Q: Why does Santa have such a big sack?
A: Because he only comes once a year.
Q: Why does Santa have such a big sack?
A: Because he only comes once a year.
Why did the AO chicken cross the road to GoA?
To play in the RPS tournament. ā clicky clicky
People are saying that Teslaās donāt have a new car smell
They have an Elon musk
I was quite surprised to hear the stationary store moved.
Last night I accidentally took my catās medication.
Donāt ask meow.
Last night I arrived early for my dinner reservation. I checked in at the desk and the manager said the table would be ready soon, would I mind waiting a bit. I replied, āNo, thatās fineā
So, he handed me two glasses and said āTake these to table nineā
If you would look up the word plethora for me it would mean a lot.
I was in the mood to tell everyone a funny new story about time travel, but you guys didnāt like itā¦
Iām starting a new club for time travelers. If you would like to join, the first meeting was last Thursday at 7pm at the library.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
Iām writing a book on reverse psychology.
Please donāt buy it.
Yesterday a friend complained that she didnāt have a date for Valentineās Day. So I told her 2/14.
An atom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink.
Bartender slides him a drink and the atom downs it. The bartender asks āHey, buddy, you all right? You look terrible.ā
The atom says āI do feel terrible. I just lost an electron.ā
The bartender replies: āAre you sure?ā
The atom says: āIām positive.ā
I replaced the bed with a trampoline.
The wife hit the roof
I hope I havenāt already posted this one.
Where does the Helsinki marathon end?
At the Finnish line.
Itās a running joke around the office.
Q: Why was ex fired from teaching?
A: Because no matter how he differentiated his instruction or integrated his curriculum, the result was always the same.
I thought it was going to be a nice sunny day, then the clouds started moving in.
I asked Siri on my iPhone,
āSiri, surely it wonāt rain today will it?ā
Siri responded, āIt will rain, and donāt call me Shirley.ā
.
.
.
.
That is when I realizedā¦
.
.
.
.
I had my phone in Airplane mode.