
2, twig93, S, IPD, S
2, twig93, P, JFG, S
2, twig93, S, soyleche, P
2, twig93, S, SteveGrondin, P
2, twig93, R, SteveWhite, R
2, twig93, R, Tiffany, P
2, twig93, P, Vorian_Atreides, R
2, twig93, S, Whiskey, S
2, Vorian_Atreides, P, A_Student, R
2, Vorian_Atreides, S, AbstractActuary, R
2, Vorian_Atreides, S, Actuary321, R
2, Vorian_Atreides, P, IPD, R
2, Vorian_Atreides, S, JFG, P
2, Vorian_Atreides, S, soyleche, S
2, Vorian_Atreides, R, SteveGrondin, S
2, Vorian_Atreides, P, SteveWhite, R
2, Vorian_Atreides, S, Tiffany, S
2, Vorian_Atreides, P, twig93, R
2, Vorian_Atreides, S, Whiskey, S
2, Whiskey, S, A_Student, R
2, Whiskey, S, AbstractActuary, R
2, Whiskey, S, Actuary321, S
2, Whiskey, S, IPD, P
2, Whiskey, S, JFG, S
2, Whiskey, P, soyleche, P
2, Whiskey, R, SteveGrondin, P
2, Whiskey, P, SteveWhite, P
2, Whiskey, P, Tiffany, R
2, Whiskey, S, twig93, P
2, Whiskey, S, Vorian_Atreides, P


Congratulations to @AbstractActuary & @JFG , the 2023 RPS Mediocre Median Masters!!! (Two years in a row for JFG!!!)

Congratulations to @Actuary321, the 2023 RPS Tons of Ties Titleholder!!!

Thank you to all of our participants. Congratulations to our mediocre winners. As for the rest of you, meh-tter luck next time.


Too little, too late. If by “middle” you mean “bottom” then you’ll be pleased with the results.

So I get the “kissed your sister” prize?

And kinda congrats to @A_Student for having the best winning percentage, for what it helps.

Dude! You’re the 2023 RPS Tons of Ties Titleholder You can’t get more mediocre than that! …except maybe not winning so much and getting closer to the median.

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BTH, I think that JFG should have sole possession of the “median” by having an exact 500 win pct.

He could kiss his sister.


btw, I don’t know what that means. :confused:

Be The Honest

It’s the new acronym for TBH that all the cool kids are using these days.

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