Jokes

Q: Why does Santa have such a big sack?

A: Because he only comes once a year.

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Why did the AO chicken cross the road to GoA?

To play in the RPS tournament. ← clicky clicky

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People are saying that Tesla’s don’t have a new car smell

They have an Elon musk

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I was quite surprised to hear the stationary store moved.

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Last night I accidentally took my cat’s medication.

Don’t ask meow.

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Last night I arrived early for my dinner reservation. I checked in at the desk and the manager said the table would be ready soon, would I mind waiting a bit. I replied, “No, that’s fine”

So, he handed me two glasses and said “Take these to table nine”

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If you would look up the word plethora for me it would mean a lot.

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I was in the mood to tell everyone a funny new story about time travel, but you guys didn’t like it…

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I’m starting a new club for time travelers. If you would like to join, the first meeting was last Thursday at 7pm at the library.

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I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

She gave me a hug.

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I’m writing a book on reverse psychology.

Please don’t buy it.

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Yesterday a friend complained that she didn’t have a date for Valentine’s Day. So I told her 2/14.

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An atom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink.

Bartender slides him a drink and the atom downs it. The bartender asks “Hey, buddy, you all right? You look terrible.”

The atom says “I do feel terrible. I just lost an electron.”

The bartender replies: “Are you sure?”

The atom says: “I’m positive.”

I replaced the bed with a trampoline.
The wife hit the roof

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I hope I haven’t already posted this one.

Where does the Helsinki marathon end?

At the Finnish line.

It’s a running joke around the office.

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Q: Why was ex fired from teaching?

Summary

A: Because no matter how he differentiated his instruction or integrated his curriculum, the result was always the same. :upside_down_face:

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