Divine Comedy - Actuary Edition

OK so it would go something like this, I wake up and see Edmond Halley staring at me or whatever and he’s all like yo dude I’m here to guide you through Hell. And I’m like uhhh ok, I guess this beats doing a reserve review so I tag along.

Then he takes me to Limbo where all the non-believers are and I’m like, Heaven’s gonna be better than this, right? And then he’s like “well this is where I reside” and I’m like no way man! And he says, “alas, I lived before the creation of the CAS so I was unable to enter Heaven.” Then I look around and notice that all of the SOA actuaries who were otherwise virtuous wound up in Limbo…interesting.

Then we go to the 2nd circle where the tempest of lust is and I ask if there are any actuaries there and Eddy is like, “here? Hah! don’t make me laugh”. Although we did see this notable non-actuary floatin’ around in the wind, I forgot his name but I think it was like Shebby Poo or something.

But the SOA actuaries who did the GI track get into heaven, right?

No, they still wind up in Limbo. But the CAS actuaries who switched to the SOA GI track end up in the 9th circle.

I read it as Edmund Hillary and was very confused