I have a coworker who charitably put, doesn’t care if they waste my time. So they’ll ask me anything by instant message, even if the question would be better put to someone else, and even if it’s a busy time and the question can wait until our next meeting. And even if they could have emailed because the question is not urgent.
They usually (not always) respect if I’m on busy.
But if I’m on busy, I don’t get questions from other people who respect my time more and reach out only with things I want to hear.
My solution has so far been to put this person on mute after every time they send some question that is a time waster. And unmute them every time I ask them a question or they ask me something important. This doesn’t help if they have something important after they asked me a couple of inane questions… I won’t know until next time I check their chat, but that way I don’t have to be constantly on busy. Any other potential solutions?
Perhaps talk to them directly and let them know what they’re doing.
Or you’re not comfortable doing that, talk to your supervisor about the distraction it presents to you.
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This. Let your supervisor let you tell this time waster that they are wasting your time with this question.
If the two of you have the same supervisor, this should be easily taken care of, unless, of course, there is a culture difference.
If you two have different supervisors, let them hash it out.
Need more info. What experience level? What’s your official relationship to this person?
Sounds like you haven’t actually addressed any of this with them. Ignoring them probably isn’t going to help, and they clearly aren’t going to get the message. Be clear with them, set expectations about your availability, redirect them to others who are more appropriate, give them resources instead of just answers to make them more resourceful.
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Experienced colleague, report to the same manager. I would not bring this up with my manager. It’s not that big a deal since my mute button works well to allow me to focus, if it does have the side effect that other people will wait to tell me things, which I can live with. I view bringing up things with a manager as something you do if someone gives you the impression they won’t respond to feedback, or if they will retaliate in response to feedback, neither of which apply here. Or if the manager should have some reason to know. Or if you can’t think of a good solution that doesn’t require their input.
I will probably put something in my year end review where it asks if I assist colleagues, that I assist this one often. But not in a way that implies that they are deficient in some way, just that we collaborate often lol
I have not directly talked to this colleague about this. Indirectly, I have said to them a while ago (in a humorous way) that they were the contact that reached out to me the most. And a little more recently I mentioned something about a group chat that pings us too often. Neither of which is directly addressing this, but it’s not leaving them totally in the dark. But I take your points.
So, “help me find a passive-aggressive solution that works”?
Key characteristics of passive-aggressive behavior include:
- Indirect expression of negativity:
Instead of saying they are angry or upset, a passive-aggressive person might sulk, make sarcastic remarks, or engage in subtle sabotage.
- Resistance to direct communication:
They avoid open and honest conversations about their feelings and may deflect or deny issues when confronted.
- Procrastination and avoidance:
They may deliberately delay or fail to complete tasks as a way to express their resentment or displeasure.
This can include things like showing up late, forgetting appointments, or making excuses for not following through on requests.
While not overtly aggressive, passive-aggressive behavior often stems from underlying hostility or resentment.
As opposed to “go complain to someone’s manager about something I already have a solution for?” lol
just double checked the AI definition of passive aggressive and I’ll let you know when I actually do one of those things.
