my only real break was the 4 months i was laid off. it was the opposite of wonderful.
similar feelings discussions where i am. (brother does not hand me a flask though)
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whatâs stopping you from taking 6 months off right now? Donât you dare say âthe jobâ, guarantee they give ZERO shits about you and your health. Because if you dropped dead tomorrow, theyâd be posting your job on Friday, 'cause itâs not about you, itâs about profit. So if youâre worried about leaving them in some kind of hole, thatâs their problem, not yours.
If itâs finances, guarantee you can make the equivalent of 4k / month doing delivery driving with Uber Eats, if you can put 35 hours a week to it and are in a major metropolitan area (enough to get by). Sure, you may pay some for gas, but the mental break from the difference between actu-donking all day and just sitting in your car listening to the radio is yuuuge.
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Have you considered talking to a counsellor?
I would also recommend looking into what exactly is the ultimate source of that stress. I have seen where the ultimate culprit is actually anxiety about ______ that some mild medication can be very useful to help with managing things.
Note that Iâm not advocating to medicate the problem; Iâm advocating taking steps to get an objective perspective on actual causes of your current condition and then finding appropriate solutions for that root cause.
Starting with a few sessions with a counselor can go a long way to finding an objective view on whatâs going on. And theyâll probably have a better handle on whether or not medication should be part of the solution.
I often find that I feel stressed about A, but, when Iâve had time to think about it, although A is bothering me, B is bothering me a lot more.
For example, the other day my SO disagreed with me on how I disciplined our kid. It bothered me for over a day, but what was really bothering me was feeling disconnected from my SO because of a lot of other things.
Lucky, this doesnât sound directly applicable to your current situation. But the way other people are acting may be compounding your stress.
I hope we are working to improve you.
Canât say I can help. I stay out of the way of things like this.
But, since youâre asking (crying out?) for help:
1mg Melatonin, if you can find them. Pop it an hour before your scheduled bedtime. (Donât wait!)
I use the cherry-flavored lozenges from RiteAid or GNC. Itâs the smallest I can find, but I figure I can double-up easier this way if I ever have to, and so far I donât.
Also: start looking for a new job. Or ask JSM for some ChatBot help.
sabbaticals should be more common, 3-12 months every 3-5 years would allow someone to start fresh in a new job/rotation after handing everything off to a successor
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An earlier poster was using I think Nalexone and weed, wouldnât hurt to try.
I just got back from 8 weeks off, which I have only done twice in my career before, once when I had a baby (stressful), and once when I was laid off (stressful, and might not have been a full eight weeks, but close). This one was amazing in comparison.
The best part was that I was able to essentially hand everything off and close the books, so when I got back, I didnât have to jump into a mountain of work. It was like starting a new job. And returning, while tiring and a lot, is not nearly as bad as I had been fearing.
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Thatâs great! But was this the thread you intended?
Yes, the threads above were discussing the stress of work and the option of taking extended time off, which I agree with.
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I hate taking a single week off. I have to work extra hard the week before I leave and then i am behind for 4 weeks after I get back. I typically only take 3 days off at a time so it doesnt ruin my whole month.
8 weeks would be long enough that any current project you are working on will have to be passed off completely. This is the kind of relief I got when changing jobs. Starting a new job with a clean inbox is such a relief (have done this 2x).
unfortunately, It would be hard/near impossible to dislodge myself from ALL of my current projects. We are a small shop with only a handful of actuaries.
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In 20 years, do you think youâd regret âletting your company downâ, or not taking the time to deal with your life stress?
Sharing my experience, nothing as big as what youâre describing.
I broke up with one woman while drinking heavily. It took a long time to process, because I used drinking as a way to avoid processing.
I broke up with someone else right before a planned month off drinking, that was for me a lot easier to process.
My take away from that was I can process things, just not while drinking.
ETA, it sounds like work may be whatâs making it hard for you to deal with your underlying stressors
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dislodging from your current projects WILL happen, itâs up to you whether itâs voluntary (you choose to prioritize your health) or involuntary (you burn out and then are no good for anyone, especially yourself!).
Iâve learned that there is no project or employment more valuable than my own life and my ability to be around for the people I love. I encourage you to evaluate whether you can say the same. Because your statements previously in this thread indicate that youâre willing to jeopardize your health for a company who values you as a âresourceâ, rather than a human.
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also, my DMs are always open. Iâm happy to share an essay Iâve written about burnout, let me know how to get it to you, if youâre interested.
I spent the weekend either alone or with just my wife/kids. I actively chose not to engage with the rest of my family (they were gathered and looking for me). I feel bad for ditching them, but I was so relaxed all weekend. I even ditched work at 430 on Friday to get started on the weekend (for me this is early).
My wife came home with a bottle of vodka (for her bloody Mary). She thought it was ok âbecause I didnât drink anymoreâ and I had to explain that I will still drink that vodka if its in the house. She was understanding and at least put it out of sight.
So overall a good week. no drinking and lower stress.
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Do not feel bad for focusing on your well being.
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If you really want to get away from things, perhaps do what this gal from Spain did:
Spainâs Beatriz Flamini spent 500 days in a cave alone : NPR
The above is intended to provide a bit of humor by offering an extremely exaggerated suggestion that actually happened.
Maybe Snick and CS married each other. That would explain a lot
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