I don’t agree.
I think the idea alcohol is perfectly safe for everyone but an alcoholic is simplified and dangerous.
The underlying cause of alcoholism is that alcohol is an addictive drug.
Alcoholism manifests itself in the compulsion to drink, which leads to bad decisions, health problems, relationship problems, etc.
Simply not drinking may eliminate the consequences of drinking, but the alcoholism is there. You are now clean.
But sobriety leads to discovering the triggers and resentments that make the alcoholism manifest. Removing those as best you can, mitigates (but never completely removes) that alcoholism.
Just like aspirin will take away back pain, what’s causing the pain (tight muscles, injury, etc) is still there.
Alcohol is not safe at all. It is a toxin to the body. However, a large majority of us can process small or infrequent amounts without that compulsion developing. Alcoholism creates the need for more and more frequent alcohol over the well being of the alcoholic. Alcoholism is a very selfish disease.
The disease model of alcoholism is overly simplistic.
It was useful in creating the idea that it’s ok to not drink.
But it grossly oversimplifies the reality of alcohol use.
Lots of people drink enough it causes them problems without reaching the level of “alcoholic”.
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I think there is a difference between substance abuse and addiction. I think semantics are at play in this thread.
“A person who is able to do this is likely NOT an addict.” - this does not say that the person does not have a problem. And use of the word “likely” does not convey an absolute truth.
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I would agree with that.
I think it’s very fair to say that some of the people who have drinking problems / drink too much are not alcoholics.
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I think addiction to different substances plays out differently. My MIL said she didn’t like it when drug addicts who happened to also abuse alcohol showed up at her AA meeting. Their experience was too different.
It’s a vacuous statement, which is why I asked her define what she thinks an addict is, which she conveniently ignored.
Also, using the word “likely” does not excuse her rudeness.
She is likely wrong about most of her statements. See how that works?
This is absolutely correct.
The whole “using to feel a level of normalcy” is very different by drug, if that’s the definition one uses to define what addiction is. It also depends on whether it’s a physical or mental addiction.
Most of the party drugs won’t really lead you to addiction because 1. people aren’t using it to escape, but to celebrate. and 2. the exhaustion and depression are so bad that no sane person would want to do the drug any time again soon.
That’s because I have you on ignore and only see what I choose to see, and don’t get notifications when you respond to me. Perhaps you should do the same for me.
I feel bad this thread has gotten a bit derailed.
LuckyHat congrats on 2 years.
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thanks.
Thread is pretty much dead. People that feel vulnerable and need a place to talk about their issues will likely not feel comfortable posting here. Which is unfortunate, since I put a lot of value in being able to post my thoughts in this thread and the prior AO thread as I worked through the process over the last 2 years.
Ill give it some time, hopefully the tone here will change.
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I think the way Alyssa handled a similar intention for trans rights/news discussion has been pretty successful, might be worth trying that kind of setup
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Ask for a Private Group.
Moderators can still see everything posted, but have to join to make a post.
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Wife stopped drinking, finally.
I’ve been wary of her let’s call it light-alcoholism for years now. Like she’s always been a fairly heavy drinker, though not usually drunk, or nasty or any such thing. And generally able to cut back for the sake of diets, or pregnancy, or whatever. She also just liked being a drinker. But it seemed to be somewhat problematic, and maybe getting worse, and we do have a small child… so we agreed to try to moderate…
Except she couldn’t moderate. She kept slipping bottles to herself. We did that for a couple months, and a couple bad slips later, she decided to go cold turkey. She was on meds. Now she’s off them, though still in therapy. Now she’d say it’s all good, but who knows. We’ll see how it all goes.
Mostly, she’s not problematic, but I just don’t want her to spiral in a couple years into some kind of absolute nightmare drunk while our kid is growing up. Go right ahead in another 15 years if that’s your thing.
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Good luck to you and your wife SV
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My kids were the biggest reason I quit drinking. They were ~5 when I quit. up until then I don’t think they either noticed or remember what I was like drunk. If anyone ever questioned my choice to be sober I would just say ‘im a better dad sober’, end of discussion.
I have seen folks in a similar stage as your wife- Not drinking enough such that its clearly a problem, but standing a little close to the edge such that it could easily (and sometimes does) become one. Setting your baseline that high makes it easy to go on benders when you get the chance.
When I quit I recall thinking - drinking hasnt ruined my life… yet, but it sure could at any moment now. Looking at my nice wife and kids I couldnt bear the idea of losing them to something so stupid.
this may not relate directly to your situation, just got me thinking about some of my own experiences.
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Almost two years without drinking and I still get dreams with alcohol use in them. I also had a dream about my first job the other day so I guess some things never fully leave your subconscious.
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Good on ya mate!
Going sober starting today. I drink daily and often too much and it’s beginning to catch up with me. Blood pressure is higher than it should be and my doctor said my liver function was “slightly elevated”.
Doing this will almost surely lower my BP a bit, if I don’t replace the calories I’ll likely lose weight, and it will probably help with my colitis as well as quality of sleep.
Once I’ve proved I can do 2 weeks, I’ll allow myself 1-2 drinks as long as it’s occasional, not multiple days in a row. I’ve probably only had a few days without 1 or more drinks in years.
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